Tom Schreck - TKO

“You’re right. I need to back off,” I said.

“Promise me, you’ll stay away from the hero stuff,” Kelley said.

“Yeah, it doesn’t feel quite right but it makes sense. No more ‘Duffy for Hire.’”

“AJ, let me buy Duffy’s next Schlitz.”

Kelley didn’t buy my drinks very often.

I continued to train for my bout with Perryman. It wasn’t the real intense training you do to get in shape, it was the type of training you do to stay sharp and keep your engine tuned. It’s hard for people to understand, but more isn’t better when it comes to training. Probably the biggest problem you see with fighters is overtraining-that is, they do too much. Guys will try to work out their anxiety by pushing themselves extra hard, and come fight night they’ve left all their energy back in the gym. I’ve been around long enough to know not to do that.

My new spiky-haired promoter called Smitty and let him know that my bout was going on a card featured at the Altamont Fair. The fair is a big county to-do up the Thruway near Albany, and it drew a couple hundred thousand people every year for a week in August. I don’t know how he pulled it off, but he had a five-card show scheduled for the weekend and fairgoers would only have to pay an extra ten bucks on top of their fair admission to get in to the fights.

Big-time promoters could make things happen and make things happen quickly. The notoriety the Garden fight gave me was going to be short-lived, so he had to exploit it quickly. I didn’t mind; I was used to taking short-notice fights, and besides, Jerry Perryman was guaranteed to be as mediocre as it got. The Crawford newspaper, the Union Star, even did a profile of me and explained how the fight was a lead-in to the NABU title fight.

Newspaper stories covering my fights were few and far between. I almost never fought close to Crawford, and most of the time they never covered it. Now I was a human interest story because of my counselor job and my overnight success as a prizefighter. Never mind that the overnight success took fourteen years.

Meanwhile, Al was still making me nuts with all his running around the trailer. It had gotten to be an every-morning thing, maybe because Billy seemed to show up uninvited almost every morning to demonstrate a new way he could fall on his head. Al didn’t like the unannounced visits, so even when Billy didn’t come he’d bark and run around to ward off anyone who might show up. The bruises and welts on my shins from when Al would duck for cover just ahead of my grasp were piling up like the notches on a cowboy’s gun.

I called my old friend Jamal for some canine guidance. Jamal was a fighter who had hung up his gloves after a lackluster pro career and he also was in the Nation of Islam. That’s where he met Walanda, a client of mine who was murdered a while back. She was Al’s original master after he flunked out of the Nation’s bomb-sniffing canine program. It wasn’t that Al couldn’t sniff explosives-in fact, he was very good at it and even helped me uncover a terrorist aiming to drop a dirty bomb on Yankee Stadium last year. The problem with Al was that he was always shitting and pissing on everything and that didn’t go over too well with the bow-tied and righteous brothers.

I wanted Jamal’s recommendations for calming Al down. I got him on his cell.

“Hey Duff-I’m surprised you even talk to little people like me now that you’ve hit the big time,” Jamal said.

“Oh, I’m big all right,” I said.

“White guy with an Irish name-shit, you got it made as long as you keep winnin’. Who they got for you?”

“Some guy named Perryman from Arkansas.”

“Boy, they takin’ care of you, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess-hey, what do I do to get my short-legged Muslim brother to settle down? He’s making me nuts.”

“Shittin’ and pissin’, huh?”

“Actually, I’ve kind of gotten used to that. It’s the crazy running all around the house.”

“Take him tracking. Have him follow someone around or just take a walk without him and leave a hunk of food at the end of your walk. He loves to find where people went.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No, it’s what hounds are supposed to do.”

“So pretty much get lost and have him find me?”

“Duff, people been tellin’ you to get lost for years, haven’t they?”

“Yeah-I’ve never done it though.”

“No, Duff, no you haven’t.”

I thanked Jamal and figured, what the hell. I got Al’s leash, flopped his fat ass up on my Eldorado’s passenger seat, and drove him over to TC’s house. TC lived in a cushy suburb of Crawford known as Londonville, which bordered the industrial section, just a couple of miles from AJ’s. On the way over, Al started to whine because I was listening to the sports radio station. I know that whine and it was Al’s way of saying he wanted to hear Elvis sing “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” He was crazy about the tune and there was no use fighting it. If I didn’t throw in the Blue Hawaii eight-track, the whining would get unbearable.

Elvis just got past the “Wise men say…” part when Al settled in, let out a big sigh, and relaxed.

We got to TC’s house and his car wasn’t there, so I figured he wasn’t home, which was actually what I was hoping. I didn’t knock on the door, I just had Al sniff the lawn chair by the garage that TC sits in on those rare occasions that he’s home and not at AJ’s. Al started to sniff all over the chair like it was covered in sardines and then he looked up.

“Go find!” I said, just like Jamal told me to.

Al bolted along TC’s front lawn, nose to the ground like an anteater addicted to cocaine. He continued along the street, pausing at telephone poles and street signs to sniff their bases. Occasionally, he would pause and then run around in a circle like he was creating a whirlpool of scent for his nose. Then, he’d be back on the trail, working his ass off to the point that I had trouble holding on to him. He was definitely into smelling where TC went and he just wouldn’t let it go.

He was almost on a dead run for a half an hour and we covered the distance to AJ’s in no time. We were coming up on AJ’s when he abruptly stopped, squatted, and let go. Nature was taking its course, and Al finished up by proudly kicking gravel over his trophy before sprinting off for TC. In about ten minutes we were at AJ’s front door.

I opened the door up and Al bounded through with such vigor that I lost the hold on his leash. He darted for TC, who was saying something about the fact that when ducks quacked it didn’t echo, and Al went airborne and caught TC right in the nuts. The B amp;B left his hands and covered his shirt while Al started to lick his prey’s face.

“Ughhhhh!.. Duffy-I’m going to get dog-related AIDS…,” TC said.

“There’s our favorite basket hound,” Rocco said. Al was pushing his ample nose into TC’s face, licking and nibbling on TC’s ears.

“Dog likes B amp;B,” Jerry Number One said.

“Rocco-he’s a basset hound. We’ve been over this,” I said.

“That’s right, he’s French,” Jerry Number Two said.

“He’s a frog dog?” Rocco said.

“I didn’t think he could swim. Where do they put the tanks?” Jerry Number One said.

“What the hell are you talking about?” TC said, wiping slobbered B amp;B from his cheek.

“Frog dog-like, you know, like in the Navy. Don’t they use underwater bassoon hounds to sniff out explosives?” Jerry Number One asked.

“He can’t swim. Basset hounds have the densest bones of all dog breeds and they sink,” I said, having watched Animal Planet.

“Shitty frog dogs then, huh?” Jerry Number One said.