Violet Blue - The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio - How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure

• With softened lips, kiss it directly, over and over.

• Press your flattened tongue against the opening and hold it, then slowly start to move it in up and down, or give him an in-and-out massage.

• With the very tip of your tongue, lightly lick in a ring around the rim of the opening—“rimming” him.

You can start with one of these and then try them all out to see what he likes. When you find something that makes him moan, groan, and push his butt in your face, stay with it for a few minutes. Gradually, work your tongue into a rhythm with a short, firm lick. Continue the beat for a while: this should get him pretty aroused. If you decide you want to go a step further, begin darting your tongue in as you lick, graduating to what’s called “tongue-fucking.” Moan your appreciation and see how he responds—moaning vibrates your tongue and simulates a vibrator. When you want him to explode, slide a lubed hand onto his cock and jack him off while you lick—there’s no sensation in the world like it.

A man with lower back pain or mobility issues can simulate the doggie position by lying on his stomach with pillows under his hips, comfortably raising his butt for optimal licking. Having him lie stomach-up with pillows under his butt is also an option, though you have to spread his legs quite wide for access. In this position, placing pillows under his knees can help ease strain on his back. Lying sideways may be comfortable, too; he’ll want to put a pillow between his legs for the lower back, and the pillow will also serve to keep his legs slightly spread—though he may eventually end up on his stomach as you pull his cheeks apart.

Cleanliness is often the number one concern for would-be rimmers and rim-ees alike. Taking a nice long shower or bath beforehand is always recommended, and you can bathe together to make it part of the seduction. If your partner is reluctant because of cleanliness issues, begin rimming in the shower, where you’ll both make everything squeaky-clean. Men who are comfortable with enemas can have one before showering and know they’re clean from the inside out.

Flavored lubricants are an option for people who want to try rimming but shudder at the notion of tasting their lover’s natural flavors, though they come with several caveats. Flavored lubes taste awful, even the lime, kiwi, or piña colada versions. Because they’re packed with sugar, they are not an option for diabetics or other people who don’t tolerate the effects of sugar well. But they do their job to some extent, transforming the eager anus into an artificial-raspberry-smelling orifice. Just be sure to never, ever purchase lubes that advertise “anal ease.” Most lubes sold specifically for anal use contain large amounts of numbing agents, such as benzocane, which diminish sensation and will leave you with a numb tongue. They’re manufactured by an industry that believes anal penetration of any kind is painful—when in reality, anal penetration isn’t painful if you do it right. If it hurts, then something’s wrong, and you don’t want to mask important signals the body might be trying to send. Besides, who wants a numb butt?

Though rimming is certainly enjoyable, it isn’t a very safe activity. Unprotected, it can transmit hepatitis A, anal herpes, anal warts, and possibly viruses such as HIV. Always use a barrier for rimming—but if you insist on barrier-free rimming, get a hepatitis A shot. If one of you has a viral STD, such as herpes, HPV, hepatitis C, or HIV, safer-sex practices are necessary—required—to prevent transmission, especially if you have a cut or bite in your mouth. Risk is greatly increased for both partners if you have recently brushed or flossed your teeth; both activities cause tiny cuts and bleeding in your mouth. For information on barriers for rimming and details on safer-sex practices , see chapter 4, “Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations.”

Touching your partner in specific areas while you’re going down on him releases blocked sexual tension, increases his excitement and blood flow to the genital area, and can make orgasm much more powerful than usual. Several centuries ago, Chinese doctors concluded that certain points in the body held muscular tension that could accumulate and block the normal flow of circulation of energy. These acupuncture or acupressure points corresponded physically to medical ailments, and the doctors discovered that releasing tension through pressure on the blocked areas was medically therapeutic. They also discovered a range of erotic techniques.

Pressing acupressure points acts like a concentrated massage, releasing muscular tension and toxins held in the muscle, allowing blood and sensation to flow freely to the area. Increased circulation means increased feeling and responsiveness, which adds new dimensions of pleasure to fellatio.

You can activate pressure points by touching them in various ways—kissing, licking, caressing, sucking, kneading, and massaging—but the most effective way to employ them is to hold the point (or points) firmly with the pads of your fingers. Some points are more sensitive than others; you should avoid pressing directly on the high ridges of bones. Your nails should be short, and you should apply a gradual, slow, and direct pressure. If the skin is pulling, lift up and reapply pressure directly to the point, as if you were pressing straight in. Hold each point for no more than five minutes at a time, and encourage him to breathe deeply as you press. Incorporate them at any stage during oral sex.

Three points are located on the mons at the top edge of the pubic bone, in the center. Pressing them produces a warm, pleasant sensation and focuses energy and awareness on the entire genital system. This is great for helping him concentrate on arousal.

You can apply pressure directly on the perineum to make orgasms more intense. This increases blood flow to the genital area and is beneficial to all reproductive and pleasure organs.

On the inside of the upper thigh, right at the crease where the thigh meets the body in front, are six points that heighten pleasurable sensitivity and awareness. They amplify any genital pleasure you are providing.

These additional points on the base of the spine increase pleasure during oral sex and can be added to your erotic pressure point repertoire.

In general, applying pressure to his perineum or genital area with the flat of your hand or flattened fingertips feels great, because you’re stimulating the entire system. You can also rub the mons while you suck, massage it in a circular motion, press it, or gently pull on it. Using genital massage techniques to begin or end a sexual activity, or to transition to another one, can turn a session of sex into a decadent encounter—use your imagination and these points as your guide.

The sensations of heat and cold are remarkable in oral sex. Imagine a hot, wet mouth enveloping your genitals, licking and squeezing and radiating heat. Or a cool mouth caressing and rubbing you when you’re so hot you’re already at the melting point. That’s the idea—using heat and coolness to prolong and increase arousal, or to turn up temperatures that are already in the triple digits.