R. Stine: Monster Blood IV

“Are you crazy?” Evan cried. “Why did you bring that here, Andy? You know how dangerous it is.”

Andy’s brown eyes flashed excitedly. She didn’t say a word. Instead, she raised the blue can and started to pull off the lid.

“Nooo!” Evan wailed. “Have you totally lost it?”

Andy grinned at him.

“Don’t open it!” Evan pleaded. “Please — don’t open it!”

With a grunt, Conan stepped forward and swiped the can from Andy. “Let me see this stuff,” he growled.

He raised the can in front of his face — and pulled off the lid.

Conan pulled open the lid — and three cloth snakes sprung out and hit him in the face.

He let out a startled yelp and let the can fall from his hand.

Andy tossed back her head and roared with laughter. Kermit laughed too, a high, shrill whinny.

Evan swallowed hard. Too shaken to laugh.

No one ever played jokes on Conan. No one.

Evan stared hard at Conan, frozen in terror. Conan’s face was bright red. He was actually blushing!

Now he’s going to pound us, Evan thought. When Conan is finished with us, we’re going to look just like those three fake snakes on the ground.

But to Evan’s surprise, Conan spun around and stomped off without saying a word.

“That was a close one,” Evan murmured.

“It was funny!” Andy exclaimed. “What’s your problem? Lose your sense of humor?”

“Yes,” Evan told her. “I don’t think Monster Blood is funny. It turned my dog, Trigger, into a giant. It turned our classroom hamster into a roaring monster. And it turned me into a twelve-foot-tall freak! That was the worst day of my life!”

“I saved you — remember? I shrank you back to your real size,” Kermit bragged.

“Yes, you did,” Evan had to admit. “That was the last good thing you ever did.”

Kermit pouted. “That’s not a nice thing to say, Evan. I shared my tarantulas with you — didn’t I?”

Evan groaned in reply.

Kermit’s expression suddenly changed. Behind his glasses, his eyes flashed. “Wait right here,” he told them. He took off, running to his house.

“Where are you going now?” Evan called after him.

“I almost forgot what I wanted to show you,” Kermit called back. “It’s the coolest thing!”

He disappeared into the house.

Evan turned to Andy. “How am I going to survive ten days with him?” he wailed. “I just got here. And I’ve already had tarantulas climbing on my head!”

Andy laughed. “It could have been worse.”

“How could it be worse?”

“Well… it could have been head lice,” she said. “Remember when Kermit was collecting head lice?”

“You’re not cheering me up, Annnnndrea,” Evan groaned.

“Don’t call me Andrea,” she grumbled. “Wow. You’re in a bad mood. Just think of all the money you are earning. Your aunt is paying you five dollars an hour to keep an eye on him — right?”

“If I survive,” Evan moaned.

He turned to the house. Kermit came running across the grass, carrying a glass case between his hands.

“ Now what is he bringing?” Evan cried.

“Maybe this is the head lice,” Andy said.

“Will you please stop talking about head lice?” Evan pleaded. “You’re making my head itch!”

“Check this out!” Kermit cried, holding the glass case up to them.

Evan squinted into the case. He saw white mice inside. Six or eight of them. With tiny black eyes and twitching pink noses. Crawling all over each other.

“Kermit — why did you bring your white mice outside?” he demanded.

“Watch,” Kermit replied.

He pulled off the lid and dumped all the mice onto the grass.

The mice didn’t hesitate. They scampered off in all directions. One of them ran right between Andy’s legs. She cried out in surprise and leaped out of the way.

“Are you crazy ?” Evan shrieked. “Your mice are all getting away!”

“No, they’re not,” Kermit replied calmly. He pulled a small gray control unit from the back pocket of his baggy jeans. It looked a lot like a TV remote control.

“This is so cool!” Kermit exclaimed. “See? I built an electric fence all the way around the backyard.”

“I don’t see any fence,” Andy said.

“Of course not. It’s electric,” Kermit told her. “It’s like the invisible fences people use to keep their dogs in the yard.”

Evan squinted to the back of the yard. “I can’t even see your mice anymore,” he told Kermit. “They’ve all run away.”

“No way,” Kermit insisted. He raised the slender control unit. “I have electric current going all around the yard. If a mouse tries to go through it, he gets a mild shock.”

“But they’re gone!” Andy laughed. “The mice are all gone!”

Kermit gazed around the backyard.

His mouth dropped open. He slapped his forehead. “Oh, wow! I forgot to turn the fence on! I forgot to throw the switch!”

He raised the control unit and pushed a red button.

“YAAAIIIIII!” Evan let out a scream as a jolt of electricity shot through his body.

Evan’s arms waved wildly. His legs wiggled and bent.

Kermit pushed the red button again. The buzzing stopped.

Kermit stared at Evan. “Sorry. Guess you shouldn’t be standing there.”

Evan took a deep breath and held it. He waited for his skin to stop tingling.

“You looked like you were dancing!” Andy exclaimed. She threw her arms up and wiggled her body, imitating Evan.

“Am I supposed to think that’s funny?” Evan asked weakly.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “Your hair is standing straight up on end!”

Evan pushed his hair down with both hands. But it popped right back up.

He glared at Kermit. “Any other great inventions?”

“Not right now,” Kermit replied. “You have to help me.”

“Help you do what?” Evan growled.

“Round up my mice,” Kermit said. He began crawling across the grass on his hands and knees. “Hurry! They are expensive lab mice. Mom will kill me if I lose them.”

Evan and Andy saw they had no choice. They dropped to their hands and knees and began crawling like Kermit.

“I don’t see any mice,” Evan whispered to Andy. “I think Kermit is in major trouble.”

He heard a heavy thumping sound behind him. He turned and saw Dogface, the big sheepdog, bouncing across the yard.

“No, Dogface!” Kermit cried. “No! Go home! Go home!”

Furiously wagging his stubby tail, the big dog leaped onto Evan, sending him sprawling on the grass.

“Dogface — you’re scaring the mice away!” Kermit wailed.

Ignoring Kermit’s desperate pleas, the dog made a wide circle, excitedly running round and round the yard, barking and wagging his tail.

“Hey — what’s going on?” an angry voice called. “Can’t you keep that dog quiet?”

Conan came leaping over the low bushes that separated the two yards. Then he ran about three steps — and stopped.

Evan heard a crackling sound. Then a loud BUZZ.

Conan’s eyes bulged. His hands shot up. His body twisted in a wild dance.

“Oh, wow,” Kermit murmured. “Didn’t I shut that off?”

He fumbled with the control unit. The buzzing stopped.

Conan took a few seconds to catch his breath.

Then he let out a furious roar. And dove at Evan.

“Wh-what are you going to do to me?” Evan stammered.

Evan leaned his elbows on the dinner table and stared down at the pile of spaghetti on his plate. Aunt Dee couldn’t mess up spaghetti — could she? he wondered.

“Evan — what happened to your ear?” Aunt Dee asked.