Janet Evanovich - Full Scoop

"Our new pet," Zack said.

"That is too cool. Did you come to see the parade?" He didn't wait for an answer. "It's to honor Kenny Preston, the very first Elvis impersonator. He must be pretty important because the cops wouldn't let me get his autograph." Lonnie leaned closer. "The officer said he heard from someone in the know who heard from an unknown source who got it straight from the horse's mouth that the rhinestones on Mr. Preston's outfit are real diamonds." Lonnie gave a huge eye roll. "Can you e-magine what that sucker must be worth?" he added, almost whispering. "I'll bet they have to haul it to the dry cleaners in a Brinks truck."

Lonnie suddenly shoved one hand forward. "Hey, buddy, I might not see you and the wife again on account of I'm leaving tomorrow. Take care of that arm," he said, nodding at the cast. He glanced over the seat. "I hope you feel better real soon, young lady," he told Mel before hurrying away.

* * * * *

"What do you think?" Jamie asked Max once they'd gone through the three-bedroom apartment at Oakleigh. The leasing agent had gone back to her office, leaving them to decide. Maggie had been right; the place was beautiful and more than large enough. Even Fleas seemed to appreciate it, despite being forlorn and missing his girlfriend. He'd found a sunny spot in the room at the back that was lined with windows and looked out over the marsh, favored by stately white egrets that added to the beauty of the landscape.

Max slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "I'm thinking it's great, Swifty," he said, using the nickname he'd given her shortly after they'd met. He kissed her. "So when do we move in?"

Jamie grinned. "I've already put a deposit on it, Bubba."

"I like a woman who knows her own mind," he said.

They parked beside the newspaper office shortly before three o'clock. They walked toward the front door, hands linked, grinning like a couple of sixteen-year-olds on their first date. Jamie's outlook on life had vastly improved now that she and Max were moving out of Hell House until it was habitable again.

Jamie smelled garlic even before they opened the front doors. She gave an enormous grimace as they stepped inside the lobby. "Holy crap!" she said.

"Wow," Max said. "I feel like I've just been bitch-slapped by an Italian chef."

It grew increasingly worse as they neared Jamie's office, where Destiny lay curled on the sofa beneath the oversized afghan that Jamie kept on hand. Destiny opened her eyes and stretched. "I thought I heard voices. Hi, guys." She sat up, yawned, and rubbed her eyes.

Max's eyes widened. "Destiny? Is that you?"

"Uh-huh. I'm posing as an ugly person."

"This place stinks," Jamie said. "Has somebody been cooking garlic in the kitchen? Like maybe a truckload of it?"

"It's my temporary perfume," Destiny said. "I rubbed fresh garlic behind my ears and on my wrists hoping it would keep Freddie Baylor away."

"I think it would chase off a hungry bear," Max said.

"One good thing, I got rid of that pain-in-the-butt Earl G. Potts." When Max arched one brow in question, she explained. "Another dead guy following me around. He caught one whiff and shot off like a bottle rocket toward the light. Unfortunately, he was wearing my favorite dress, and my brand-new silk stockings" she added, clearly annoyed. "I don't know why a normal dead person doesn't latch on to me once in a while."

"Excuse me?"

All three turned at the sound of a male voice. The handsome blond man standing in the doorway was impeccably dressed. Jamie could tell he'd spent big bucks on his Italian suit; it was of the quality Max wore. He looked very familiar, but she couldn't quite place him. "May I help you?"

He sniffed. "I don't mean to be rude, but this place smells terrible." He looked about as though trying to figure out the source. He gave a slight frown at the sight of the woman on the sofa.

"We're trying to keep evil spirits away," Jamie said. "Do I know you?"

He smiled. "It's me, Freddy Baylor."

Jamie and Destiny gasped and gaped. Destiny fell back on the sofa and covered her face with the afghan. "I didn't recognize you!" Jamie said.

He grinned. "I clean up well."

Max held out his hand. "I'm—"

"I know who you are," Freddy said, and shook his hand. "We've met before. At the Four Seasons in New York. A charitable function, I think."

"Wait a minute," Max said. "You're Theodore Frederick Baylor of Baylor Electronics. What brings you to Beaumont?"

"I got burned out on the corporate world and bought a bait shop." He laughed at Max's look of astonishment. "Hey, I was going through an early midlife crisis so I became a bum for a couple of months. Have you guys seen Destiny?"

"Oh, she's—" Max saw the look on Jamie's face and swallowed the rest of his sentence.

"Destiny left," Jamie said quickly. "She wasn't feeling well."

"Yeah," Max said. "She wasn't herself today."

"I went by her house first. She's probably mad at me for knocking on her door so many times last night. I sort of lost my head over her. I'll just have to live with the embarrassing memories." His cell phone rang, and he glanced at the number. "Uh-oh, it's my pilot. He has already filed a flight plan. I should have been there by now." He pushed a button. "Fifteen minutes," he said and hung up.

"I have to go," he said. "I wanted to apologize to Destiny. I was hoping to make it up to her by taking her to New York for a few days. A little wining and dining," he added. "I think she and I could have had something, but I probably turned her off with my good-old-boy routine. I sort of went over the top, I think."

"Wait!" Destiny threw off the afghan and bolted from the sofa. "Freddy—"

"Destiny? Good grief, what happened to you!" He sniffed, took a step back, and held up one hand.

She stopped at a respectful distance. "Oh, um, I'm not Destiny," she said. "I'm her, uh, ugly twin. I'm uh—" She shot Jamie a frantic look.

"Desmeralda," Jamie said quickly, then shrugged at the odd look Destiny and Max shot her.

"But I know where to find my sister," Destiny said quickly, "and I know she would be thrilled to go to New York with you."

Freddy just stood there looking horrified. He clearly saw through the act. He checked his wristwatch. "Oh, boy, I'm really late," he said. "I've got your number," he told Destiny. "I'll give you a call." He was gone.

"I should probably go after him," Destiny said.

"No!" Max and Jamie said in unison.

Vera came through the front door a few minutes later. "Holy Hades!" she cried. "This place smells like a garlic breeding ground." She stepped into Jamie's office. "Are we trying to get rid of vampires or something?" She shot Destiny a quick look. "What's wrong with Ugly?" she asked Jamie, cutting her eyes at Destiny once more.

"Freddy Baylor has lost interest in me," Destiny said, giving a huge sniff. A lone tear ran down her cheek. "He wants nothing to do with me."

Vera was clearly dumbfounded. Finally, she squared her shoulders. "Okay, we have to stick together," she said. "I don't care if Destiny is a loose screw in slutwear; we can't let word of this get out. If anyone learns that scraggly-looking bait shop owner Freddy Baylor rejected her, no man will ever want her." She pretended to zip her mouth.

* * * * *

"I fold," Zack said to Mel, laying down his cards. "You've got most of the chips anyway. I think you lied when you said you didn't know how to play poker. I think you're hustling me, kid."

"Sore loser," Mel said, raking her chips across her bedroom floor.

"I'm sore, all right," he said, stretching his long legs. "Hard for an old man to sit on a floor," he added.

"Don't complain to me," Mel said. "Tell the evil doctor."