Todd Strasser - Wish You Were Dead

“I mean, how completely freaky is that?” Courtney asked.

I was too distracted to answer. The police were looking for this person because they believed he had something to do with Lucy and Adam. But I’d gotten the note before Adam disappeared. Why would the person who left the note want to warn me ahead of time that my friends were in danger? It seemed like that would have been the last thing he’d want to do.

“Hello?” Courtney gave me a little wave. “Earth to Madison?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”

“Duh. So what did Tyler want before?”

It was an effort to drag my thoughts from one mystery to another. “Oh, I don’t know,” I said, feeling frustrated that he wasn’t in the cafeteria.

“Something wrong?”

I told her how I’d accused Tyler of lying when it wasn’t even me he’d lied to.

Courtney let out a “when will you learn?” sigh. “You don’t get guys to like you by accusing them of lying.”

Nodding woefully, I agreed. “I know. It was stupid.”

Courtney stared past me and her expression changed. Jen came out of the lunch line with Tabitha Madrigal and Cassandra Quinn and started toward us. “Look who’s bringing reinforcements,” Courtney muttered under her breath.

“Hi, girls,” Jen said cheerfully when she reached the table. “Okay if Tabitha and Cassy join us?”

I smiled and said hello to them, but Courtney was less enthusiastic. Not because she disliked the girls, but I imagined because she was irked by Jen’s blatant plan to step into the vacuum left by Lucy. As if Lucy was gone forever.

“So what do you think of the voluntary curfew?” Jen asked with a slight roll of the eyes to let us know what she thought of it.

I didn’t answer. Tyler had just entered the cafeteria. He took a seat by himself at a table near the window and opened a book. I purposefully didn’t stare, mostly because I didn’t want Jen to notice and start gossiping and spreading rumors about who I might be interested in. But then I felt Courtney’s elbow gently nudge my side.

“Be right back.” I got up and headed for the lunch line, then circled back toward Tyler’s table, hoping Jen wasn’t paying attention. Tyler was busy reading a book titled SERIAL KILLERS: The Method and Madness of Monsters .

I breathed deeply to calm my nerves and stood across from him until he looked up. He frowned, and then seemed to force an uncomfortable smile as he closed the book.

“No lunch?” I said.

“That’s what you came over here to say?” Tyler’s face was expressionless.

“No. I came to say I’m sorry. What you tell Dave is none of my business.”

Tyler blinked as if he was surprised. “Okay, thank you.”

I glanced back at my table where Jen was busy gabbing. She hadn’t noticed me standing across from Tyler, but she might soon. “Would you mind if I sat?”

“It’s a free country.”

I sat down and tapped the cover of the book. “Interesting reading.”

When Tyler nodded but didn’t reply, I began to feel even more uncomfortable. “Well, I just I wanted to say I was sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” I placed a hand on the table and started to get up.

“Don’t go,” he said. “What do you think is going on?”

“I wish I knew.” I nodded at the book. “That’s what you’re thinking?”

Tyler shrugged. “It’s just an interest of mine.”

“Serial killers? That’s not exactly in the same league as video games or fantasy sports. What’s so interesting?”

“I guess because they’re just so different. So outside the norm.”

“You like things like that, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t say I like it,” Tyler said. “Maybe I’d just like to understand it. It’s a lot more interesting than what’s inside the norm. Although, you’d probably disagree. You probably like the norm because it’s safe.”

He was baiting me again. Only this time, it was easy not to rise to the bait. “Not necessarily. Sometimes the norm can be pretty boring. But right now, anything safe sounds really good.”

Tyler nodded. “True that.”

It felt like the conversation was flowing more easily, and I was tempted to steer it toward the things I was curious about—Where was he from? Why had he moved here a month after school began? But before I could ask, a commotion began on the other side of the cafeteria. Voices rose in alarm. Heads began to turn and people stood to get a better look. A small crowd had bunched up, and a lunch monitor was telling people to move back. The cafeteria doors opened and Principal Edwards hurried in, followed a few moments later by the school nurse. More kids went to see what was going on, and now Principal Edwards’s voice joined the lunch monitor’s in telling everyone to move away. Some kids started back to their tables.

“What was it?” Tyler asked one of them.

“Looks like Maura fainted,” the kid said.

Gradually, except for the grown-ups and some kids around Maura, the cafeteria began to return to normal. Things briefly got exciting again when two paramedics arrived with a stretcher. But then the bell rang and Principal Edwards told everyone to go to class.

Thursday 9:00 A.M.

MAURA WASN’T IN school the next day. By Thursday morning, it seemed almost everybody had forgotten about the incident in the cafeteria and was once again focused on Lucy and Adam. But when I got to homeroom early and found Ms. Skelling marking papers, I decided to ask. “Have you heard anything about Maura?” Ms. Skelling looked up at me with a slightly astonished expression on her face. “Do you know that you’re the only one who’s asked?” The comment made me feel self-conscious. “I was just wondering. That’s all.” She hooked her thick red hair behind her ear. “You needn’t apologize. There’s nothing wrong with caring about someone who’s not in your crowd. She’s much better, thank you. I expect she’ll be back at school tomorrow.” “Okay, thanks.” I started to turn away.

“Madison?”

I stopped. “Yes?”

“You’re one of the few young people in this school with any manners.” “Well … it must be from my parents, you know?” I backed out of the room. “But thanks.” “You’re welcome,” she said, and looked back down at her papers.

During a free period in the afternoon, I went to the library to research a paper on Shakespeare’s tragedies. Dave was sitting on a couch, reading a National Geographic . He glanced up briefly, his eyes large behind his glasses.

“PBleeker?” I said.

His face went blank, then slowly formed a scowl. “Sorry?” “That doesn’t mean anything to you?”

“Should it?”

“Paulie Bleeker? From Juno?”

Dave’s lips parted into a smile. “Right. Sorry, I didn’t get it. So …?” Either he wasn’t PBleeker or he was a very good actor.

“I’m glad you brought the movie to Safe Rides the other night,” I said. “I’d forgotten how good it was.” “The best,” he agreed. “I mean, like, everybody knows it’s hard to be a teenager, right? And you think you’re the only one who feels that way even though you know that can’t be true. And then there’s that line where Juno says—” “ ‘I think you are the coolest person I’ve ever met. And you don’t even have to try,’ ” I quoted. “And Paulie says, ‘I try really hard, actually.’ ” Dave grinned. “You remembered!”

“You told me a few nights ago,” I reminded him.

“But I didn’t think you were listening.” He shrugged sheepishly.

“I was. It’s a great line. Do you really think it’s true?” “No—I mean, yes. It’s just that some of us, the harder we try, the less cool we are. The problem is, if we don’t try, we’re not cool, either. In fact, no matter what we do, we’re not cool.” I felt a smile grow on my face. “That’s funny.”