APEMANTUS
To knock out an honest Athenian's brains.
TIMON
That's a deed thou'lt die for.
APEMANTUS
Right, if doing nothing be death by the law.
TIMON
How likest thou this picture, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
The best, for the innocence.
TIMON
Wrought he not well that painted it?
APEMANTUS. He wrought better that made the painter; and yet he's but a filthy piece of work.
PAINTER
APEMANTUS
Thy mother's of my generation: what's she, if I be a dog?
TIMON
Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
TIMON
An thou shouldst, thou'dst anger ladies.
APEMANTUS
O! they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.
TIMON
That's a lascivious apprehension.
APEMANTUS
So thou apprehendest it, take it for thy labour.
TIMON
How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Not so well as plain dealing, which will not cost a man a doit.
TIMON
What dost thou think 'tis worth?
APEMANTUS
Not worth my thinking. How now, poet!
POET
APEMANTUS
POET
APEMANTUS
POET
APEMANTUS
POET
APEMANTUS. Then thou liest: look in thy last work, where thou hast feigned him a worthy fellow.
POET
That's not feigned; he is so.
APEMANTUS
Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy
labour: he that loves to be flattered is worthy o' the flatterer.
Heavens, that I were a lord!
TIMON
What wouldst do then, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
Even as Apemantus does now; hate a lord with my heart.
TIMON
APEMANTUS
TIMON
APEMANTUS
That I had no angry wit to be a lord. Art not thou a merchant?
MERCHANT
APEMANTUS
Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not!
MERCHANT
If traffic do it, the gods do it.
APEMANTUS
Traffic's thy god, and thy god confound thee!
[Trumpet sounds. Enter a MESSENGER.]
TIMON
MESSENGER
'Tis Alcibiades, and some twenty horse,
All of companionship.
TIMON
Pray entertain them; give them guide to us.
[Exeunt some attendants.]
You must needs dine with me. Go not you hence
Till I have thank'd you; when dinner's done,
Show me this piece. I am joyful of your sights.
[Enter ALCIBIADES, with the his Company.]
[They salute.]
APEMANTUS
So, so, there!
Aches contract and starve your supple joints!
That there should be small love 'mongst these sweet knaves,
And all this courtesy! The strain of man's bred out
Into baboon and monkey.
ALCIBIADES
Sir, you have sav'd my longing, and I feed
Most hungerly on your sight.
TIMON
Right welcome, sir!
Ere we depart we'll share a bounteous time
In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in.
[Exeunt all but APEMANTUS.]
[Enter two LORDS.]
FIRST LORD
What time o' day is't, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
FIRST LORD
APEMANTUS
The more accursed thou that still omitt'st it.
SECOND LORD
Thou art going to Lord Timon's feast.
APEMANTUS
Ay; to see meat fill knaves and wine heat fools.
SECOND LORD
Fare thee well, fare thee well.
APEMANTUS
Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice.
SECOND LORD
APEMANTUS
Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none.
FIRST LORD
APEMANTUS. No, I will do nothing at thy bidding: make thy requests to thy friend.
SECOND LORD
Away, unpeaceable dog! or I'll spurn thee hence.
APEMANTUS
I will fly, like a dog, the heels of an ass.
[Exit.]
FIRST LORD
He's opposite to humanity. Come, shall we in,
And taste Lord Timon's bounty? he outgoes
The very heart of kindness.
SECOND LORD
He pours it out; Plutus, the god of gold,
Is but his steward: no meed but he repays
Sevenfold above itself; no gift to him
But breeds the giver a return exceeding
All use of quittance.
FIRST LORD
The noblest mind he carries
That ever govern'd man.
SECOND LORD
Long may he live in fortunes! Shall we in?
FIRST LORD
[Exeunt.]
Scene II. – The Same. A room of state in TIMON'S House
[Hautboys playing loud music. A great banquet served in; FLAVIUS and Others attending: then enter LORD TIMON, ALCIBIADES, Lords, and Senators, VENTIDIUS and Attendants. Then comes, dropping after all, APEMANTUS, discontentedly, like himself.]
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