Joseph Matt - Cam Boy

The remainder of the photo shoot went just as well as the first half indoors had, and working alongside Matt, we were able to get some really edgy looking shots together – even if at times it meant my rear end was exposed to passers by and my nipples got erect in the cold!

I can’t wait to work with Matt again some time in the future. I’ve collaborated with a few photographers since, but out of all of them, he really knew how to get the best out of me. Quick and efficient, he really does have an eye for capturing the perfect shot and is a true professional in every sense of the word.

I was leaving the photo shoot on a high, but it was a sad time for me because it meant I’d also be heading back home to Monmouthshire and saying goodbye to both Jess and Mobeen, who had been by my side the entire time. It was somewhat bizarre to think that we’d only known each other for a matter of days – but even in that short time, working so closely together, they really did feel like family to me.

I’d left London before in many states, few of which I’m proud of – but this time, sitting on the train as it departed from Paddington, I felt just like any other passenger. I wasn’t coming down from a heavy meth binge, nor was I dreadfully hung over or sleep deprived. Though I’d cursed and moaned when my alarm went off that morning, and was nervous that I didn’t have it in me to take a good photo, that Sunday truly was the best day on-set. All the stress of being a part of the documentary was over with, and now I could finally relax.

Returning back home to Monmouthshire after such a hectic time with Jess and Mobeen was like stepping off of a rollercoaster going 100 miles per hour. Although I’d often moaned about the early starts and the amount of scenes that I was required to participate in for the shoot, without someone to hold me to a schedule I almost felt a little bit lost.

I do remember enjoying the freedom though when I first returned to camming a few days after settling back down. There were no pre-performance nerves whatsoever. Instead I was just happy to chat with my regulars, have some fun, and be able to set my laptop up where I wanted it – really making the most of all the space in the room, and not just one small area of it. It truly made me fall in love with and appreciate camming all over again.

It was late Decemberand that meant Christmas was fast approaching, followed by my 23 rdbirthday on the 6 thJanuary and then my mums 60 thon the 10 th.

For my mum’s birthday (as it was such a big milestone in her life), we hired a table at a local Indian restaurant with a great reputation, and had her show up under false pretences for a big surprise party! All of our close family who were able to make it were there – my dad, my brother, his girlfriend April, my Nana Edythe and a few of my mum’s dearest friends from work. It was a wonderful evening.

On top of all that there was lots more cause for celebration – my brother James was due to be a dad in May, and April’s bump was growing bigger and bigger each time that I saw them! It really was a special time for the two of them – their first child together, and naturally I was thrilled for them both, as were the rest of the family.

With all of the family celebrations going on, the whole experience of taking part in ‘ Webcam Boys’ seemed almost like a distant memory already. That was, until the show had an official broadcast date, February 3 rd, and TV guides began to promote it. I was first made aware of it when Paige had tagged me in a Facebook post with an accompanying photograph (one from the Matt Spike photo shoot) followed by a short summary of the upcoming show in ‘ What’s on TV’.

It read…

‘ A growing look at the webcam sex industry, following Joseph (pictured) and three other men as they attempt to earn a living in this billion-pound business.’

It was closely followed by more magazine summaries (though they all said essentially the same thing), and a televised advert to promote BBC3’s ‘ One Click Away’season, which I was featured in, albeit in a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ little cameo.

I’d publicly outed myself as a webcam performer on Facebook a little while prior to all the promotion kicking in to gear, and though I’d set up a separate ‘fan page’ (or rather Steve had) under my camming username ‘ Jmatt93’, I would still occasionally share posts that I felt were relevant on my main account.

It was exciting to open magazines and see my picture in them, and so of course I was going to promote the show, despite having not yet seen it myself.

My brother and April were both friends with me on Facebook, as was my Nana Sylvia (my father’s mum), but I never made a point of hiding any of the posts from them.

They all led busy lives of their own, so I wasn’t sure how much they knew or had seen or heard themselves, but I’d certainly made no secret of my involvement in the documentary. And besides – after it aired people were going to be talking about it anyway, (for better or for worse) so what would be the point in trying to keep it concealed?

When February 3 rdfinally came around, I was a bundle of nerves and excitement, all rolled into one. ‘ Webcam Boys’ wasn’t set to air till 10pmin the evening, so I had the whole day to pace around the house in anticipation – trying to keep myself occupied with small menial tasks in the hope that time might pass by faster, but being unable to concentrate on any one of them for any significant amount of time.

At 1.15pm in the afternoon, I was caught off guard, when a lengthy Facebook message popped up from my Nana Sylvia…

‘You probably won’t like what I’m about to say to you, but I for one will not be watching you on TV tonight, as I am so ashamed of you! I know that you’re in to pain and power ( by this I think she’s referring to sadomasochism ) and there are lots of people who have the same perversion. I personally don’t like it but then again who am I to judge? I respect their choice so long as it doesn’t interfere in my life… but when it interferes in the life of a loved one I am very angry. I understand you need, and crave publicity at any cost. You certainly have no respect for your parents… and you like to give as much pain to your family for your pleasure – your mum, who holds your hand every time you fall and who spends all her life pondering to all your whims…. There are drug addicts in every walk of life that get by day by day in their own little world, but unfortunately you are also a publicity addict as well. This reflects on your family, and sadly can’t say friends as I honestly don’t think you have any true friends! As a grandson I love you, but as a person I don’t like you, I don’t think you even like yourself. Maybe one day it will sink in and you will grow up to be a likeable person, as it’s now I can’t foresee this, I only hope one day you will prove me wrong.’

After reading through all she had to say, I was, understandably in a state of distress and shock. As good as I am at times with written words, a Facebook response didn’t seem like nearly enough. I felt like the best thing to do would be to call her right away upon reading it, and hash things out over the phone. There was a lot she didn’t know (I hadn’t seen her in several years) and I felt that she was judging me far too harshly without being aware of a lot of the facts. That said, like anyone, she was entitled to her opinion and had raised a few fair points. I just thought the whole tone of her message was scathing and callous.