William Johnston - The Spy Who Went Out to the Cold

Operator (timidly): Did you get up on the wrong side of the world this morning, Max?

Max: Operator-

Operator: All right, all right.

(clicks and buzzes)

Chief: Aloha! Chief here. .

Max: Aloha, Chief? You mean while I’m chasing around the world, fighting off sand storms, river pirates and bulls, you’re basking in the sun in Hawaii? Is that fair, Chief? After all-

Chief: Max, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. This isn’t exactly a vacation I’m on. It’s more of a working vacation. I’m- Just a moment, Max. I want to turn over. I’m getting a little too brown on that side. All right. . now, why did you call, Max? Trouble?

Max: No, Chief. That’s the trouble.

Chief: Could you give me that again, Max? We must have a bad connection.

Max: I said our trouble is that we’re not getting any trouble. We haven’t encountered a KAOS agent in days, Chief. Doesn’t that strike you as a little suspicious?

Chief: Mmmmm. . you’re right, Max. It might mean, of course, that you’ve been so clever that you’ve eluded them completely. But-

Operator: Aw, come on, Chief!

Chief: As I was about to say, but that hardly seems likely. It must be some kind of a maneuver, Max. They must be planning something. Maybe they’re waiting for just the right moment to strike. You better stay on your toes.

Operator: Don’t you dare, Max! You might bend our shoe!

Chief: The only thing I can suggest, Max, is that you play it by ear. If you’re suddenly attacked by a horde of KAOS agents, you’ll know that, until now, they’ve been playing cat and mouse. And your trouble-that is, your lack of trouble-will be over-one way or the other. But, on the other hand, if you reach the North Pole without seeing any more KAOS agents, you’ll know that you’ve out-foxed them. It could happen, Max. It’s a crazy world.

Operator: Not that crazy, Chief. You’d better get in out of that sun.

Max: All right, Chief. Thanks for the advice-I think. And. . aloha, Chief. .

By then, the cab had reached the railroad station. Max, 99 and von BOOM got out and entered the terminal. Max bought tickets for two compartments-one for 99 and one for himself and von BOOM-on the Trans Siberian Railway, and soon after that they boarded the train. Max and von BOOM left 99 at her compartment, then entered their own compartment, which was next door. A few minutes later, the train whistle blew, then the train began moving slowly out of the station.

“Very odd,” Max muttered, settling in a seat. “I took a very close look at every person we met from the time we left that taxi to the time we reached this compartment and not one of them looked anything like a KAOS agent.”

“What does a KAOS agent look like?” von BOOM asked.

“Oh. . I don’t know. Nothing special. . like anybody else.”

Von BOOM looked out the window. “We’re picking up speed,” he said. “We’re almost out of the city.”

“You don’t happen to see anybody suspicious-looking running alongside the train, do you, Professor? I know those KAOS agents are somewhere around.”

“Nobody out there but chickens,” von BOOM replied.

“Chickens?”

“We’ve reached the countryside,” von BOOM explained.

“Oh.” Max looked thoughtful for a second, then said, “Are any of them, by any chance, wearing shoulder holsters?”

“I can’t tell. They all have their wings down.”

“Mmmmmm. . I wonder why? KAOS agents are very clever at disguise, you know. I better look for myself.” He got up and peered out the window, then shook his head. “Nope. But I wouldn’t be surprised-”

There was a sudden scream. It sounded as if it were coming from 99’s compartment. Max rushed to the door, yanked it open, and dashed out into the aisle. A sinister-looking man wearing a blue suit with brass buttons was standing at 99’s doorway. The door was open, and 99 was just inside. She looked pale and startled.

“Agent. .” 99 gasped, seeing Max.

“KAOS! Finally!” Max shouted. He lunged at the man.

The man took off up the aisle-and Max landed flat on his face on the floor.

“Max-”

“I’ll get him, 99!” Max said, scrambling to his feet. “Keep an eye on von BOOM!”

As the man passed through the doorway at the end of the car, Max raced up the aisle after him. They ran through one car after another, with the fleeing man maintaining a slight lead. Other passengers dived to the right and left to keep from being run down. The man and Max reached the dining car. The man sought protection behind a table. Max lunged at him. The man ducked under the table. Max landed on top of it, flat, and skidded across it-and three other tables-pulling tablecloths with him and sending dishes, silverware and glassware flying in all directions.

As Max struggled to his feet, he caught a glimpse of the man running from the car, heading in the direction from which they had come. He gave chase. Back through the cars, one after another, the two raced. Other passengers dived to the right and left to keep from being ran down. Ahead, Max saw 99 and von BOOM standing in the aisle.

“Inside!” he shouted.

The man ducked into a compartment.

“Not you! Them!” Max shouted after him.

99 called to him. “Max-”

“Later, 99. I’m busy right now!”

Max thrust open the compartment door and ran in-just as the man disappeared out the window. Max rushed to the opening and looked out and up. He saw the man’s legs dangling down from above-he had climbed to the roof of the train. Quickly, Max scrambled after him.

Reaching the roof, Max spotted the man making his way precariously toward the rear of the train. Gingerly, slowly, being careful of his footing, Max followed. The man was getting away. Max moved faster. His foot slipped. He fell and went rolling toward the edge of the roof. Just in time, he caught hold of a ridge, ending the fall. Slowly, gripping the ridge with the tips of his fingers, calling on an extra strength, he dragged himself back to the center of the roof, then struggled to his feet and resumed the chase.

The man had reached the rear of the train and was climbing down. Thinking quickly, Max jumped down between two cars, landed on the platform, then entered the train and ran toward the rear, hoping to intercept the man. But he reached the last car-the observation car-without meeting him.

Stopping, Max looked around, puzzled. A number of passengers were seated in the lounge car with papers. All except one had lowered their papers to stare at Max. Warily, he approached the one man who was still hidden, and then, with a sudden movement, yanked the paper from in front of his face. It was the man in the blue suit with the brass buttons.

Max lunged at him.

The man ducked, dived between Max’s legs, then escaped up the aisle toward the front of the train. Max landed in the lounge chair-but in the wrong position for sitting.

With considerable difficulty, Max disengaged himself from the chair and took out after the man again. They raced through one car after another. Passengers dived to the left and right to avoid being run down.

Ahead, Max saw 99 and von BOOM.

“Clear the track!” he shouted. “Runaway KAOS agent!”

“Max!” 99 called. “Stop!”

The man in the blue suit with the brass buttons halted. Gasping for breath, he hid behind 99 and peeked out, watching Max frightenedly.

“You just made your first mistake,” Max said to the man. “That happens to be a Control agent you’re hiding behind-as if you didn’t know it.”

“I surrender,” the man panted. “I confess. Whatever it was, I did it.”