Sadie Allison - Tickle His Pickle - Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing

The English language has more vivid words for sex than just about any other topic. But as you’ve probably noticed, most of the politically correct words for sex also drain the joy right out of it

“OH GOD EJACULATE INSIDE ME!” sounds a bit too dorky. And “CUM” is a bit too porny. So I’ve tried to select words for this book that you might say in quiet conversation with your closest friends, and in the heat of passion with your lover.

You’ll also notice that my nouns and verbs get hotter as the action gets hotter. Just like yours can, too!

A handjob and a blowjob shouldn’t be a job.They should be a pleasure, as well as erotic, sensual, fun and fulfilling. They’re the ultimate bond, and if they aren’t currently part of your repertoire, or have somehow dropped out of your routine, I’m here to help you find fresh inspiration.

So lend me your ears—as well as your hands and mouth!

Why not check with your best friends and see what they know about the subject. Set up a Sex and the City lunch date! You know: finger food, cosmopolitans and people-watching-with three of your closest girlfriends. And bring this book! By the second cosmo, you’ll learn exactly what your friends and their guys love doing behind closed doors (and in wide-open spaces!).

It’s a good way to remind yourself what a wonderful pleasure we’ve all been given to enjoy. Not wicked. Not a sin. But oh so wickedly sinful!

Come say hello to someone eager to meet you. He was attracted to you from the very first instant he saw you. And now he’s bursting to get to know you better—inside and out!

Meet the penis, your living sex toy.

Some women see the penis as a work of art. Others just see it as work. How about you? Everyone can acquire tastes for things they may not appreciate fully at first, like fine wine, spinach, sushi-and penis!

With a fresh look at the penis, you can start enjoying new pleasures beyond your wildest imagination—both giving and receiving.You may even have a totally transforming life experience, especially when the lubricant is love.

So come with me on a fun, enjoyable tip-to-testicles tour. I’ll show you all the places of interest, pleasure zones, trigger points—and how YOU can get a standing ovation for your reignited energy, creativity and enthusiasm.

Penises are fascinating—and fun to play with! And just like vaginas, penises have infinite variations in size, color and shape.

Some are big, some are small, and some will surprise you by how big they become. Some are one shade. Others are two. Some get stiff and point to the sky. Others aim at your toes. Some have big heads. Others are knee-slappers. A few swivel around like human joysticks. Others veer to one side. A handful curve up like bananas. Others are straight as arrows. Many are circumcised. And all the rest are not.

The average penis in the USA today measures between 2 to 4 inches soft, and 5 to 7 inches erect, with an erect shaft girth (circumference) of about 4 to 5 inches—all engineered by nature for your pleasure, comfort and satisfaction.

Glans(“Head”) The top part of the penis that’s designed for penetration—and pleasure. (glanz)

Frenulum(“V-Spot”) The ultra-sensitive skin that forms a “V” on the underside of the penis, between the head and shaft. (FREN-you-lum)

Corona(“Ridge”) The tender ridge that encircles the base of the head where it meets the shaft. (ko.ROW.nah)

Meatus(“Peehole”) These two tiny lips at the tip of the head are the very tip of the urethra, the tube that brings his come and pee to the outside. (me.A.tus)

ShaftThe longneck of the penis, from the corona to the scrotum.

Prepuce(“Foreskin”) The loose hood of skin that covers the head of the penis on an uncircumcised man. (PRE. puce)

Tender SpotThe sensitive area where the bottom of the shaft connects to the scrotum.

Scrotum(“Sack”) The soft wrinkly pouch that holds the testicles. (SKRO·tum)

Testicles(“Balls”) The two round glands that produce the sperm. (TES-tickles)

Ball SeamThe vertical line along the middle of the scrotum.

Prostate(“Male G-Spot” or “P-Spot”) The muscular gland that creates slippery fluid for the semen—also a potent pleasure zone. (PROS-tate)

Pubococcygeus Muscle(“PC Muscle”) The muscle that encircles the base of the penis and the anus, that pulses involuntarily at orgasm. (PYOO·bo·cock·SID·jee·us)

Perineum(“Taint”) The nerve-ending-rich area of skin between the anus and testicles. (per·IN·eum)

Anus(“Butthole”) The nerve-ending-rich opening at the very end of the rectum. (AYonus)

RectumThe pleasure zone just beyond the anus that responds to pressure. (REK·tum)

If you look up “penis” in the average dictionary, here’s what you’ll find:

The external male organ of copulation that in mammals (including humans) is usually used to expel urine from the body.

Yuck! Who’s going to put THAT near their mouth! But why is this fun, sensual, erotic plaything so often described with tongue-twisting clinical terms and pictured with scary medical illustrations?

Perhaps you’ll find this definition from Sadie’s Dictionary a tad more inviting:

The male love muscle designed to give you the most intensely satisfying gift in the world—orgasms. Your sensual playground to please your lover with extreme sexual pleasure.

Ahhh.Now bring that penis over here, baby!

Whether or not they get to keep it, every baby boy is born with a foreskin—the small hood of skin that covers the head of the penis. Usually for religious or cultural reasons, parents choose to have their baby’s foreskin surgically removed shortly after birth. This is called circumcision, and it doesn’t reduce penis size, thankfully. In the USA, about 60 percent of newborn males are now circumcised—compared to approximately 15 percent worldwide.

The foreskin actually serves several purposes: it acts like a rolling bearing during intercourse, keeps the head of the penis soft, moist and protected, retains the pheromone sex scent and can give pleasure to both partners during sex. Since foreskins come in varying lengths, some will be visible but most will stretch and “disappear” during erections.