William Johnston - The Spy Who Went Out to the Cold

After a while, Max and 99 regained consciousness. Professor von BOOM helped them to their feet.

“It worked, 99,” Max said. “We saved him. Look, he doesn’t have a scratch on him. But, let’s not waste a lot of time congratulating ourselves,” he said, getting out the international flight schedule. “We still have to get to Vladivostok. Now here. . here’s a flight to Athens from Madrid. And, with any luck at all, it will get us there in time to connect with the flight from Athens to Vladivostok.”

“My hunch is we won’t even make it back to the airport,” von BOOM said.

“That’s not a very nice thing for a man to say who’s just been rescued from a stampede of bulls,” Max replied peevishly.

They returned to the street that had recently been the stomping ground for the herd of bulls, then signalled a cab and rode back to the airport.

“Found him, I see,” the porter said, as they entered the terminal. “I didn’t think he’d get very far without a stamp on him.”

Max did not try again to explain.

They moved on to the ticket desk. Max got three oneway tickets to Athens, and a while later they boarded the plane.

As the airliner took off, 99 relaxed in her seat and closed her eyes.

“Better stay awake, 99,” Max said. “The whole plane could be infested with KAOS agents for all we know.”

“Max. .” she replied wearily, “. . I’ve been awake for so many hours, I’ve stopped counting. We’ve been chasing all over Europe and half of Asia, hopping on planes, hopping off planes, running from bulls, arguing with taxi drivers. . Max, I’m exhausted.”

“But somebody has to keep an eye on von BOOM, 99.”

“Can’t you do it, Max?”

“99, I’ve been chasing all over Europe and half of Asia, hopping on planes, hopping off planes, running from bulls, arguing with taxi drivers. . I think I deserve a little nap.”

“Sorry, Max. . selfish of me. Nighty-night, Max.”

Max soon dozed off. But his nap was short-lived. He was suddenly aroused by the voice of the pilot over the loud-speaker.

“Tenshun, yawl!” the voice said. “This hyar’s yur pilot, ol’ Migale Orteeze from the Southa Spain. Now, Ah don’ want none of yawl fine folks to panic-but we got ourselves a specka trouble.”

“We lost a wing!” Max said, sitting up, panicking.

“Now, don’ get nothin’ fancy in yur heads-like this ol’ flappin’ chicken lost a wing nur nothin’,” the voice continued. “ ’Cause it ain’t nothin’ like that a-tall. Why, I wouldn’ hardly bother to mention it, ’cept I get such a ding-dongy kick outa talkin’ to ya over this hyar squawky-box. What it is, ya see, they’s all fogged-in there at that Athens place. Wheweeee! They say the fog’s so thick on the ground there, you could cut it up in li’l ol’ sqars and sell it for tattletale gray ice cubes. That’s a little humor there to keep up yur spirits.”

“I’ll bet he’s going to tell us we have to turn back,” Max said.

“No, as a fact, I ain’t,” the voice said. “What we’re gonna do is, see, we’re gonna go to our alternate. That’s the place where ya go when you cain’t get in to the place where yur goin’. Now, our alternate, accordin’ to this slippy little piecea paper they give me, is some li’l ol’ town in Egypt. It’s called Alexandria. Anybody ever been there? Well, no bother. It’ll be a nice little surprise for all of us. So, let’s jus’ settle back, folks, an’ think about that raggety-tag ol’ rip-roarin’ time we’re gonna have when we get to Alexandria-that is, if ah can find it.”

The loudspeaker became silent.

“A fine can of beans,” Max grumbled. “Back to Alexandria. We just left there.”

“Max, that was yesterday,” 99 pointed out.

“About this same time yesterday,” von BOOM said.

“That’s right,” Max nodded. “In fact, with any luck, we ought to be able to catch the flight to Vladivostok that we missed yesterday.”

When the plane landed at Alexandria, Max, 99 and von BOOM rushed into the terminal and up to the ticket desk.

“Three one-way tickets to Vladivostok!” Max said. “And snap to it!”

“Oh. . there you are,” the ticket clerk said. “I hope you enjoyed your stay in Alexandria. Did you see the sights?”

“What we saw was Paris and Madrid,” Max replied.

The clerk nodded knowingly. “Some of these guided tours do get a bit off the beaten track,” he said.

“Just give us our tickets,” Max said impatiently.

The clerk opened a drawer and got out three prestamped tickets. “I saved these for you from yesterday,” he said.

“Are they still good?”

The clerk sniffed the tickets. “Oh, a bit musty from being in the drawer,” he said. “But they’ll air out by the time you get to the plane.”

Max snatched the tickets and he and 99 and von BOOM rushed from the terminal and boarded the plane. They were just in time. As soon as they were in their seats, the doors closed and the airliner taxied out for a take-off.

“Max, the past twenty-four hours have been a total loss,” 99 said. “If we’d just stayed here, at least we could have got some sleep.”

“Don’t be a cranky secret agent, 99. Nobody likes a cranky secret agent.”

“Besides, it wasn’t a total total loss,” von BOOM said. “I had a small adventure. How many small adventures does a scientist have in a lifetime?”

“What small adventure is that, Professor?” 99 asked.

“Being chased down the street in Spain by hundreds and hundreds of fierce bulls. What a story to tell the folks back home!”

“I don’t think I’d mention it if I were you, Professor,” Max advised.

“Really? Why not?”

“Because of the comment. If I know anything about the folks back home, somebody is bound to say, ‘That’s a lot of bulls.’ ”

Von BOOM looked thoughtful, then nodded. “You’re right-I’ll forget it.” he said.

When the airliner reached Vladivostok, Max, 99 and von BOOM got off as quickly as possible, hurried in one door of the terminal and out the other door, got into a taxi, and ordered the driver to take them to the railroad station.

“Max, aren’t we doing more rushing than is necessary,” 99 complained. “We haven’t seen a KAOS agent since we were aboard that ship.”

“That doesn’t mean that they’re not all around us, 99. We’re not supposed to see them. KAOS is a secret organization, you know.”

“But, Max, if they’re all around us, why haven’t they tried to abduct Professor von BOOM?”

“I told you, 99, they’re a secret organization. That’s their secret.”

“Max, I think we’ve lost them-completely.”

Max looked mildly troubled. “I wish I could confer with the Chief,” he said. “He certainly picked an inconvenient time to go on vacation.”

“Max, I’m sure you can contact him by shoe-phone. He wouldn’t leave on vacation without telling someone where he was going. Suppose HIM wanted to get in touch with him?”

“You may be right, 99. I’ll try.”

Max removed his shoe and dialed.

Operator: Maxie, did you get permission to take the Telephone Company’s shoe to Russia?

Max: I have the Chief’s permission, Operator. And speaking-

Operator: Oh sure, he’d give you his permission. It isn’t his shoe. Why should he care? Nobody cares about our telephone but us.

Max: That’s not true, Operator. I care about it. Now-

Operator: If you care about it, Max, how is it that you can walk all over it?

Max: I’m not going to get involved in a silly argument with you, Operator. Connect me with the Chief. And don’t tell me he’s on vacation. I know that. But I also know that you know where he is. So, just get him on the phone, and don’t give me a lot of guff.