Michael Alan - From Virgin to He-Whore - The Butterfly Effect

I finally mentioned my belief that the naked human body is not immoral and more extensive knowledge of the opposite sex would help solve many of the world’s evils.

Sister Mary seemed slightly shocked but impressed when I’d finished.

She continued, “Would you be willing to attend a meeting I am having with some of the senior staff to discuss a special project I wish to instigate in the convent. I’d appreciate it if you could join us here in my office later this afternoon after school has finished.” I was still a little stunned, but managed to present a controlled exterior and agreed to her request.

Many thoughts raced through my mind and I could feel the angst of being molested as a child re-surfacing. I had been comfortable sharing my nudity with young females in my age group, but here I might be asked to expose myself in front of older women who were my employers and who had control over my career. I could feel a sense of the ‘indignation’ boiling within, that I felt as a child from being defiled and used by an older woman, for her sexual titillation.

There was a duality of emotions surfacing. On one hand, I could sense the extrovert in me embracing this challenge. While on the other hand I felt uncomfortable with my nudity being used for the possible sensual indulgence of women, who had influence over my career.

I spent the next few hours with these thoughts racing through my brain and eventually rationality calmed my mind. I reasoned that this request did not imply exploitation. There was the implication of a higher motive.

Of course, I didn’t allow anyone to know of my personal internal debate. I was very good at presenting a different face to the world.

That afternoon, I returned to Sister Mary’s office and when I was invited to enter I noticed three other sisters, including Sister Frances, sitting in a row of chairs facing my entrance. After some inconsequential chatting, Sister Mary explained, “Some of our sisters have little experience with males. There are many misconceptions, which often lead to confusion, fear and misunderstanding of men. After much consultation and prayer I am proposing a unique project for our sisters here at the convent and hope you might be willing to assist.” After a brief pause to check my reactions, Sister Mary continued, “We would like you to be part of an educational panel assisting sisters to present a more rational view of many of these misconceptions? Also, it is anticipated, there may come a time during the course for our sisters to familiarize themselves with male nudity. Would you be willing to be part of this project, with the possibility that you may be requested to be nude at some stage?”

I must have looked a little stunned by this request, as Sister Frances added, “There is no expectation on you should you feel the least bit uncomfortable. We will be using other visual aids in this presentation and your input could be limited to just a male response to some of the questions and information.”

During the hours of introspection from when Sister Mary had asked me to attend this meeting, I had rationalized the possibility that I might be asked to be nude for this project, so was reasonably prepared for my response. Although, the words that came out of my mouth, weren’t as calm as they might be read here on this page.

After an initial hesitant stumble over words, I answered, “If it is considered appropriate for me to be nude for part of this project and everyone is suitably prepared for such a situation, I would be honoured to assist.” In my mind I saw this challenge as similar to that of a nude role in a live play on stage and I was well trained for such a performance.

Sister Mary said, “Thank you, we sincerely appreciate your indulgence with our unusual request!” She apologized if this had been uncomfortable for me, but she needed to complete that one last part of her ‘jigsaw’ to confirm its success and the choice of the right person for it – I had passed her test!

She then outlined the ‘project’ she was proposing and the necessity of my cooperation to be a naked model for the success of the course. “We would really appreciate your involvement!” Sister Mary entreated. I was totally intrigued and agreed.

This view of nudity by the Roman Catholic Church was confirmed just a few years later by, Pope John Paul IIwhen he expressed the Catholic Church’s attitude to the exposure of the human body in Love and Responsibility : “ The human body can remain nude and uncovered and preserve intact its splendour and its beauty… Nakedness as such is not to be equated with physical shamelessness… Immodesty is present only when nakedness plays a negative role with regard to the value of the person… The human body is not in itself shameful… Shamelessness (just like shame and modesty) is a function of the interior of a person .” [1] Wojtyla, Karol (1993). Love and Responsibility . Pauline Books & Media. ISBN 978-0-8198-4558-0 .

The ‘familiarisation’ sessions were to be held in the convent’s former groundkeeper’s house. This house was early federation in design and absolutely beautiful and lovingly restored and maintained by the nuns. It had a real ‘homely’ feel to each of the rooms, with open marble fireplaces and timber paneling.

So, two afternoons each week after school hours I was invited to initially address (and in later sessions, undress) for various groups of young nuns from the convent to help present a sexual awareness program. A vital part of the program was the desensitizing of the nuns to male nudity and sexuality.

I could thoroughly appreciate this belief. As a nudist I found after a full day of naked interaction with the opposite sex, my hormonal arousal levels were totally quiescent. Even as a young and constantly aroused teenager, after a day at the nudist club I found myself in total control of my sexual emotions and had little need for masturbation or sexual satisfaction. Sister Mary’s expectations for her convent sisters in this familiarization course would achieve the same outcomes for her young charges.

My co-presenters for the course included Sister Frances. She proved to be a vital component in the success of the course. Sister Frances had entered the convent as a mature inductee. She had been married for some time prior to becoming a nun, but lost her husband to cancer. I was to learn that she had also enjoyed many ‘radical’ sexual experiences prior to her marriage and had a very mature approach to sex.

We were joined by Sister Louise to form the instructional panel for the course. Sister Louise was a few years older than me, but had joined the convent fresh from school and was to supply much of the input of how many of the younger nuns might react to the various topics.

Prior to the commencement of the course, the three of us met many times to formulate its structure. The obvious religious topics would be well handled by my fellow instructors. However, I was concerned about what and how much of my personal intimacies would need to be exposed. Sister Frances was the ‘rock’ for these discussions. She was forthright and positive that any and every masculine reaction that occurred should be accepted and discussed as ‘normal’ and vital for the familiarization ethos of the course. She also had a ‘cheeky’ sense of humour, which was to prove invaluable in helping both myself and the younger nuns feel comfortable when the time for me to expose my nakedness.

The sessions were held in one of the cosy rooms and through the cooler months an open fire warmed the room. Everyone was seated in comfy armchairs. Initially most of the questions were innocuous and showed a real lack of understanding of both male and female sexuality. However, some nuns obviously had had some sexual experiences prior to joining the order. As lessons progressed their questions and experimentation grew more familiar and enthusiastic. Each lesson was preceded and concluded with suitable prayers and the sessions were treated with due reverence for the topic and respect for my involvement.