Danielle Steel - Full circle

“I didn't say that. I said you were out of a job.” She sat down with a thump.

“Well, what the hell does that mean?” She reached into her handbag and pulled out a handkerchief and blew her nose. She was unashamed of how she felt. She loved her job, and she had from the first day. She'd been in the D.A.'s office for twelve years. That was a lifetime to give up now, and she would have preferred to give up anything but that. Anything. The district attorney felt sorry for her then, and he came around his desk to put an arm around her.

“Come on, Tan, don't take it so hard. We're going to miss you, too, you know.” A fresh burst of tears escaped from her and he smiled. It brought tears to his eyes too. She would be leaving soon, if she accepted it. And she had suffered long enough. He forced her to sit down, looked her square in the eye. “You're being offered a seat on the bench, sweetheart. Judge Roberts of the Municipal Court. How does that sound to you?”

“I am?” She stared at him, unable to absorb it all. “I am? I'm not being fired?” She started to cry all over again, and she blew her nose again, suddenly laughing at the same time. “I'm not … you're kidding me.…”

“I wish I were.” But he looked delighted for her and she suddenly gave a small scream, realizing what he'd done to her.

“Oh, you son of a bitch … I thought you were firing me!” He laughed.

“I apologize. I just thought I'd create a little excitement in your life.”

“Shit.” She looked at him in disbelief and blew her nose again but she was too stunned at what he was telling her to even be angry at him. “My God … how did that happen?”

“I've seen it coming for a long time, Tan. I knew it would happen eventually. I just didn't know when. And I'll lay you odds you're in superior court by this time next year. You're perfect for it after your track record here.”

“Oh, Larry … my God … an appointment to the bench…” The words were almost beyond her ken. “I just can't believe it.” She looked up at him. “I'm thirty-seven years old, and I never even thought of that.”

“Well, thank God someone did.” He held out a hand and shook hers as she beamed. “Congratulations, Tan, you deserve every bit of it. They want to induct you in three weeks.”

“So soon? What about my work … Christ, I have a case that goes to trial on the twenty-third…” She knit her brows and he laughed at her and waved a hand magnanimously.

“Forget it, Tan. Why don't you take some time off, and get ready for the new job? Just dump it all on someone else's desk for a change. Use this week to wrap up and then get yourself sorted out at home.”

“What do I have to do?” She still looked stunned and he smiled at her. “Shop for robes?”

“No.” He laughed. “But I think you may have some house hunting to do. Do you still live in Marin?” He knew she'd lived with someone for the past couple of years, but he wasn't sure if she'd kept her own place in town or not. She nodded at him. “You've got to have a place in town, Tan.”

“How come?”

“It's a condition of being a San Francisco judge. You can keep the other place, but your main residence has to be here.”

“Do I really have to stick to that?” She looked upset.

“Pretty much. During the week anyway.”

“Christ.” She stared into space for a minute, thinking of Jack. Suddenly her whole life had turned upside down. “I'll have to do something about that.”

“You've got plenty to do in the next few weeks, and first of all you have to respond.” He put on an official voice. “Tana Roberts, do you accept the seat on the bench that has been offered you, to serve as a municipal court judge in the city and county of San Francisco?”

She looked at him in awe. “I do.”

He stood up and smiled at her, happy at the good fortune that had befallen her so deservedly. “Good luck, Tan. We'll miss you here.” Tears sprang to her eyes again and she was still in shock when she went back to her own desk and sat down. There were a thousand things she had to do. Empty her desk, look over her caseload, brief someone else about the cases she was passing on, call Harry, tell Jack … Jack … ! she suddenly looked at her watch and grabbed the phone. The secretary said he was in a meeting but Tana told her to get him anyway.

“Hi, babe, you okay?”

“Yes.” She sounded breathless on the phone. She didn't know where to start. “You won't believe what happened, Jack.”

“I wondered what the hell was going on when they called you at home. What is it, Tan?”

She took a deep breath. “They just offered me a seat on the bench.” There was total silence at the other end.

“At your age?”

“Isn't that incredible?” She was beaming now. “I mean, would you believe … I never thought.…”

“I'm happy for you, Tan.” He sounded quiet, but pleased, and then she remembered what the D.A. had said. She had to find a place in town, but she didn't want to tell him that on the phone.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I'm still in shock. Is Harry there?”

“No, he's not in today.”

“He's sure out a lot lately, isn't he? What's up?”

“I think he's in Tahoe with Ave and the kids for a long weekend. You can call him there.”

“I'll wait till he gets back. I want to see his face.” But the face she didn't want to see was Jack's when she told him she had to move out of Marin.

“I wondered about that after you called.” He looked sad when she told him that night. He was obviously upset and so was she, but she was terribly excited too. She had even called her mother, and Jean had been stunned. “My daughter, a judge?” She had been thrilled for Tana. Maybe things did work out in the end, and she had met Jack once and he seemed nice to her. She hoped they would get married eventually, even if Tana was too old for children now. But as a judge, maybe that didn't matter as much. Even Arthur had been thrilled for her. Jean had explained it to him several times.

Tana looked at Jack now. “How do you feel about living in town during the week?”

“Not great.” He was honest with her. “It's so damn comfortable for us here.”

“I thought I'd look for something small that we don't have to worry about. An apartment, a condo, a studio, even.…” As though she could pretend it wasn't happening but he shook his head.

“We'd go nuts after all the room we're used to here.” For two years they had lived like kings, with a huge master bedroom, offices for each of them, a living room, dining room, guest room for Barb, sweeping view of the Bay. A studio would feel like a jail cell after that.

“Well, I've got to do something, Jack, and I only have three weeks.” She looked faintly annoyed at him, he wasn't making it easier for her, and she wondered if the appointment bothered him. It would be natural that it would, at least at first, but she hardly had time to think of that in the next few weeks. She divided her case load up, emptied her desk, and ran around looking at every condo available until the real estate agent called halfway into the second week. She had something “very special” she wanted Tana to see, in Pacific Heights.

“It's not exactly what you had in mind, but it's worth a look.” And when she went, it was more than that. It was a dollhouse that took her breath away, a tiny gingerbread jewel, painted beige with dollops of cinnamon and cream. It was absolutely impeccable, with inlaid floors, marble fireplaces in just about every room, huge closets, perfect lighting, double French doors, and a view of the Bay. Tana would never have thought of looking for something like it, but now that she was here, there was no way she could resist.

“How much is the rent?” She knew it would be ferocious. The place looked like something out of a magazine.