R. Stine: Monster Blood IV

“Evan, your friend Andy is here,” Aunt Dee called down. “I think all three of you should go outside and get some fresh air.”

“Andy?” Evan called. Without thinking, he started toward the stairs.

“Don’t move!” Kermit warned. “Don’t get them excited!”

Evan froze. The tarantula prickled the top of his head. He watched in horror as the other one made its way across the lab table and began crawling up his arm.

Andy burst down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Her short brown hair bobbed behind her as she hurried across the basement to them.

Andy didn’t dress like most sixth graders. She didn’t care what other kids wore. She liked bright colors.

Today she wore a shiny magenta windbreaker over yellow tights. Her bright orange backpack hung over one shoulder.

“Hey, guys!” she greeted them breathlessly. “What are you doing?”

“An experiment,” Kermit replied solemnly.

“So what else is new!” Andy said, rolling her eyes. But then her mouth dropped open in shock. She pointed at Evan with a trembling finger. “Evan! You have a tarantula on your head!”

Evan felt the creature dig into his hair.

“It’s part of the experiment,” Kermit told Andy. “There’s another tarantula crawling on his arm.”

“Get… them… off….” Evan ordered Kermit through gritted teeth.

Andy laughed. “This is an awesome experiment!”

Evan let out a growl and raised his fists.

“Calm,” Kermit warned. “If they sense your fear, you’re dead meat.”

Evan turned to Andy for help. But she had unzipped her backpack and was digging inside.

The tarantula prickled his scalp as it moved toward his left ear. “Kermit…” he begged.

Evan gasped as Andy pulled a blue plastic can from her backpack.

“Evan, look what I found!” Her dark eyes lit up. An evil grin spread across her face.

“Monster Blood!” Evan cried. “Where’d you get that?”

“Somewhere,” Andy teased. She raised her hand to the lid and started to twist it off.

“No—!” Evan shrieked. He dove toward her, grabbing for the can. “Don’t open it! Andy— don’t !”

Andy pulled the can from Evan’s reach.

And twisted it open.

“NOOOO!” Evan shrieked.

She tilted the can so that he could see inside.

Empty.

She laughed and tossed the can aside. “April Fools’!”

“But it isn’t April!” Kermit declared.

Evan gulped — and felt something pinch his ear. The tarantula! The Monster Blood can had frightened him so much, he’d forgotten about the creatures crawling over his body.

“Uh-oh. Now you’ve excited them!” Kermit warned. “I think we’re going to learn how painful a tarantula bite can be.”

Evan froze. He signaled frantically with his eyes for Andy to help him.

“Okay, okay,” she said finally. She stepped up to Evan and plucked the tarantula off his head.

“You’re ruining the experiment!” Kermit protested.

Andy pulled the other tarantula off Evan’s arm. She handed them to Kermit.

Grumbling to himself, Kermit dropped them into the glass jar. Then he scribbled some notes in a notebook.

Evan glared angrily at his cousin, clenching his hands into tight fists. The tarantulas were gone, but his skin still prickled. “Let’s get the Super-Soakers,” he growled.

He couldn’t wait to drench Kermit. He wanted to soak the little freak, to make him sputter and choke and shiver and shake until he begged for mercy.

And then Evan would really let him have it!

“It’s kind of cold out for a water fight,” Kermit said.

“I don’t care,” Evan growled. “Let’s go.”

He turned to Andy. She swung her backpack away and zipped it before he could see what was inside.

“What else have you got in there?” Evan demanded. “More dumb jokes?”

She sneered. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“Do you have more Monster Blood in there?” His voice cracked. “Do you have real Monster Blood?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” she repeated, hugging the backpack to her side.

Maybe I’ll soak her too, Evan thought. She’s asking for it. “Come on outside,” he told her. “You can just watch.”

“Like I believe you,” she replied, rolling her eyes again. “I’ll wait in here and do my homework. No way am I getting wet.”

Evan eyed the backpack intently. Did she have a real can of Monster Blood in there? Did she?

Please — let the answer be no! he prayed as he led Kermit to the backyard.

They filled their squirt-gun canisters from the garden hose behind the garage. And the chase was on.

Kermit ran. Evan fired first. The Super-Soaker sprayed a stream of water over Kermit’s head.

Evan lowered the squirt gun, and the water stream bounced off the back of Kermit’s down jacket.

Evan pumped hard and kept the water flowing, squeezing the trigger again. Again. He raised the spray and caught Kermit in the back of the neck.

Kermit let out a yipe as the cold water ran down his back.

He spun around. And shot a stream of water in Evan’s direction.

Evan dropped to his knees on the grass. The water stream flew over him.

He pulled the trigger and sent water splashing down the front of Kermit’s jacket.

“Yo! Hey—!” A booming voice made Evan spin around.

“Conan—!” Evan cried.

Kermit sent a spray of icy water into the back of Evan’s head.

Evan jumped up and staggered forward. “Kermit — stop!” He caught his balance before he bumped into Conan.

“You trying to get my new sneakers wet?” Conan snarled.

“No. No way,” Evan replied. He lowered his Super-Soaker to his side.

Kermit stepped up beside Evan. “Give us a break, Conan,” Kermit said. “Evan isn’t afraid of you!”

“Oh, yeah?” Conan replied menacingly.

“Evan says he can take you down any day,” Kermit boasted.

“I did not say that!” Evan cried. “Kermit — what is your problem?”

He turned to Conan. “I didn’t say that. Really. My cousin is a little mixed up. You know. From the fumes. All those chemicals he fools around with.”

Conan shook his beefy head. “You guys are really asking for it,” he muttered angrily. He took a step toward Evan.

Evan gulped. He felt his Super-Soaker move.

He turned — and saw that Kermit had reached behind him.

Kermit was pushing up Evan’s squirt gun.

Before Evan could jerk it away, Kermit pulled the trigger.

And a stream of water poured out over Conan’s new sneakers.

Conan let out an angry cry. And grabbed the front of Evan’s coat.

“I–I didn’t do it!” Evan sputtered.

“It came out of your squirt gun,” Conan replied. His big hands tightened on the coat. He tugged, lifting Evan off the ground.

“What are you going to do?” Evan shrieked.

“Hey — what’s up?” Andy came trotting out from the house.

Conan let Evan drop to the ground.

Evan stumbled but quickly caught his balance.

“Evan is teaching Conan a lesson,” Kermit reported.

Evan gave his cousin a hard shove. “I’m warning you, Kermit….”

Conan eyed Andy suspiciously. “What’s in your hand?” he demanded.

Evan turned as Andy held up her hand. She gripped a small blue plastic can.

“No—!” Evan gasped. “Andy — is that the empty one?”

She shook her head, an evil grin on her face. “Not empty. This one is full.”

Evan took a step back. “Get rid of it, Andy.”

Kermit reached for the can. “It’s the real stuff? Let me see it,” he demanded eagerly.