Anonymous - Muriel

'Do you? And yet you cannot know', he groaned.- “What I have done to you? I do! I shall never go to her again, I promise, Roger. And besides…'-'Yes, what?' His voice was edged with fear. Oh, that I have brought him to such a precipice-he who is faithful to me to the end and succours my most sinful whims. I am the one who must have strength, I told myself.

'What is the hour? Is it not night?', he asked.

'It is but dusk. I meant not to be late'. I moved from him. His penis had not stirred for me, was coated as with frost or rime. I thought he had… But he could not, would not. There is no other woman here. I would go to bed, I said-was tired. The day had such a dying fall! Dear Daisy did not come in to say goodnight. Perhaps she frets for me as well.

Deirdre's Day-Book

Vaguely I think of returning-yet what will be there but an emptiness? I languish without Sylvia-or is that my excuse? I would lose my freedom-would lose all. Muriel, in a letter, says that I stay best where I am, and that Sylvia will visit shortly here, but not alone, for Jane will come with her. I think that Muriel is right.

Dear Eveline, she has confessed to me all that was done.-'You brave one', so I said to her. Maurice appeared and asked us bluffly what we spoke about.-'Go on and tell him', Eveline said. I could not, though.-'We spoke of Maude', she said and then he laughed and said that he was glad the truth was out. He told me then what he had told them both, and Eveline looked quite proud at that.

'You see, we are libertarians to a fault', she said, though looked not as comfortable as she might. It was a strange day-empty in its way. I half expected what they said. I doubt the word of Maurice, though. A woman's instinct? Yes, perhaps. It is as much to say as, 'I will not eat another chocolate from that box'-and then within the very thought one's hand extends to it. I know. I have dipped into that box myself. The lure of sin is like the thought of Christmas to a child. If Richard only had a different face, ah then I know I would-tonight.

Eveline said that they will have a 'party' soon-'Just chosen guests', she said, and winked.

“Would Maude be there? Could she not be?', I asked. She flushed at that and looked away, Maurice said nothing but just hummed.-'Well-you could chaperone her in a special way', said Eveline and looked at Maurice straight. I think their house is built upon dry sand. He shrugged and said, 'Of course-what else?', but which question that he answered neither of us knew. I saw myself in minors all about and knew myself to be no better then they are.

Richard was in Amy's room when I returned. They both sat straight up on the bed.

'It is good for you to talk', I said. I cannot stop the world from going round. Richard jumped up and kissed me on the lips and said 'Mama', just like a parrot might while Amy simpered and looked down, fingered her dress which was much creased. Two dents showed in her pillows. That I saw. Maurice will have to see to her again. I know about 'the Committee' now, for Eveline has told me, has confessed that, too.

I took the key from Richard's door and locked him quietly in when he had gone to bed. He waited, thought I slept, then tried the door. I heard him grumbling to himself. Perhaps I should lock Amy in as well. They cannot have it as they will. Despite my sins I do not think myself so much a libertarian yet! And Eveline, I do believe, is having other thoughts as well concerning that, with Maude upon her mind. The biter who is bit knows well the pain.

Maurice's Day-Book

We are 'between lives' in a strange, new way. Despite the badinage, assurances, all is not well. This irks. It should not. Is all spoiled? Maude is her daughter, after all, not mine. I may be kin but am not blood-kin to the girl.

Maude is provocative, besides, and gives me sidelong looks which do not help when Eveline is present, for I think she notices. I resolved to speak to Maude again, finding myself much between two stools, and thought thereby to quell my own desires by speaking to her sternly. Alas, she has her mother's ways. It did not work out as I thought. Perhaps in truth it worked out as I hoped. The human mind is, after all, a maze of 'Will' and 'Will not'- that cannot be helped. We all are as we are and must accept the fact.

Maude said that she would go to town today to buy some stockings and some shoes. For my part I said that I would be about the farm and would not be an hour or so. Taking horse, I followed Maude and caught her on the road, coming alongside her carriage and signalling our driver to stop at the next village, which he did. Maude thereupon got out and asked me with a knowing smile what I was at. I did not answer her at first but took her in a nearby inn, asked for a room and led her up.

'What is to do?', she asked and took her bonnet off. A comedy then followed, if such it can be called. We were to behave ourselves I said. I carried no conviction in my words, as well she knew.-'I know. I understand', she said, then looked towards the bed and added, 'You may kiss me, though. You said you would'.

A silence followed. For a moment we two stood apart.- 'I wouldn't tell Mama, you know', she said, and stepped towards me, put her arms about my neck. Lord help me, in a moment we were down upon the bed, my hand beneath her skirt, her legs apart. Her tongue was wet and long within my mouth. She drew her further knee up, let me feel her quim.

'You have no drawers on, Maude'.

'I knew that you would follow me. Mama was naughty, watching. Why should I not be? Oh, let me touch your prick. I want to, please!'

'You bitch! How quickly have you learned!'

'I have good tutors, do I not?',-and all this said while down my trousers went, my cock couched in her smooth, warm palm and all a-sudden fever of desire. Ah, what a feline animal she proves to be! And I… I could not help myself. Her stockings rubbed my bared thighs as I entered her. Obscene words poured from both of us. The gentlemen had had her bottom, yes. She liked it, and I could as well. Her cunny was a mouth of hungriness much as her lips were under mine. Brazen her wriggling, wild her eyes. She wound her legs up round my hips and moaned her pleasure as we came in torrid torrents of ecstatic bliss, then lay a-panting, quiet and still the while I kissed her powdered cheeks.

'The coachman may suspect if we two dally long', I said at last.

'I know'. Her voice was sulky about that. She had a moody look as we both dressed and tidied up ourselves again.-'You do not love me after all', she said. Shades of her mother!

“Why do you think I did it to you?', I flared up. Oh, what a stupid thing to say!

'Oh, I thought you did it with me', she declared and swept out of the room, I following like some ridiculous suitor, much put out, and in a dungeon and confused. I rode straight off, came home and knew not how to be.

'What IS the matter with you?', Eveline asked. Maude, fortunately, did not return for a whole hour, so nothing was suspected, though there was no cause to be. I do not want another 'party' yet and have told Eveline so. She looked relieved. I am sure she knows it is because of Maude.

Deirdre's Day-Book

A week having passed since I visited Eveline, I decided to call upon her again. Intuition must have led me there. Oh, what a tizzy she was in! My suspicions as to Maurice and Maude were not unfounded after all. She had discovered them together in the summerhouse-foolish as they were to do it there, and these of course are my words and not hers.

Eveline sensed something as women do, pretended to go out and then went back. Not finding them in the house, she searched the grounds and saw all there was to see through a window of the garden-room. Maude, brazen as she is, was kneeling on the floor upon a mat, skirt up and no drawers on. Maurice was naked to his shirt and knelt behind her with his penis well embedded up between her bottom cheeks.