Liz Adams: Alice's Sexual Discovery in a Wonderful World

Rabbit nudged her. “Get ready. This is really arousing.”

“Okay,” the pony-tailed elder said and began to read. “ ‘Non-disclosure agreement. This agreement, the ‘Agreement,’ is entered into on this blank day of blank by and between blank, located at blank, the ‘Disclosing Party’, and blank with and address at blank, the ‘Recipient’ or the ‘Receiving Party’.’ ”

“You gotta be kidding me.” Alice noticed the men were staring wide-eyed, their breathing getting heavier. “This isn’t a story,” Alice said to Rabbit.

“Shh!” Rabbit said.

Most curious indeed! Was there some cliche about contract law that made law sexy in this wondrous land? She couldn’t think of any such cliche.

Alice sucked in a breath when she suddenly remembered she had something a hell of a lot more exciting than contract law.

“I hope it’s still here.” Stuffing her hand in her pocket she found what she was looking for. Yes! The Story of O!

“Stop! Stop!” Alice shouted. “I have a much better story to read you!”

The men talked all at once. “Better than The Non-Disclosure Agreement?” and “Does it have any life-threatening cliches in it?” and “You can read?”

“This is MUCH better than The Non-Disclosure Agreement and no, there are no life-threatening cliches in it.” Alice waved the book over her head like a trophy.

“What’s it called?” Several men wanted to know.

Alice read the title aloud, “It’s called The Story of… ” That was strange. The title changed.

“Stupid title,” one man said.

“Yeah, kind of leaves you hanging,” another said.

“No-” Alice stared at the cover. “I didn’t finish reading the full title. It’s just…the title changed.”

“Read the full title, already,” a man whined.

“It says, The Story of OMH."

“Oh, now that’s a good title!” One man cried quite pleased.

Alice opened the book and began to read aloud. “ ‘Old Mother Hubbard lived in a cupboard…’ “

“What’s a mother?” One man asked.

Alice was in a haze. The words had completely changed and they didn’t know what a mother was? “Don’t you have parents?”

The men looked baffled.

“A mother is a woman, okay? Like the queen. Like me. You are all men and I’m a woman.”

“What’s the difference?” the elder asked.

“You know,” Alice gestured to their cocks. “You have…things. And I don’t.”

“Oh! You have a box,” Rabbit said.

“Right,” Alice said. Thank goodness that was straightened out. No need to explain the difference between men and women by comparing genitals, anymore.

“Okay, keep reading,” another man begged.

“ ‘Old Mother Hubbard lived in a cupboard eating her curds and whey…’ ” That wasn’t even how the real nursery rhyme went. She decided to read a little further. “ ‘Along came a candlestick, Jack was nimble, Jack was quick…’ ” Alice stopped, distracted. Lord! Several men around her were fondling themselves, rolling their semi-hard cocks in their fingers.

Alice squeezed her legs together. A little buzz whistled through her body.

She read on. “ ‘Jack jumped over three blind mice. Three blind mice.’ ” Through the corner of her eye she could see their hands move faster. Her nipples pebbled hard from being surrounded by all these turned-on men. She liked the feelings coursing through her. Maybe this experience would lead to orgasm. That would be nice. Who knows? Maybe that’s what she needed to get back to her normal size. Then she could go home.

She decided to give them something to really get turned on about.

Alice pretended to keep on reading, reciting a fantasy instead. “And Jack was a fireman with a yellow slicker and red hard hat. He carried an enormous ax into the burning building. Once inside, he heard a lady’s voice cry out. ‘Help!’ It came from behind a bedroom door. The fireman used-”

“What’s a ‘fire man’?” one man said.

Alice glanced up from her book. All the men were stroking their cocks hard. She snapped her head back down to the book she was no longer reading, feeling more than just her face grow hot.

“You know.” She squirmed in her seat. “A man that puts out a fire.”

“Like Rabbit!” another man said.

“What?” Alice said without looking up.

“Rabbit is in charge of putting out the fires,” the voice of the elder said. “Please. Continue.”

So Alice did. “The fireman opened the bedroom door, but as soon as he entered, burning beams collapsed behind him, blocking their exit! Without a moment to lose, the fireman went-”

“Stupid name,” someone said.

“What?” Alice asked again, keeping her eyes in the book.

“If he puts out fires, why do they call him a ‘fire man’? Why don’t they call him a ‘fire-out man’ or a ‘no-fire man’?”

The others sounded as annoyed by the comment as Alice felt. They said, “Shh!” and “Quiet!” and “Let her finish!” and “She can read!”

The elder said, “Just replace the word ‘fire man’ with ‘Rabbit’. Please. Continue.”

Alice nodded to herself. “Well, the fire… Rabbit went to the window and shouted down to the other…rabbits. He called out to them, ‘There’s a lady trapped up here, but we’re out of harm’s way for now. We’ll wait for you to put out the fire and come get us,’ He turned to the lady and was startled to see she was his high school sweetheart Sarah. Not only was he surprised to see this woman he had loved just a few years ago, before she had left town to go to university, but he was also surprised at how beautiful she still was. Even more than he remembered. She wore a white blouse with powder blue buttons and a navy blue skirt. ‘Rabbit,’ Sarah said, for she had recognized him, too. ‘This is an odd place for a reunion date, don’t you think?’ She tried to smile, but Rabbit saw the worry in her eyes. ‘Don’t worry, Sarah,’ Rabbit said. ‘Help is on its way and afterwards I’ll show you a reunion date you’ll never forget. Meanwhile, we got to keep the door closed and the smoke out.’ Rabbit closed the door. Sarah said, ‘Oh, Rabbit! I’m so scared!’ She hugged him tight, pressing her breasts into his chest. Then she laughed, saying, ‘You know what? I’ve always had a fantasy of being stuck in a room with a firem-…a rabbit.’ Rabbit looked down at her in his arms. Her white blouse was unbuttoned to the lace of her bra. And-”

“What’s a ‘bra’?”

If Alice wasn’t mistaken, the voice sounded like it came from the same guy who interrupted her before. She waited for the others to tell him to shut up, but no one seemed to protest his question.

“You know,” Alice said, keeping her eyes averted from their busy hands. “The garment that holds up a woman’s…breasts.”

“Are you wearing a ‘bra’?” another asked.

Alice pursed her lips. “Yes.”

Voices called out. “Show us!” and “Yes! Show us!” and “I want to see what one looks like!” and “She reads quite well!”

“No!” Alice laughed.

“Please?” and “Pretty please with a cherry on top?” and “Quiet, Fox! You don’t even know what a cherry is!” and “Pretty sure it’s a writing implement!”

Alice thought about how odd her refusal was. Here they were, naked all day every day, and she was embarrassed to show them the equivalent of a bathing suit top?

“Fine,” Alice said, still not looking at them. She took off her white apron by reaching behind her waist and neck to untie the lace. After setting the apron on the ground, she pulled the puffed, blue sleeves of her dress down below her breasts. “This is a bra.”

“Thank you,” the elder’s voice said. “Please. Continue.”