William Johnston - Missed It By That Much!

“I think I’ve heard of it. But doesn’t it have a shorter name?”

“It’s also called The Number Twenty-Six, or The Upsa-Daisy.”

“Oh, yes, now I remember.”

“First,” Max said, gathering vines, “we’ll braid these into a long rope.”

When they had finished that, Max lassoed the tip of a tall, supple, young tree, and bent the tree until the tip touched the ground. Then he secured the tip to a stake he had driven into the earth.

“What now, Max?”

“Now, we make a loop in the other end of this rope,” Max explained. “And we place the loop on the trail and cover it with branches.”

“I see. And then Whitestone comes along and steps in the loop and trips the trap and the loop tightens around his ankle and the tree springs up and there he is, dangling from the tree.”

“By the rope.”

“Yes, by the rope.”

“Without the rope, he couldn’t dangle from the tree.”

“Yes, I understand, Max.”

“But you didn’t mention it. And, without the rope, he couldn’t dangle from the tree.”

“I’m sorry, Max. I should have mention-”

99 was interrupted by a ringing sound.

“I think that’s the doorbell,” Max said. “Will you get it, 99?”

“Max, it’s your shoe.”

“Oh. . yes. .”

Max removed his shoe.

Max: 86, here. Is that you, Chief?

Chief: Yes, Max, it’s me. Why haven’t you called? I’ve been worried about you. Did you manage to get away from those elephants?

Max: Of course, Chief.

Operator: I knew it! Self! Self! Self! That’s all you ever think of, Max. All you had to do was get run down by one little elephant and Arnold’s career would have been assured. But no, you had to escape! Self! Self! Self!

Max: Operator, I’m sorry. But I’ll make it up to Arnold. The next time I meet a rampaging elephant, I’ll throw myself in its path.

Operator: When, Max? People are always making promises like that, but they never follow through. When?

Chief: Operator, will you get off the line, please. This is a top-secret conversation. Max, are you still there? What progress have you made?

Max: We’re hot on Dr. Livingstrom’s trail, Chief. At the moment, however, we’re taking time out to trap that KAOS agent, Whitestone. He’s been giving us a lot of trouble.

Operator: Max, when you get back, you’re invited to my house for dinner. There’s a nice elephant I want you to meet.

Chief: Operator! Please! (pause) Max, don’t waste too much time on that KAOS agent. Remember, the most important thing is to find Dr. Livingstrom and get the formula from him.

Operator: Here are the seating arrangements for the dinner, Max. Arnold will be seated at my left, and his mother will be seated at my right, and you’ll be seated under the elephant.

Max: Chief, we can’t talk-there’s too much interference. I’ll call you later.

Chief: You’re probably right, Max. Over and out.

Operator: Watch for rampaging elephants, Max. A promise is a promise.

Max put his shoe back on his foot.

“The trap is ready, Max,” 99 reported.

“Fine. Now, let’s conceal ourselves in the underbrush again, and wait for Whitestone to come along and step into that loop.”

Not long after they had hidden, they heard a sound on the trail.

“It’s him-he’s coming!” Max said. “Quiet, 99!”

“I didn’t say anything, Max.”

“You just did! Quiet!”

A moment later, a large lion wandered into the clearing, crossed it, then disappeared into the jungle.

“Oh, Max,” 99 said, disappointed. “Did you see what happened? That lion stepped into the loop, but the trap didn’t spring.”

“And good thing. What would we do with a lion, 99?”

“But, don’t you see? If the lion didn’t trip the trap, Whitestone won’t either.”

“Oh. Well, let’s not jump to conclusions, 99. After all, it’s not a lion trap, it’s a Whitestone trap. That may make a difference.”

“I doubt it, Max.”

“Let’s give it a chance,” Max said.

Again, they waited. Soon, they heard a sound on the trail once more. Then a leopard strolled into the clearing. The leopard stopped at the point where the loop had been camouflaged. It sniffed, then stepped into the loop, then out of it, and loped off into the jungle.

“Oh, Max. .”

“99, I refuse to jump to conclusions. We’ll wait.”

Minutes passed. Then a gorilla emerged from the jungle. It reached the loop, dug it up from under the vines and branches and peered at it quizzically, then began playing a game with it, pretending to lasso imaginary smaller animals. But after a while the gorilla tired of the game, dropped the rope, covered it with the vines and branches, then ambled on along the trail.

“Well, Max?”

“I’m willing to admit, 99, that it may not be working perfectly. I’ll check it out.”

“Max, no! Don’t go out there!”

He peered at her puzzledly. “Why not, 99?”

“Max, you know exactly what will happen. You’ll trip that trap, and, the next thing you know, you’ll be dangling in the air.”

“99, give me credit for some intelligence, will you? I know exactly where that loop is. I’m not going to blunder into it.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Max.”

“For goodness sake, 99, you’d think I was a child!”

Max scrambled out of the underbrush, and very cautiously crossed the clearing toward where the loop was hidden. “See?” he called back. “I’m approaching it very slowly, step by step by step by-”

Max suddenly vanished.

99 leaped from the underbrush and rushed to the edge of the pit. “Max! Are you all right? Speak to me!”

“Careful, 99,” Max replied. “That fourth step is a doozy!”

99 reached down into the pit. “Take my hand, Max.”

“Watch it, 99. You’re getting a little too close to-” There was a snapping sound, then a twan-n-n-n-n-ging sound.

“-to that trap we set for Whitestone,” Max finished, peering up at 99, who was dangling overhead.

“Oh, Max, I’m sorry,” 99 moaned, swinging to and fro.

“It does present a bit of a problem,” Max said. “With you up there, you can’t help me out of this pit. And with me in this pit, I can’t help you down from up there.”

“Max, telephone the Chief. Maybe he can send help.”

“I will not!” Max snapped.

“But, Max! We’re trapped. Why not?”

“Because he might send Arnold!” Max said. “That would be the last straw!”

“Well, then. . Wait a minute, Max. . I think I can pull myself up by the rope and unfasten this loop from around my ankle. .”

“Good girl, 99!”

Using all her strength, 99 arched her body upward until she could get a hold on the rope. Then, clutching tightly to the rope with one hand, she used the other hand to untie the loop.

“You did it, 99! Now, drop to the ground!”

“Max, I’m right over the pit. If I drop, I’ll drop into the pit. Then we’ll both be trapped again.”

“99, I don’t like to criticize, but you’re not handling this too well.”

“What do you suggest, Max?”

Max sighed. “I guess I better phone the Chief.”

“No, Max! Listen!”

Max cocked an ear. “Something. . or someone. . is coming. .”

A giraffe stepped daintily into the clearing.

“It’s a giraffe, Max,” 99 reported.

“Great. I’ll mention that to the Chief.”

“Max, wait-don’t phone yet. The giraffe is coming my way. When it reaches me, I’ll drop to its neck, then slide down to the ground.”

“Forget it, 99. I’ll call the Chief. What if he does send Arnold to rescue us. My ego has survived harsher blows than that.”