Janet Evanovich - Full Bloom

"My stomach doesn't feel so good," he whined.

"That's because you've introduced it to something other than booze," she said.

"I'm gonna be sick," he wailed.

"Stop it!" Annie said, feeling as though her nerves would snap. "I swear, Erdle, if you throw up I'm going to take Vera's gun and shoot you myself."

"You're a crazy lady," he said, leaning dangerously to one side. "And mean as hell to boot. That's how come I know you killed your husband. And all this time I been protecting you. Even buried the body so nobody would find out. Crazy and mean is what you are."

Several gasps filled the room as Erdle's head fell back and he began to topple. Annie shrieked but caught him before he hit the floor. Jamie hurried over to help her. Very gently, they laid him on the floor, and then they looked at each other.

"He's out cold," Jamie told her.

"Did you hear what he said!" Annie cried. "He said he buried Charles."

"I heard," Theenie said. "I think we should call Lamar."

Jamie shook her head. "Not yet. We need to try and get more information out of him." She paused. "Let's get him to the sink and stick his head under cold water."

"Here we go again," Destiny said as she hurried over to help.

Theenie and Lovelle cleared the sink and counter as the three younger women dragged the man over. Annie pushed his head into the sink and Theenie turned on the cold water full force. Erdle came up coughing and sputtering. "You're trying to kill me!" he said to Annie. "So I don't tell what I know."

"Erdle, you idiot!" she shouted. "I didn't kill Charles. This is the last time I'm going to tell you." He didn't look convinced. "Do I look like a murderer?" she demanded.

"Do I look like a grave digger?" he replied, water streaming down his face. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. Lovelle hurried away and reappeared with a bathroom towel. Annie dried his hair while the others held him up. Vera pulled a chair across the room, and Annie and Jamie lowered him onto it as Destiny shoved a cup of black coffee in his face.

"Drink," Annie said.

Erdle blew into it and cautiously took a sip.

Once Annie was sure he could sit up on his own, she released him. "Start talking, Erdle, and don't stop until you've told us everything."

His gaze went to Vera. "Is she going to shoot me?"

Vera planted her hands on her hips. "No, but I'll pistol-whip you if you don't start moving your jaws."

He gave a sigh and looked at Annie, his face beaded with sweat. "I saw him. Charles," he added. "He was laying at the foot of those stairs, deader'n all get-out."

"When did you see him?"

"Same day you left for your mama's. Act'ally, it was late that night."

"You told Lamar you were with your army buddy that weekend."

"I lost my keys and had to borrow his car so I could drive back and get my spare set. I keep them under the stairs to my place. My friend was passed out. He has a drinking problem, if you know what I mean."

"I think we can relate," Destiny said, giving an eye roll.

"Only reason I came in the house was 'cause the back door was standing wide open. Charles's car was in the driveway, so I figured I'd let him know in case somebody had broken in or something. I stepped inside the kitchen and turned on the lights and that's when I found him. He had a bad scratch on his face, so I thought—"

"You thought I'd scratched him and pushed him down the stairs," Annie finished for him.

His look was sheepish. "I reckon I wasn't thinking straight."

Annie wasn't interested in his apology at the moment. "Then what?"

"I dragged him out in the yard and buried him where I figured nobody would look. After I checked his pockets to see if he had anything important on him," he added. "Then I drove his car to the airport and hitched a ride back. When I arrived back at the motel some hours later, my friend was still passed out."

"What did you do with Charles's belongings?" Annie asked.

"I packed his bags and hid 'em. Raked leaves for two days once I came home. Burned his stuff with the leaves. Didn't find no money. Didn't know he'd hidden money in a hole in the closet."

"You're certain he was dead when you found him?" Jamie asked.

"Yep. Somebody smothered him. There was a pillow next to the body."

Annie closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"That's all I know," Erdle said.

Jamie rubbed Annie's back, obviously trying to comfort her. "You didn't see anyone else on the property?" Jamie asked.

Erdle shook his head. "I told you everything. Can I have a sandwich? I don't want no more of those cookies."

"I'll make it," Jamie said. "Annie, you sit down before you fall down."

"Would you like a glass of brandy?" Lovelle asked.

Annie shook her head and took a seat at the kitchen table. "I don't drink anymore."

Once Jamie had served Erdle, she made room for him at the table so he could eat his sandwich. "Why don't we go into the living room and give Erdle a few minutes to himself?" she suggested.

Vera pointed a manicured finger at Erdle. "You move, you die."

He nodded.

"Come on, dear," Theenie said, helping Annie from the chair.

Annie did as she was told, following the women, her arms and legs feeling weighted.

"Don't you think we'd better go ahead and call the police now?" Theenie asked Jamie.

Jamie shook her head. "I don't think Annie is in any position to speak to them at the moment."

Annie was glad Jamie was there to take charge of the situation, because her brain had shut down on her.

Lovelle glanced over her shoulder as if to make sure they were alone. "Does anyone happen to know if it's against the law to bury somebody who is already dead?"

"Of course it is," Vera said. "You can't just go around burying folks wherever it suits you. You probably have to buy some kind of permit."

Jamie looked thoughtful. "I hate to say it, but I think the murderer is still on the loose. I don't believe Donna Schaefer or Erdle put that pillow over Charles's face."

"That's what I'm thinking," Annie said.

"Annie, would you like for me to call Wes?" Theenie asked. "He always seems to know what to do."

She shook her head. "I don't want to have to explain about the ring what with all this other going on."

"I can solve that little problem," Destiny said. "Wal-Mart sells cubic zirconia rings that look like the real enchilada. I can probably find something similar to the ring Wes gave you. Trust me, he won't notice the difference."

Theenie nodded. "Good idea. We only have to fool Wes for six or eight hours. Until, well, you know."

"I won't be long," Destiny said, hurrying out.

"I'd like to discuss your, um, engagement when you're feeling better," Jamie told Annie.

"Don't worry; Wes is a good man," Theenie said. "I would have put up a fuss if I didn't think so. I need to have a little talk with Erdle. He's going to have to stay here tonight. It'd be best if he slept on a cot in my room so that when the time comes I'll be there. Remember, I was a nurse's aide," she added, not for the first time. "May I get you something, hon?" she asked Annie.

Annie shook her head. "I'll help you break the news to Erdle in case he gives you any problems."

The women returned to the kitchen. Theenie told Erdle the plan.

"I'm not sleeping under the same roof with a bunch of crazy women," he said, his eyes darting at Vera as though he feared she would whip out her pistol again.

"You are not going to leave this house until I get my ring back," Annie said. "I expect you to stick to Theenie like glue until you, um, deliver."

"I'll need a few items to ensure a successful and antiseptic retrieval," Theenie said.

"Say no more," Annie replied, hoping Theenie would not share. "Just take whatever you need."