Janet Evanovich - Wicked Business

We entered the store and found Nina asleep with her head on the counter next to the register.

“Hello,” Glo said. “Anybody home?”

Nina picked her head up and blinked at us. “I must have dozed off. It’s been slow tonight. Lots of people outside, but no one coming in.”

“Well, we’re here,” Glo said. “Did the frickberry come in?”

“Yes. I have it here with your name on it.” Nina reached under the counter and pulled out a small bag. “Remember not to overdo this. A pinch is all you need.”

“Do you have any arcane cookbooks?” Clara asked.

Nina adjusted her bejeweled princess crown. “I have a couple in the book section in the far corner, behind the Harry Potter wand and feather boa display.”

We all migrated to the book section.

“I could spend the whole night here looking through books,” Glo said. “ The Little Book of Pleasant Potions, An Anthology of Sixteenth-Century Witches, How to Brew Your Own Beer, 101 Ways to Use Batwing .”

Clara was paging through a small leather-bound book. “This is a replica of a book printed in 1534. It’s an entire book of marzipans and sweets.”

It was difficult to see the front of the store from where we were standing, too many free-standing shelves in the way. I heard the front door open and close and the tap of high-heels on Nina’s wood floor. Curiosity got the better of me, and I peeked around a shelf to see the vampire, zombie, witch, or whatever who had just entered.

It was Anarchy. She was still dressed in the black leather body suit. Her makeup was still fright-night. From where I was standing, I could see that Nina’s back had gone rigid. Obviously, she recognized Anarchy from the last time she was in.

“I need something to enhance power,” Anarchy said to Nina. “I recently acquired some new skills, but they seem to be leaking away.”

“Were these skills the result of a spell or potion?” Nina asked.

“No. They were the result of physical contact. Does it matter?”

“It might.” Nina pulled a small bottle off the rack behind her. “This is a performance enhancer. Very effective, I’m told. It contains a small amount of steroid.” She selected a second bottle. “This is organic powdered hoof of unicorn, and it’s frequently used to enhance abilities. It can also be used to make aspic.”

“There’s no such thing as a unicorn.”

“That’s what it says on the label.” Nina showed her the bottle. “It’s a very reliable company.”

“Fine. Wrap them up,” Anarchy said. “I’ll figure it out later.” She looked around. “I’m planning on world domination and mass chaos. I might need large quantities of hallucinogenic substances. Can that sort of thing be ordered by bulk?”

“Of course,” Nina said. “We special-order all the time.” Nina looked in my direction and did a whirly index finger next to her head.

Anarchy examined the jar of unicorn hoof. “How long does it take this to work?”

“It works pretty fast,” Nina said. “Mix it with a little orange juice. And you might want to add frickberry to prolong the effect.”

“Great. Give me some frickberry.”

Glo and Clara were spying on Anarchy, too, at this point.

“It’s a shame I didn’t have frickberry when I froze her,” Glo whispered.

Anarchy unscrewed the jar of unicorn hoof. She stuck her finger in and tasted some of the powder. “If this doesn’t work, I’m going to come back and burn your store down,” she told Nina. “I’m actually on my way to burn someone’s house down now.”

“Anyone I know?” Nina asked.

“Some insignificant cupcake baker who lied to me. Thought I could be tricked into believing I was getting something when I was getting nothing.”

“How do you know you got nothing?” Nina asked.

“I’ve had no reaction to this fraudulent object.”

“Isn’t burning someone’s house down extreme?”

“It’s only the beginning. When I find her, I’m going to extract her liver and feed it to feral cats.”

I pulled Glo and Clara back behind the shelf. “Sneak out and get help. And call Diesel. I’m not getting any bars on my cell phone in here. Go to the street and call him, and tell him to come to the Exotica Shoppe to collect Anarchy. I don’t care if he’s authorized or not. I’ll stay here and keep my eye on her.”

“I don’t want to leave you here,” Clara said. “She wants to feed your liver to feral cats.”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll stay hidden. Go!”

“Will there be anything else?” Nina asked Anarchy.

“I hear whispering,” Anarchy said, looking around. “Who else is here?”

“It’s this old building,” Nina said. “It whispers.”

There was the sound of the front door opening and closing, and I knew it was Clara and Glo leaving the shop.

“And the wind rattles the door sometimes, too,” Nina said.

Even from this distance, I could see the insanity sweep over Anarchy.

“Liar,” she said, her voice cold, her eyes crazy. “There’s someone else here.” She pulled her torch out of her Gucci hobo bag and waved it at Nina. “Tell me, and I might not set you on fire. Although, it would be fun to see that Glinda the Good Witch gown go up in flames.”

“I don’t know,” Nina said. “I fell asleep. Someone might have come in.”

Anarchy shot out ten inches of blue flame, and the puffy net veil attached to Nina’s princess crown caught fire. Nina pulled the crown off and stomped on it.

“Help!” Nina yelled.

“Shut up,” Anarchy said. “No one’s going to help you in time.”

Nina reached her hand into a jar on the counter and threw some gray powder at Anarchy. “Go away. Go away.”

“What the heck?” Anarchy said.

“It’s deathweed,” Nina said. “It’ll make you shrivel up and blow away.”

Anarchy looked down at herself. She wasn’t shriveling.

“Maybe I grabbed the wrong jar,” Nina said. “Was it gray powder or red powder?”

“Gray powder,” Anarchy said.

“Oops, my bad. That was powdered dragon horn. It’s a diuretic.”

Anarchy moved through the shop with her torch in her hand. “I know someone’s here. I can hear breathing. I can feel a heartbeat.”

I was crouched down behind the bookcase, trying to control my breathing. The heartbeat I couldn’t do much about. My heart was pounding in my chest. I heard her turn in my direction, heard the heels coming closer, and then there she was, looking down at me.

“You!” she said. “How convenient.”

She waved the torch at me, and I jumped away.

“You need to calm yourself,” I said. “You should have Nina mix you a potion. Something to take the edge off. Maybe a milk shake. I’m always in a better mood after I’ve had a milk shake.”

“You tricked me with that worthless piece of glass.”

“It was a crystal.”

“It wasn’t the stone!” she shrieked. “ I want the stone .”

As if I wasn’t panicked enough, I had the stone in my handbag. Stupid, stupid, stupid Lizzy.

“Diesel has the stone,” I said.

“I don’t believe you. I think you’re keeping it for yourself. You want the power of the stone.”

“Honestly,” I said. “The stone isn’t all that powerful.”

Nina crept up behind Anarchy and threw more powder at her. “Go away. Go away!”

Anarchy turned and glared at Nina. “You will die.” And she set Nina’s gown on fire.

Nina shrieked and ripped the gown off and ran out of the store. A piece of the gown set the feather boa display on fire, and in a flash, the entire front of the Exotica Shoppe was in flames.

“We need to get out of here,” I said to Anarchy.

“There’s no way out for you,” she said. “You’re going to die here. You’re going to be consumed by the flames. And when you’re dead, I’ll find the stone.”