Jordan Belcher - Status

Quita Wheeler:One of my so-called “friends” came to my job once, trying to mack on me. I played his ass to the left. Get a life, fool.

Tyesha816:@Quita Wheeler. That’s what happened to me! A stalker showed up where I work-out at. He tried to make it look like he just so happened to show up at the same time as me. Needless to say, I blocked his ass.

Joanne Dunley:OMG!

Deja Michelle:when was this??!!

Tyesha816:Right after you left.

Fedbound Marley:I love all my stalkers!

When Fedbound Marley’s comment popped up, I laughed out loud and Kylie came and looked at my phone to see what was so funny. She saw it was reading involved so she went back to playing with her dolls.

I clicked Like on Marley’s post.

Then I scrolled to Rodrick’s page to see what was going on with him. At the top of his wall was a message that a guy named Kenneth C.r.e.a.m. posted about six minutes ago. I gasped as I read it. And dark anger began boiling inside me.

Immediately, I dialed his number and put the phone to my ear. It rang until it went to the voicemail. I called two more times and it did the same thing.

I called Gideon.

“Hello?”

“Are you with Rodrick?” I asked.

He hesitated. “Nah, I’m solo.”

“I really need to talk to him, Gideon. If he’s with you, put him on the phone.”

“I’m not with him. I’m serious. But he should be calling me in a couple minutes. What’s wrong?”

“When you talk to him, tell him to check his profile page as soon as possible. And after that, tell him I’m through playing his games.”

I hung up, tried to squeeze my phone until it broke. I looked up at the ceiling and took a breath, hoping my tears wouldn’t fall with my head back. I didn’t want to cry in front of Kylie. My instincts were screaming for me to go out in the streets and find Rodrick, give him the biggest ass kicking he ever received. But dinner would be ready soon and I know my mom would be pissed if me and Kylie left before eating.

I deleted the message Kenneth posted on my baby’s father’s page. The deletion would only effect my profile, though. Everybody on the Web who was friends with them would still be able to see the post, but at least I wouldn’t have to.

Kenneth C.r.e.a.m. > Rodrick Al-Bashir:Stay the fuck away from my baby momma’s house, nigga! Or I’ma beat yo ass AGAIN!

August 14 th, 5:30 p.m.

Ain’t nothin’ wrong wit’ lying a little bit on ya status update, Kenneth Murberry thought, as he read through his comments. I needed to get my point across .

The fact was he never beat up Rodrick Brown. But he did push him to the floor years ago in the high school cafeteria, and as Rodrick got to his feet security was there to keep them separated. They’d been arguing about who fucked Wendy Hartley first—who was now Kenneth’s baby’s momma—and when Rodrick turned and showed pictures of Wendy naked on his phone to everybody in the lunch room, Kenneth shoved him from behind.

He’d tried hard not to post anything on Rodrick’s profile. But enough was enough. The last straw was when he saw that Wendy clicked Like on the picture Rodrick uploaded of his daughter holding a stack of cash. He told her to stop commenting and Liking all his shit! It was her fault that he blasted him over the internet.

When his phone started ringing, he took his sweet time before answering.

“What the fuck is yo problem?” Wendy hollered.

“You know what my goddamn problem is. Get off Rodrick’s dick. I told yo goofy ass to stay off his fuckin’ profile.”

“I have!”

“I just saw you Liked the picture of his daughter.”

“So what? Everybody Liked it. I haven’t been commenting on his statuses like I used to.”

“I don’t want you Liking his shit either.”

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do? Take care of yo son and I might let you call some shots. And you act like I’m the only one that be Liking people’s statuses on The Site. You always comment and Like the same bitches’ pictures: Quita Wheeler, Angela youngandfly Serrano, Deja Michelle, Janice Tillot, Tyesha816, Christina MsFineGirl… need I name more? You Like all they pictures but haven’t Liked not one I’ve uploaded of yo son. And you talking about me on Rodrick… Did you know Tyesha is Rodrick’s baby momma?”

Of course I did.

“But I’m not fuckin’ her, though,” Kenneth said.

“I’m not fuckin’ Rodrick!” Wendy snapped.

“You can’t even lie right. I saw yo sister’s status, talking about she just got a bag of that Girl Scout Cookie Kush dropped off and she tagged you in the picture. Everybody knows Rodrick is one of the only niggas that sell that strand of weed in Kansas City. And if I’m not mistaken, yo sister still stays wit’ you. So I know he was over there.”

She sucked her teeth. “Just because somebody drops off some weed don’t mean I let him in. You better delete yo status before he sees it. I know you’re just trying to get attention. But you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

“Bitch, I am the tree.”

Kenneth hung up on her. Delete my status? Yeah, right.

Flicking his thumb against his screen, he scrolled down to the newest comments on his post.

Smitty Down4Whatever:LMAO! You a fool, bro!

Mitch tiredofballin Walker:If he didn’t get the picture before, I bet he do now! LOL!

Ed Capone:Don’t trip on that fuck nigga.

Kenneth C.r.e.a.m.:@Ed Capone--> Sometimes you gotta go on these niggas. They think just because they got a name and some money that gives them the right to fuck every bitch. But not mine, pussy muthafucka!

Ed Capone:I heard that. I already know you gone hog him out like you did in high school.

Kenneth C.r.e.a.m.:Nah. I let him off easy then. This time I’ma springboard clothesline his ass.

Ed Capone:LOL!

Kenneth C.r.e.a.m.:R U coming through?

Ed Capone:Yeah, as soon as my momma get back. You at the house, right?

Kenneth C.r.e.a.m.:Where else I’ma be?

Kenneth scanned through his newsfeed while he waited for Ed to show up. He saw Tyesha’s status about stalkers and his eyebrows furrowed. Was she talking about me? he wondered. He had Liked a few of her photos and commented on six or seven over the last couple of weeks but definitely not enough activity on her page to be labeled a stalker. Right? He wasn’t about to give himself a headache thinking about it. Women were crazy. If you Liked their statuses, you were a stalker; if you didn’t, you were a hater.

He hoped she saw his message he posted on Rodrick’s wall. That would surely get her juices going. If everything panned out like he wanted it to, her relationship status would revert back to “single,” and he’d post LMAO’s in Rodrick’s inbox for a week. Even though Kenneth had won Wendy in high school, he had always felt like Rodrick one-upped him by getting Tyesha Fenty pregnant. Tyesha was one of the sexiest—if not the sexiest—females in their graduating class.

Laying back on the couch and kicking his feet up on the arm rest, he scrolled through Tyesha’s endless photos to see if there were any new ones he hadn’t seen yet.

Until there was a knock at his door.

He looked through the peep hole and was startled by Ed’s fish eye. “Nigga, don’t scare me like that,” he said, as he flung the door open.