William Johnston - Missed It By That Much!

“Forget about the raft, 99. Try to think of who might have been telephoning me.”

“Max, I haven’t the faintest- Max-look! Coming across the bridge.”

Max looked in the direction that 99 was pointing and saw a half-dozen tall, fair-skinned, blond young men approaching.

“Oh-oh! Hostile natives!” Max said.

“But, Max, they’re blond and fair-skinned and smiling.”

“99, that’s only an illusion. It’s the old dark-skinned, ferocious-Africans-disguised-as-fair-skinned, smiling-Americans trick.”

“Max. . I don’t think so. .”

The leader of the young men raised a hand in greeting. “Hi-ho, everybody!” he grinned.

“See, Max?” 99 said.

Max shrugged. “It was a natural mistake.”

“Well, two bright-eyed, intelligent Americans and one underprivileged person,” the young man said. “Glad to see you-the two of you, anyway. We’re bright-eyed, intelligent Americans, too.”

“Out here in the middle of the jungle?” Max said dubiously. “That’s a little hard to believe.”

“We’re with the Peace Corps,” the leader explained.

The other young men broke into a cheer.

“Rah-Rah-Rah! Sis-Boom-Bah! Peace Corps! Yeah!”

“We just finished building this bridge,” the leader said to Max. “We were hoping someone would come along to test it. We didn’t dare. It looks a little rickety, doesn’t it? We thought one of the natives would happen along and try it out. We’re sorry that you bright-eyed, intelligent Americans had to risk your lives on it. But. . all’s well that ends well, eh?”

Max looked around. “You’re building a bridge out here in the middle of the jungle? Do you mind if I ask a question?”

“No, go ahead.”

“You didn’t by any chance make a telephone call to me a few minutes ago, did you?” Max asked.

The leader shook his head.

“Darn!” Max muttered.

“Max-ask him about the bridge,” 99 said.

“Oh. . yes.” Max addressed the leader of the Peace Corpsmen again. “Why are you building a bridge out here in the middle of the jungle?”

“Because of the falls,” he replied.

“There you are, 99,” Max said. “Does that answer your question?”

“No, Max.”

“Let me explain,” the Peace Corpsman said. “You’ve heard about Niagara Falls, I suppose. And you know that it has a bridge over it. But do you know that thousands and thousands of tourists go to Niagara Falls every year just to stand on that bridge? And do you know that those tourists spend thousands and thousands of dollars?”

“Oh, now I understand,” 99 said. “You want to make a tourist attraction out of this falls. The tourists will come here and spend money and the economy will boom.”

“Right. These people here are practically savages,” the Peace Corpsman said. “But, with a little money. .”

“That’s wonderful,” 99 enthused. “You could change their whole way of living. You could civilize them.”

“No, no, we’ll keep them the way they are,” the Peace Corpsman replied. “Savages are a great tourist attraction.”

“But. . but the falls. . the bridge. .” 99 said.

“Who would come all the way to Africa to see a waterfall?” the Peace Corpsman replied. “You can see the same thing at Niagara Falls. And the bridge is safer.”

“You’re doing a great job,” Max said. “We’re all proud of you. Now-”

“Max,” 99 interrupted, looking perplexed, “I still don’t understand why they’re building the bridge.”

“For heaven’s sake, 99! Because they want to do their bit for mankind, and get it out of the way, so they can go back home and start making money.”

“Oh.”

Max saluted the Peace Corpsmen. “As I say, we’re proud of you,” he said. “And thanks loads for building that bridge. You got it up just in the nick of time. I shudder to think where we’d be now if we’d gone over the falls.”

“Any time. .” the leader smiled graciously.

“We have to be going now, though,” Max said. “We’re on the trail of a scientist who has developed a gas or something that could be a blessing or a curse to civilization, as we know it, depending on whether or not it falls into the hands of the Good Guys or the Bad Guys.”

“Say. . that sounds like Dr. Livingstrom,” the leader said.

Max’s eyes opened wide. “You know him?”

“He passed through here a few days ago,” the leader replied. “He was looking for the Dog Flower plant, a rare specimen that grows only in New Ghirzy.”

“I know, I know,” Max said, delighted. “Which way did he go?”

The Peace Corpsman pointed to the other side of the river. “That-a-way.”

Max eyed him suspiciously. “But, before, you told us that you had just finished the bridge a short time before we happened along. How did Dr. Livingstrom cross the river?”

“You wouldn’t believe it,” the Peace Corpsman replied.

“Try me.”

“No. I know-you just wouldn’t believe it.”

“Cross my heart, Scout’s honor, and all that-I’ll believe it.”

“Well. . what he did was, he went into the jungle and teased a hippopotamus and got it to chase him. He ran toward the river bank, and when the hippo caught up with him, he side-stepped it, then jumped on the hippo’s back, and- See? It’s just too unbelievable.”

“Unbelievable? It’s the only way to travel,” Max said.

“Max, hadn’t we better go?” 99 urged.

“99, we can’t go without saying good-bye to these young men.”

“I don’t think there’s time for that, Max,” 99 said nervously.

“99, there is always time for politeness.”

“Max. . I hear a splintering sound.”

Max listened. “Yes, that’s what that is, 99. That’s definitely a splintering sound.” He faced back to the Corpsman. “I suppose that’s the call of some exotic jungle bird,” he said.

The Corpsman shook his head. “No, that’s the bridge. It’s failing the test.”

“Max,” 99 urged again, “the bridge is going to collapse.”

“Now, just a minute, 99,” Max said. “Let’s not panic. All bridges make sounds like that when they sway in the wind. I’m sure we’re as safe right now as we would be if we were standing on the deck of a battleship. I’m positive that the Peace Corps wouldn’t send this young man out here to build a bridge if he didn’t have some training in bridge-building.” He turned back to the leader. “You have built bridges before, haven’t you?”

“Lots,” the young man smiled.

“I knew it. And where did you get your bridge-building training?”

“Massachusetts College of Dentistry.”

At that instant, the bridge collapsed, and the Peace Corpsmen and Max and 99 and Hassan hurtled downward toward the water.

“You know,” Max said to the leader, “there’s a difference between the bridges you learn to build in dentistry school and the bridges you build to put across rivers.”

“That’s what I told them at the Peace Corps,” the leader replied. “But they said, ‘Who’ll know? A bunch of dumb savages?’ ”

The whole group hit the water together, disappeared, then bobbed to the surface, gasping for breath.

“Max!” 99 screamed. “We’re being swept toward the falls!”

“Well, Hassan,” Max said, “time to pull off another miracle.”

“I’m tired of saving us all the time,” Hassan grumbled. “It’s your turn.”

“In that case,” Max sighed, “this is the end. So long, Hassan. Good-bye, 99. Peace Corpsmen-toodle-ooo!”

“Oh, Max,” 99 sobbed. “Why does it have to end this way? Why? Why?”

“It is regrettable,” Max agreed. “Now I’ll never know who it was who was calling me on the phone.”