Michael Alan - From Virgin to He-Whore - The Butterfly Effect

That night I found it difficult to get to sleep. Not because I was aroused, but because my mind was confused by the girls’ reactions to the puppet show.

Up till this point in my life I still could not believe that a man’s body would arouse young women. However, when their cunts became wet it ‘aroused’ doubts in my mind. I had assumed I was simply using my ‘toys’ to create a humorous show to entertain them.

I became concerned that maybe I was fueling their fires with what they might interpret as an erotic display. “Was I doing this same thing throughout the college with my laissez-faire attitude to displaying my nudity in the college?”

All I had to fall back on was Sister Mary’s guidelines – ‘innocent, inoffensive or accidental nudity on my part or that of the girls would not be an issue of concern.’ Now, I wasn’t so sure my puppet show was appropriate for these young women.

I certainly intended it as ‘inoffensive’, but did they see it as ‘sexually provocative’ and if they did, was it causing them harm?

I labored this conundrum for most of the night as I tossed and turned in bed. In the end, I decided to carefully watch their actions over the next few weeks for a sign either way.

During our next honours lesson, Carly asked if I’d mind if they came up to the nudist club again the next weekend. I told them I had thoroughly enjoyed their company and of course it was OK. She then asked if I could pick her and Sue and Karen up, as Shelly and her family were going somewhere else that weekend.

I told Carly that if she and the others had permission from your parents for me to pick you up, then I would. The next day they all brought permission notes from their parents, although I doubted they’d shared with their parents all the details of our time together the previous weekend.

This was of benefit for me also, as I could get to meet their parents and convince myself that they knew what their daughters were doing and with whom. I was sure that their parents would have been equally happy to meet me and satisfy their concerns that their daughters were in good care.

So, over the remainder of the summer months, I spent many Sundays with these girls sharing and enjoying the freedom and sensuality of nudism. We developed a unique understanding and intimacy between us. There was absolutely nothing they wouldn’t ask or show me during our lazy chats in the sun and around the pool.

I was eventually convinced that our shared nudity and my puppet show had been totally OK. These girls were very mature young women. From this point on though I was extremely careful with whom I became ‘familiar’ with from the student body.

Knowledge of the large group ‘pastoral care’ lesson at the religious retreat did make it to the ears of Sister Mary. Although a Catholic nun she was also very liberal in her thinking. She had experienced the outside world prior to her entry to this religious order and was ‘worldly’. This was the era following Vatican 2 and the opening of the Roman Catholic Church to new ideas and concepts. The Church was battling criticism of its stand on contraception and celibacy of nuns and priests. There was also much concern within the Roman Catholic Church at the diminishing numbers of initiates to the religious orders.

New ideas were sweeping the landscape of Catholicism. For most of the younger nuns, gone were the long flowing habits, replaced by more serviceable robes and lighter materials. Those nuns who were not part of the closed order, at this convent would wear casual ‘street clothes’ when out in public. Many of the new younger initiates came from an atmosphere of free love, the hippy generation and radical opinions. It was obvious to the casual observer, that unless the Church made some attempt to incorporate this liberalism into its rationale, then the religious orders were facing a doubtful future.

I reminded myself of my early discussions with Sister Mary that any innocent, inoffensive or accidental nudity on my part or that of the girls would not be an issue of concern, so long as I respected the appropriateness of each situation and genuine concern for the students’ education and their physical and emotional welfare.

Despite the common misconception the Catholic Church did not see nudity as a sin. A treatise by Pope John Paul 2 published a few years later confirmed that belief. My acquaintance with Father John, the Catholic Priest at Woodlands Nudist Club also gave me some comfort in this assurance.

I also recognized from our chats that Sister Mary was closely monitoring my behaviour in every school situation. In hindsight, I realised she wanted to assure herself of the indemnity of what she was about to propose. Her very brave and unique project would require just the right kind of man for it to succeed.

When she had learnt of my unique lesson to the large group gathering of girls at the religious retreat she called me to her office. I was nervous and anxious of what was to come. I wasn’t sure whether the ‘extra’ session had been discovered or whether there had been parental complaints about the group session. However, it seemed that each of the girls in that lesson on that day was totally full of praise for my honesty and openness. Four girls from that group attended my meeting with Sister Mary and they all agreed it was a personal decision by every girl to attend the pastoral care ‘lesson’ knowing full well what was to be ‘taught’. They also mentioned their disappointment when I had deferred the final part of the ‘lesson’ awaiting Sister Mary’s approval.

As they looked at Sister Mary, they offered a girlish giggle and said they hoped, that this approval would eventually be forthcoming from her. As the girls were all above the age of consent, and as each agreed they had gained valuable learning from their experience I was exonerated. Though Sister Mary did divulge that some parents weren’t happy and she had appeased their complaints by telling them that they would be consulted for any future pastoral care instruction.

After the girls had left Sister Mary’s office I sat and chatted with her about my reasoning and the temptations that had passed through me. I questioned the appropriateness of agreeing to genuine requests if ever placed in that position again. Sister Mary was a little evasive in answering this question, so I didn’t press her for a resolution. I also emphasised my overpowering resolution that I would never take advantage of my position of trust and have sexual intercourse with any student. We discussed my experiences with other young females at nudist clubs and it was during this discussion that I happened to mention Father John’s name and the fact that I had met a few priests, both Catholic and Anglican at my nudist club.

The next day, Sister Mary again called me to her office. I assumed this was to be when I would be castigated!

I was stunned by what was to be my ‘punishment’!

She said she had given some thought to my actions at the religious retreat and had an unusual request for me. As it eventuated, Father John, whom I had met at Woodlands Nudist club a few years prior, had been the diocesan priest for the college a few years earlier and had regularly conducted Mass for the college and the convent. Nudity was not an uncommon practice at the convent and as I was to learn many of the nuns often sunbathed nude at an outdoor recreation area on the roof of the convent.

The complex of which the college was part, included a major convent building, school buildings and grounds and a large boarding school for 300 country students who attended the college.

So in addition to the 20 nuns who worked as teachers in the school, there were many other nuns who worked in the boarding school, all of whom resided in the convent. Apparently, many of the younger nuns in the order had limited experience of the outside world. In my mathematics department at the college I had two nuns and an ex nun on my staff. Margarita, was the ex-nun! She had left the order to marry, but only a few years later had requested to be re-employed as a ‘lay’ teacher when her marriage broke down. She was treated poorly by her religious ‘sisters’ and would often break down in tears in our staffroom when just the two of us were present and open up about her frustrations, both emotional and sexual.