William Johnston - The Spy Who Went Out to the Cold

“Oh, yes-forgot about that. And it’s been in the family for such a terribly long time. It’s the one daddy always misplaced just before he went into battle in World War I.”

“Maybe I could help,” Max suggested. “I wouldn’t mind holding it for you-until after all the fuss and the picture-taking and all is over.”

“You know,” Desmond said, handing over the pistol, “you’re not really a bad sort at all-for a mummy.”

Max pointed the gun at them. “Hands up, and don’t move.”

“I rather think I’ll withdraw that last compliment,” Desmond said.

“Serves him right, too, Des,” Archie said grumpily.

“But, Max, what will we do with them?” 99 said.

“For starters, kick them off our boat,” Max replied.

“Max, those reporters are expecting them in Alexandria. If they’re not aboard, there’ll be an investigation. We’ll lose so much time.”

Max thought for a moment. He looked from Archie to Desmond, then from Desmond to Archie, then stared for a few seconds at the mummy cases.

“The problem is solved, 99,” Max said.

Two days later, the houseboat reached Alexandria. The dock was swarming with newspaper reporters. “Where are they?” the reporters called, scrambling aboard as the boat tied up at the pier.

“You’ll find what you’re looking for in the basement,” Max replied.

The reporters pushed past him and disappeared below. Max, 99 and von BOOM hurried ashore and rushed away. A few minutes later, they got into a taxi and ordered the driver to take them to the airport.

“Max. . Desmond and Archie are going to be very angry,” 99 said.

“I doubt it, 99. That would be un-British.”

Max, 99 and von BOOM entered the crowded airport terminal and started toward the ticket desk. But Max suddenly stopped.

“Let’s not forget, 99,” he said, “we’re back in civilization now. So watch out for KAOS agents. Don’t trust anyone. Remember Rule No. 26: Suspect First, Think Later!”

“That’s Rule No. 24, Max. No. 26 is: Don’t Hold Your Marshmallow Too Close to the Hot Coals.”

Max looked at her doubtfully. “I’ve never heard that, 99. Isn’t that a little silly to be a rule for a secret agent?”

“Not if you’re on a cook-out and you have reason to think a KAOS agent has slipped you a booby-trapped marshmallow, Max.”

“I suppose not,” Max nodded.

“Is anybody going to get the tickets?” von BOOM asked.

“Will you let me direct this operation, Professor?” Max said. “I happen to have a lit-tle bit more experience at fleeing from KAOS than you do. You just stick to your science.”

“All right, then, what next?” von BOOM said.

“I’ll go get the tickets. You two wait right here.”

Max made his way through the crowd to the ticket counter. He addressed the clerk. “Three one-way tickets to Vladivostok,” he said. “That’s in Russia.”

“I know where it is,” the clerk, a young man, responded coolly. “I majored in Vladivostok in ticket school.”

“Sorry about that,” Max said. “I just wanted to be very specific. I didn’t want to end up with tickets to Vladivostok, Spain or Vladivostok, Nebraska. I find that if I’m very specific, I avoid making a lot of stupid mistakes.”

“One-way tickets, eh?” the clerk said. “You must be a secret agent. Planning to stay in Russia and spy a while?”

“No, just passing through,” Max replied. “And I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention that secret agent business to anybody. It’s supposed to be a secret.”

“It’s all right,” the clerk replied, “I’m a secret agent, too. I’m the secret agent in charge of spotting secret agents entering Russia.”

“Oh. . nice to meet you,” Max nodded. “Now. . may I have those tickets?”

The young man detached three tickets from a roll, stamped them, then handed them to Max. “Keep one foot on the ground,” he said.

“Pardon?”

“I said, ‘Keep one foot on the ground.’ That’s the safest way to fly.”

“Oh. One more thing-where do we get the plane?”

“You go out to the end of the main runway and flap your arms and then fly straight north.”

“Ah. . could you explain that?” Max said.

“The plane took off two hours ago,” the young man replied. “There’s only one flight a day to Vladivostok. The next one isn’t until tomorrow. You better hurry if you want to catch up with today’s flight. It’s a jet. And they’re speedy as the dickens.”

Max handed the tickets back to him. “Nevermind.”

He returned to where 99 and von BOOM were waiting and explained that the next flight to Vladivostok would not be leaving until the following day.

“Max, that means we’ll have to stay here almost twenty-four hours,” 99 said. “And every minute of delay gives KAOS that much more time to try to kidnap Professor von BOOM.”

“I know, 99. But what can we do? There’s no possible- Wait a minute. I have an idea.”

Max made another trip to the ticket desk. When he returned he was carrying a thick folder. “This is the international airlines schedule,” he explained. “It lists the departure and arrival times of every flight in the world. It’s just possible that we can get to Vladivostok by way of somewhere else.” He opened the schedule and studied it for a few moments, then suddenly brightened. “There’s a plane leaving here for Paris in a few minutes,” he said. “And, with a little luck, we can connect with a plane that flies from Paris to Vladivostok.”

“Wonderful, Max!”

“Why don’t we just get a plane straight to the North Pole?” von BOOM suggested.

Max consulted the schedule again. “Because there’s only one flight a year to the Pole,” he said, after a second. “And we missed it by six months. Besides, it only flies over the Pole. It doesn’t stop.”

“At the rate we’re going, and all the trouble we’re having, I still think that would be the quickest and easiest,” von BOOM said.

Max let the comment pass and returned to the ticket counter and purchased three one-way tickets to Paris. Then he and 99 and von BOOM boarded the plane, which was ready to depart. A few minutes later, the plane took off.

Max looked around at the other passengers. “Did you happen to see anyone who looks like a KAOS agent, 99?” he said.

“No, Max.”

He faced front. “Just keep alert for anything suspicious,” he said. “KAOS is probably getting desperate by now. They’re liable to try anything.”

The stewardess appeared. “Coffee, tea or coke?” she smiled.

“Doped or un-doped?” Max shot back.

“Oh, you must be that crazy secret agent,” the stewardess said. “The ticket clerk told me you’d be aboard.”

“He promised he wouldn’t blab it around,” Max said, disappointed.

“It’s all right,” the stewardess replied. “I’m a secret agent, too. I’m the secret agent in charge of observing secret agents entering France. Now. . what will it be? Coffee, tea or coke-doped or un-doped?”

“We’ll pass,” Max said.

Several hours later, the airliner landed in Paris. Max, 99 and von BOOM hurried into the terminal and rushed to the ticket counter.

“Three one-way tickets to Vladivostok-and snap to it!” Max ordered.

“Yes, sir!” the clerk replied. Quickly, he tore three tickets from a roll, stamped them, and handed them to Max. “There you are. Fast enough?”

“Very good,” Max said. “Now, where do we get the plane?”

“In Berlin, Germany,” the clerk replied. “That’s its next stop. It left here about a quarter of an hour ago.”

Max sighed gloomily. “And the next flight to Vladivostok doesn’t leave until tomorrow, I suppose,” he said.