Violet Blue - The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio - How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure

Going down on your lover involves more than just putting a penis in your mouth. Giving a memorable blow job includes kissing, nibbling, licking, sucking, and caressing his entire genital area throughout the whole encounter, especially at the beginning.

It stands to reason that if you’re going to be putting your sweetie’s most sensitive organ in your mouth, you will want to do a little practicing and experimentation on your own first. The mouth is capable of delivering a wide variety of sensations, but you can’t know how your own mouth feels unless you try out some techniques on yourself.

An organ of speech, digestion, and recreation, the tongue is a cleverly encased little package of muscle tissue, glands, fatty cells, and sensitive nerves. A mucous membrane, or mucosa, covers it, while the top surface, or dorsum, contains taste buds sensitive to touch and flavors, and serous glands that secrete some of the fluids in saliva. According to Paul Joannides in The Guide to Getting It On! we create and swallow saliva at the amazing rate of ten thousand gallons in a lifetime. Nerves leading from the tongue are stimulated by taste buds that react with chemicals in anything moist. The brain interprets these nervous impulses as sensations of feeling and taste. The total flavor of anything we put in our mouth comes from the combination of taste, smell, touch, texture or consistency, and temperature sensations. The tongue, with its thousands of nerve endings, talks of sweet chocolate pleasures, shouts pain when we bite it, and quietly whispers messages of erotic impulse to our big brain, all on its own.

Our lips and mouth are controlled by hundreds of muscles, always in motion, seemingly never at rest as we laugh, smile, frown, unconsciously clench our jaw, or suck on our tongue. This busy network of muscular filigree allows us to slacken our jaw, wiggle or undulate our tongue, or make the insides of the mouth into a means of suction that can draw a milkshake through a straw or give a penis pleasure. The strokes, licks, and combinations of suction that you’ll want to incorporate into your oral arsenal are best first tried on you—or rather, your fingers.

First, wash your hands. Then, using the sensitive hollow of your palm, see how your lips feel grazing, nuzzling, and kissing your hand. Don’t worry about how you look; just concentrate on how it feels, because it is similar to how your lover will feel when you do the same to him. Press your flattened tongue against your palm, and vary the pressure. Give your hand a long, slow lick, and repeat with several licks in different combinations: flat tongue, pointy tongue, soft tongue, flickers, caresses, firm strokes, writing your name. These strokes and licks can be repeated on the shaft of his cock, his testicles, and his anus and perineum. You’ll notice your tongue dry out, then magically rewet itself, and you may find yourself making a lot of spit. This is what will happen when you go down on him, and the extra saliva serves as a helpful and desirable lubricant during head.

Hold your index and middle finger together, and holding them stiffly, caress the opening of your lips with your fingertips, as if your fingertips were the tip of your lover’s penis. Slip them in slowly, feeling the wetness and heat of your own mouth. Next, try holding your mouth open with your tongue flattened inside, and gently thrust your fingers along the top of your tongue. It feels amazingly smooth and warm, and this is what he’s going to feel. Squeeze your lips shut around your fingers, and experiment with suction. Move your fingers in and out, and feel your tongue move around on them, testing the way the tip, middle, and edges of your tongue feel. Increase and decrease the suction. Contract your throat muscles, and see how that feels. Hum, and see how it vibrates your fingers. Men like to have their penises licked and sucked to varying degrees, so it’s good for you to know the difference between a little and a lot of suction. If you have a willing partner, you can find out how much he likes by having him suck your fingers the way he might want his penis sucked, and you can reproduce the suction to his satisfaction on his fingers to get it at the level he likes—and to make him really aroused in the process.

The head of my cock was so sensitive that I gasped as her tongue ring and lip ring ran over it.

Do you have a pierced tongue? If so, you’ll want to use your piercing to perform sensation experiments in the hollow of your hand. Moisten the most sensitive part of your palm, and see how it feels when you use your piercing to rub, massage, press, or tickle your hand. Familiarize yourself with pressure and sensation variations to get an idea of what your partner might feel when you run the piercing over the head or along the underside of his cock.

When with a new partner, experiment slowly and gently at first, and plot your actions by his responses. If he doesn’t seem to like it, stop—but I encourage you to ask him what he thinks whenever possible, because there’s guessing… and then there’s knowing.

Experimenting with the way your mouth feels is important, but equally important in learning to give great head is setting aside some time to practice on your own. Practice oral sex on your own? Why, of course! You can get two of your own fingers in your mouth with ease, but penises are a whole different size and shape, and you don’t have control over their firmness. Practice wrapping your mouth around a dildo, a penis-shaped sex toy, or a vegetable such as a peeled carrot, cucumber, or zucchini—do not attempt to “deep throat” any of these items, however, as a vegetable or slender sex toy could get lodged in your throat. (A dildo with a wide base would be fine, of course, since the base would prevent the entire toy from slipping into your mouth.) When you shop for the lucky nonhuman subject for your experimentations, be sure to select something as close as possible to the size of the penis belonging to your intended human subject. It’s fine to practice on bigger ones later, but if you’re just starting out, you’ll want to begin with a comfortable size, or at least something close to the size of the penis you’ll be going down on.

When you find a “stunt cock” you feel comfortable with, practice on it the way you would on a penis. If you’re going to be giving head to a strap-on dildo, getting a copy of the one your lover will be wearing will help you practice your technique. Either way, experimenting with the feel of a penis-shaped object in your mouth will help you get used to having something of that size and girth filling your oral cavity. And if gagging is a major concern of yours, you can see what your comfort threshold is, or play around by pushing it and learning to tame your gag reflex. Read more on the gag reflex in chapter 7, “Giving Head.” The more orally adventurous might want to try masturbating while practicing giving head—for a number of reasons. Becoming aroused when you practice will eroticize the act of fellatio, which can facilitate the incorporation of a new erotic behavior into your routine, especially if you feel reluctant. Also, as we become aroused and more turned on, our gag reflex lessens, and that can be interesting to experiment with. And finally, if you plan on masturbating or having an orgasm while going down, you can play around with your levels of concentration, varying your focus between yourself and your (potential) partner. But honestly, good luck staying focused on the dildo in your mouth when you come—though it can be fun trying .

My boyfriend never liked getting head before, but now he does. He loves how I look at him when I do it, and he goes crazy when I act like I can’t get enough of sucking his cock—which is true.