Sadie Allison: Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing

2 cups fresh squeezed orange juice

6 hulled strawberries

¼ cup blueberries

I cup peaches, sliced

I banana

I tsp. powdered sugar

4 ice cubes

Blender on high.

Down the hatch.

Enjoy love juice tonight.

I’m going to clue you in on sexual techniques so powerful, I can’t believe so many smart, savvy women miss them. What’s more, any woman who tries them will instantly have her guy eating out of her hand.

Here they are.

Almost every guy’s penis reacts like it’s hardwired directly to two of the most potent parts of his anatomy: his eyes and his ears.

Lusty visuals and sexy sounds will instantly amp up your guy’s desire for you. Way up. If your sexual encounters now tend to be hush-hush affairs cast in a dull light, you’ll be amazed at the transformation you’re about to discover in both of you!

Over the next several pages, you’re going to see how to light up his brain circuits with sights and sounds till they’re smoldering hot. Half the fun will be watching his new erotic reactions to you—the other half will simply be enjoying your own.

It isn’t necessary to go all out with expensive flowers, exotic bedspreads and antique candelabras—unless you want to. What really matters is creating a comfortable setting that helps the two of you feel sexy, confident and good about yourselves.

Setting the sexy scene mostly means making sure your environment is sex-ready. So pack off the kids. Ship off the roommates. Clear off the bed. And set out the apparel, lubricant, toys, condoms and bubblebath for later.

Stuck at work? Tell the boss you need some time off (for bad behavior!). If there’s an hour to spare, try to get in an energy-boosting workout—but leave enough time to bathe, shave, file your nails and apply your makeup.

Do you know why certain recipes instruct you to simmer rather than boil? Slow cooking gets juices flowing.

Since you’re already planning to devour him, why not preset his dial to ‘simmer’—as you sear some wicked temptations into his brain. It’s easy—pick any two:

Surprise him with a deep, smoldering kiss before he leaves for the day. Look flirtatiously into his eyes. Offer no further explanation.

Record a flirty ‘hint’ on his voicemail, or text-message him with a few suggestions about what’s in store for him.

The best laid plans.Before sending him your flirtatious signals, make certain you’re not about to go up against work deadlines, an unbreakable commitment or Game Seven of the World Series.

Place a heart-pumping call to his cellphone at a moment you know he can’t possibly return your flirtations.

Send him an email entitled “Your Appointment” and attach a naughty digital picture that the two of you took together. But beware of company-monitored emails!

Place a naughty note in his lunch-bag or jacket pocket or sneak a pair of your perfumed panties in his briefcase.

A few extra touches now can lead to lots of sexy touching later:

Lighting.Set out candles for a soft romantic glow that can also help ease any self-consciousness. Place them far enough away where they can’t be tipped over in the heat of passion.

Tunes.Pre-load your perfect mood music in the CD or MP3 player.Then simply press play when the moment’s right.

Scent.Try a light lavender spritz, scented candles or incense to create a magical scent in the room.

Food.If a romantic meal is on the menu, forgo heavy dishes that weigh you down, and gassy foods that bloat you up.

Bath Prep.If waterplay is in the picture, draw a bubblebath or ready the shower. Set out a fresh loofah, sensually scented gels and the waterproof vibrator.

What’s the dirtiest thing you ever moaned during sex? If “the lampshade needs dusting” ever crossed your lips, here’s a better way to open the pipeline directly into his pleasure center: erotic talking.

Things your guy LOVES to hear.These phrases are going to sound awfully silly if you’re reading this in a store. But they’re going to sound awfully hot when you say any one of these to your guy in the heat of passion.

Does that feel good, baby?

Do you like when I touch myself here?

I’ll do anything for you.

I love your dick in my mouth.

Your touch makes me so hot

Do you want it faster, softer, tighter…?

You make me so wet

Please come all over me.

You feel so good inside me.

Mmmmm, you taste good.

Remember:if you’re feeling it, say it. Keep it short and breathy. How you say it can be just as important as what you say.And be sure to say the sexiest thing of all: his name.

If talking during sex is new to you—or you feel a bit self-conscious-remember that it’s perfectly okay because everything you say is just between the two of you. Once you break the sound barrier, you’ll discover that dirty talk can be truly liberating. More than just a big turn-on—you also find out what each of you likes.