R Geis - A donkey named Peter

"I held her in my arms and listened and tried to calm her, but the fever – the lust fever – was in her. I knew I had stopped her too soon. She was burning."

"Some of her fever came into me. I had had dreams like hers long ago, when I was a girl, and I had done things to myself, but I had been able to resist after a while."

"Barby was alone in the house with me, for long cough-ravaged weeks, in that bed, left alone to do things with Devil-guided hands."

"She rubbed against me unknowing, innocently at first. She rubbed her firm young breasts against my own. I am – I was – look at my sagging front now – see my fat belly beer-belly – but then, that winter, I was like her, only older, I was big in the chest, too. I gave her my body."

"The fire, the slow fire came into my breasts, from the slow, innocent rubbing of her breasts. My flesh glowed and I felt my teats stiffen and burn for more."

"The evil thoughts came – the ways to give in and not know it, the sly, dirty, pretending schemes to fool yourself… at first. But the time comes when you cannot pretend. When you are panting like a winded horse with your legs spread and your child's hot mouth is on you and her Devil's tongue is entering you and driving you to time after time after time of that wild, hot pleasure that cannot end and you know will continue as long as you can stand it!"

"I schemed to myself without knowing, then. I told myself I had to let her have the dirty satisfaction she needed to be calm. I told my daughter to go ahead and do it to herself, just to soothe herself… one last time."

"But she was too embarrassed to do it with me in the bed, holding her. She was so ashamed and tortured. She could not do it. And so I sacrificed myself. I did it for her. I put my mother's knowing hand down there under her nightie… down there in the hot, wet, center of her body, in that damp furnace between her thighs, and I put my finger into her and I found the organ that needed touching, and it was like mine… my little tongue of flesh that stiffened sometimes with heat and lust… I knew how to touch hers."

"Barby oh, my Barby – what did we do? Why? We gave in, we gave in so easily! Your lust kindled mine and we burned, we burned till we were ashes we burned and we slipped into hell!"

"She's there now – in hell – burning and screaming in pain, paying for her sins. And I'll be with her soon. I'll die soon and join her. The pain will be good. The agony will be good. I deserve everything. I should have saved my child… and I paved the way… I let her do the degraded things we did and I let her bring that animal into the house – and I let her experiment with him and I joined her – and I took it into me – ahhh… the size of it… and the hellish pleasure…"

"We were witches – we didn't know it – we were worshipping the Devil and we didn't know it. Not the goat – but the hoofed beast! He came to us cunningly, and possessed us. The monster entered us. The monster killed her – BARBY – raped her – ripped her insides – up – up – up into her – screaming – oh God the blood! I can't – I – I, no – go away… go away… leave me alone… you jackal, you leech, you parasite… I don't want your drink… I want to die…"

(But she called me when she needed a bottle and continued the story.)

"My child clutched me as I gave her that pleasure that first time, in her bed, with the heavy covers over us, over our heads, with cold slivers of air sometimes stabbing into our warm nest."

"She whispered my name and cried on my shoulder. But she opened her legs for my hand… and she moved so the bed started creaking again… she moved against my hand and tried to drive my fingers into her as she did to herself."

"I let her do it. I held my hand stiff and let her use it as if it were a man's thing."

"It shocked me and I wished she didn't do it that way, but I said nothing. I wanted her to have the pleasure and be released and calm and soothed."

"I told myself she had a woman's body, but she had been a child, a baby, such a little time before. She was only sixteen and she was pressing herself onto my fingers as if possessed! Moaning again. Disgustingly wet there. Sticky and hot. Inside she was large… it surprised me… and she wanted a man. She needed a big man. Her dreams were showing her. That knowledge made my throat tight and I thought we would have to get her married soon. Some girls are not made for waiting. I thought she was ready for carrying babies."

"And so I let her use my fingers… I heard her whisper in her lust, maybe not realizing she was speaking aloud, whispering for more… so I did for her with three… three fingers."

"This is what you want, isn't it? This awful, lascivious detail, isn't it? The filthy things we did, everything, everything… So your dirty-minded readers can enjoy – can enjoy the terrible things…"

"No, you're right, you're so right. It doesn't matter. Maybe there's a lesson for somebody in what happened to us. God forgive me, I hope so!"

"Barby clutched me so hard when she, when she reached her time – the pleasure. It surprised me. It shocked me how intensely she felt it. She was so frantic and so greedy for it. It frightened me her greed for that kind of pleasure… that terrible response and that need. It wasn't decent. No woman should lust to that extent. No decent woman. No girl should have a devil in her for physical satisfaction – like that!"

"Barby was out of her mind with lust in that moment. She touched me… me… she started to do it to me… she put her hand between my legs and her fingers pushed into me there."

"YES – I was that way – I was eager, my body was ready for a touch. And for a few seconds she mauled my organs and rubbed me inside and out in that shameful welter that the body provides."

"I was overwhelmed for a time. I was mad for it, too. My legs opened, too. I moaned, too."

"But Barby stopped when she came to her right mind. She snatched her hand away from me and wept like a child and sobbed for me to forgive her."

"I did. I patted her and soothed her and finally left her to return to my bed, but then I was still afire."

"I burned in my lonely bed and had evil thoughts of lust for my husband… not only him. I brought up my memory of boys from my youth… the one boy who had been bold and selfish with me. He had mauled me openly during a picnic and forced my hand to his pants to feel him there – a terrifying hardness. He even opened his pants and showed it to me. I was like a rabbit hypnotized by a snake – it poked up so white and long, with its red cap on top."

"He made me touch it – it was hot with blood and alive somehow… alive in my fingers like a bird wanting freedom."

"I put my hand on my privates in my bed and gave myself up to sensuous thoughts and fantasies. I satisfied myself as quickly as I could, taking care not to shake the bed. I rubbed the little, stiff bit of flesh that is so pleasurably sensitive for a woman."

"When it was over I promised God I would never do it again, and would keep Barby from abusing herself likewise again."

"But that poor girl – possessed – the next day! The next day when I was out in the barn, feeding that loathsome animal – that pony that became our… our lover! I had a premonition… a flash of inner knowledge that she was at herself again. I could see her in her bed – doing it – working her fingers into herself, gasping and panting in her madness, jerking her body in violent spasms…"

"I had been out of the house for a half an hour at least. I had to find out. I prayed I was wrong. I crept back to the house and was silent as sin as I went inside."

"My heart sank – I heard her, louder than before, thrashing in her bed."

"I went to her door and eased it open an inch, to see. Dear God – what she was doing to herself! My blood went cold, then prickly darts went up and down my spine."