Benjamin Black - The Silver Swan

Mrs. T. was more accommodating. Her husband was a doctor who had kicked her out and now refused to see or speak to her, but kept her well supplied so she would not come and stand screaming for the stuff outside his fancy consulting rooms in Fitzwilliam Square. Leslie arranged to meet her at the bookshop as usual. Though she was obviously shocked by the state of his face, the bruising and the black eyes, he was afraid for the first minute or so that she would throw herself on him right there and then, in the middle of the shop, she had missed him that much, so she said. She wanted him to take her somewhere immediately, and he had to think fast and say that there was nowhere they could go, since the salon was closed and he had made it up with Kate and was living with her again, which was a lie, of course-Kate, he was fairly certain, would never have him back. He could see Mrs. T. did not believe him-he had made the mistake of taking her to Percy Place a couple of times when Deirdre's back was turned, so she knew about the room, which he also had to swear now that he had given up-but he had more important things to worry about than Mrs. T.'s disappointment at not being able to get him between the sheets. He escaped from her finally, after she had handed over the stuff, by promising to meet her that night in the Shelbourne-"I'll take a room," she purred, gazing up at him slit-eyed like a cat and clawing softly at the lapels of his linen jacket, "we can give a false name"-a promise he had no intention of keeping.

As he drove off along Baggot Street she stood on the bridge in the sunlight looking after him, in her white-rimmed sunglasses and her flowered frock that was too young for her, and when he glanced back over his shoulder she lifted a white-gloved hand and waved weakly, sadly, and he knew he would not see her again-unless, of course, Maisie Haddon and his other contacts should suddenly dry up. Mrs. T. was another one he would miss, he really would. She was forty-five if she was a day, and as thin as a whippet, but there was something about her, something about those bony wrists and spindly ankles of hers, so frail, so breakable, that had got a little way under even his tough hide. He remembered how easy it had been to make her cry. Yes, he would miss her. But Christ, all these bloody women, hanging out of him and telling him they loved him, and then turning awkward-what was a fellow to do?

It was funny, but when he walked out of the front door in Percy Place into the hot, muggy gray morning, he was stopped in his tracks by a feeling that at first he could not identify, a sort of heaviness in the chest, as if a weight had dropped on his heart. He climbed gingerly into the Riley, careful of his strapped-up ribs. He did not start the engine at once, but sat behind the wheel trying to discover what was the matter with him. He had been thinking of Kreutz, and Deirdre, and the dirty photo Kreutz had taken of her, the photo that he had posted on, for a lark. Now he closed his eyes for a moment. Christ. What had he done? And then he realized that what he was feeling was guilt. Yes, guilt. That was what had stopped him in midstride, that was the weight pressing on his heart. He opened his eyes again and looked about the empty street in a kind of amazement. Leslie White, feeling guilty-now, there was a thing. Then he started the engine and gave the accelerator a few hard punches. What was done was done. Things had turned serious, but was that his fault? The trouble was, he thought as he drove out into Haddington Road, people did not understand him, women especially. They wanted things from him that it simply was not in him to give. Yes, that was the trouble, people expecting things that he did not have.

He ran a yellow light at Baggot Street and shot onto Mespil Road in a whoosh of exhaust smoke. The trees by the canal gleamed gray-green in the overcast air. The water had the look of polished tin. He pushed a hand through his hair, feeling with pleasure its silky texture. The breeze was pleasantly cool against his bruised face. What had it been but a jape, after all, posting the picture on? He had not meant to make so much mischief. That was another thing people did not understand about him: his essential innocence, his blamelessness. Nothing he did was ever meant, not really.

He was beginning to feel jumpy, and thought of stopping the car and nipping into a pub and locking himself in a cubicle in the gents' and giving himself a shot of joy juice, but decided instead to wait. He had things to do, and he needed to stay sharp until they were done. There was old Kreutzer, for a start. He was certain it was Kreutz who had sent those johnnies to beat him up, so that would have to be sorted out and retribution administered. Old Kreutz had not been nice to the girl when he had sent her to him that night of the beating to fetch his medicine. She was his angel of mercy and Kreutz had spurned her, had turned her from his door. Mind you, that was better than giving her a cup of his special brew and taking an artistic study of her, too, as he had done with poor Deirdre. How had the bloody wog found the nerve, first to try blackmailing him and then hiring a squad of thugs to give him a goingover? Yes, the Doctor was in need of a serious seeing-to.

Adelaide Road was deserted as usual this afternoon. Strange, how little movement there was about here always, only the occasional car, and hardly ever a pedestrian. Why was that? he wondered. Surely there should be hospital traffic, and there were plenty of houses and flats, so where were the occupants? He would not mind having a place here, a bolt-hole, amidst all this peace and leafy quiet. The question of where to live was much on his mind these days, since the bust-up with Kate and then Deirdre's going. The room in Percy Place had been all right for the purpose he had borrowed it for, but it would not do for a roost in the long term. There was the problem of funds, of course, which were in decidedly short supply since the salon had sung its swan song and gone under. Kreutz would have to be made to resume payments, or certain respectable husbands would shortly be receiving in the post some very interesting snaps of their lady wives. The difficulty there, of course, was that Kate, damn her, had burned the bloody photos. Nothing for it but to obtain a replacement set from Kreutz, which he imagined would entail a certain amount of arm-twisting. He was smiling to himself as he drew up to the curb and parked. What a wheeze it would be, to make Kreutz hand over the very material which Leslie would then use to squeeze money out of him. Blackmail was a word, by the way, at least when he was the one who was doing it, that he certainly did not think was ugly, despite what everyone was always saying in detective stories; on the contrary, it smacked to him of dark deeds of elegant risk and feats of derring-do. He pushed open the iron gate- eek, eek -and walked up the short path to the door, a hand in the pocket of his jacket rolling the ampoules Mrs. T. had given him through his fingers like glass dice, liking the clunky, cool, happiness-promising feel of them.

Once again Kreutz was not answering the door, and he got out his clever bit of wire and, having checked the street, went to work on the lock. In the dim hallway there was a faint but definite and distinctly unpleasant smell. He walked forward softly. He wondered where Kreutz would be hiding. Well, it did not matter; he would find him.

WHEN THE TELEPHONE RANG QUIRKE SOMEHOW KNEW, IN THE SECond before he picked up the receiver, who it was that was calling. He was at his desk in his underground office beside the body room, where Sinclair was at work preparing a corpse for cutting. It was close to six o'clock on a busy working day and the phone seemed to have been going all afternoon, shrill and demanding as a baby wanting its bottle, so what was it about this particular call, he wondered, that he should be able to tell who was on the line? Yet when the policeman announced himself-"Inspector Hackett here"-he felt the usual twinge of foreboding. Hackett took his time in coming to the point. He talked about the weather-the topic was for Hackett what mother-in-law jokes were for comedians, always dependable-saying the heat was getting him down, though the wireless was forecasting rain, which would be a welcome relief, a thing he knew he should not be saying, there were so many people out enjoying the sun, he had seen them in the Green when he was walking up here, lying on the grass, getting burned, the half of them, he had no doubt, which they would know all about come nightfall… Where was it, Quirke was wondering, that the inspector had "walked up" to? When he said where he was, at an address in Adelaide Road, Quirke had another moment of telepathic recognition, and knew the name that was coming.