Danielle Steel: Passion's Promise

“I’ll bet you fart in bed.”

“Alejandro, you’re awful. That’s a highly unsuitable remark.”

“Pobrecita.” He was a ceaseless tease when he was in a good mood, but she liked it. He had been so quiet on the plane, but now the atmosphere was festive again.

“What I was trying to tell you, Mr. Vidal, before you got outrageous …”

“Outrageous? Fancy that!” He had switched from tacos to root beer and took a long swallow.

“What I’m trying to tell you …” she lowered her voice, “is that the weird thing is, I have really come to need you. Isn’t that strange? I mean, I’d be totally lost without you. It’s so nice knowing you’re around.”

He was silent, with a distant look in his eyes. “Yeah. I feel that way too,” he said, finally. “It feels funny when I don’t see you for a couple of days. I like knowing you’re okay.”

“It’s nice to know that you care. I guess that’s what I feel, and it feels good. And I worry that maybe someone’s killed you on the subway when you don’t call.

“You know, that’s one of the things I like best about you.”

“What?”

“Your unfailing optimism. Your faith in the human race … killed on the subway…. Asshole. Why would I get killed on the subway?”

“Everyone else does. Why shouldn’t you?”

“Gee. Terrific. You know what I think, Kezia?”

“What?”

“That you fart in bed.”

“Oh, so we’re back on that again, are we? Alejandro, you’re a shit. And a rude, outrageous shit at that! Now drive me to the bay. And what’s more, I do not fart in bed!”

“You do!”

“I don’t!”

“You do!”

“Ask Luke!”

“I will!”

“You dare!”

“Aha! Then he’d tell me the truth, wouldn’t he! You do!”

“I do not! Damn you!”

The debate continued as he backed out of the drive-in, and finally dissolved in gales of their laughter. They chuckled and giggled and teased the remaining few blocks to the bay, and then they fell talent. It lay stretched before them like a bolt of darkest blue velvet, and there was a veil of fog high overhead, not low enough to obstruct the view from across the bay, but just enough so that it sat suspended on the spires of the bridge. A foghorn hooted sadly far off in the distance, and the lights around the rims of the shore sparkled.

“Lady, one of these days I’m going to move back here.”

“No, you won’t. You’re in love with your work at the center in Harlem.”

“That’s what you think. That bullshit is getting to be more than I want to have to deal with every day. People just don’t get as crazy out here. You never know, maybe that interview I have lined up out here will pan out.”

“And then what?”

“We’ll see.”

She nodded pensively, unnerved by the idea that he might leave New York. But it was probably just talk, to let off some steam. She decided to ignore what he had said. It was safer that way.

“When I see it like this, I want to stop time and stay in this moment forever.”

“Crazy girl. Don’t we all wish we could do that. Did you ever come down here at dawn?” She shook her head. “It’s much better then. This city is like a beautiful woman. It changes, it has moods, it gets all gray and baggy-eyed, and then turns beautiful and you fall in love with her all over again.”

“Alejandro, who do you love?” She hadn’t thought of that since the day they’d shared hot chocolate in Yorkville. He was almost always alone, or with her.

“That’s a strange question.”

“No, it’s not. Isn’t there someone? Even an old flame from the past?”

“No, none of those. Oh, I don’t know, Kezia. I love a lot of people. Some of the kids I work with, you, Luke, other friends, my family. A whole bunch of people.”

“And too many. It’s so safe to love lots of people. It’s a lot harder to love just one. I never did … until Luke. He taught me so much about that. He isn’t afraid of that the way I was … and maybe you are. Isn’t there even one woman you love, as a woman? Or maybe a few?” She had no right to ask, and she knew it, but she wanted to know.

“No. Not lately. Maybe one of these days.”

“You ought to give it some thought. Maybe you’ll meet someone out here sometime.” But deep in her heart, she hoped he wouldn’t. He deserved the best sort of woman there was, one who could give him back all that he gave. He deserved that, because he gave so much. But secretly, she knew that she hoped he wouldn’t find her just yet. She wasn’t ready to lose him. Things were so lovely just as they were. And if he had someone, she would lose him; it would be inevitable.

“What are you thinking about, little one? You look so sad.” He thought he knew why, but he didn’t.

“Just silly stuff drifting through my head. Nothing much.”

“Don’t worry so much. You’ll see him tomorrow.”

She only smiled in response.

Chapter 32

They saw it as they rounded a bend on the freeway. San Quentin. Across a body of water, a finger of the bay that had poked its way inland, it stood at the water’s edge, looking ugly and raw. Kezia kept it in view the rest of the way, until finally it vanished again as they left the freeway and followed an old country road around a series of bends.

The mammoth fortress that was San Quentin took her breath away when they saw it again. It seemed to stand with its body jutting into her face, like a giant bully or an evil creature in a hideous dream. One felt instantly dwarfed beneath the turrets and towers, the endless walls that soared upwards, dotted only here and there by tiny windows. It was built like a dungeon, and was the color of rancid mustard. It was not only fearsome, but it reeked of anger and terror, loneliness, sorrow, loss. Tall metal fences topped with barbed wire surrounded the encampment, and in all possible directions stood gun towers manned by machine-gun-toting guards. Guards patrolled the entrance, and people emerged wearing sad faces, some drying their eyes with bits of handkerchief or tissue. It was a place one could never forget. It even boasted a long dry moat, with still active drawbridges to the gun towers that kept the guards safe from potential “attack.”

As she looked at the place, Kezia wondered how they could be so fearful. Who could possibly get free of that place? Yet now and then people did. And seeing the place made her suddenly know why they’d try anything, even death, to escape. It made her understand why Luke had done what he had to help the men he called his brothers. Prisoners of places like that had to be remembered by someone. She was only sorry it had been Luke.

She also saw a row of tidy houses with flowers beds out front. The houses stood inside the barbed wire fences, in the shadow of the gun towers, at the feet of the prison. And she guessed, accurately, that they were the houses of guards, living there with their wives and their children. The thought made her shudder. It would be like living in a graveyard.

The parking lot was rutted with potholes and strewn with litter. There were only two parking spaces left when they got there, and a long line of people snaked past the guardhouse at the main gate. It took them two and a half hours to reach the head of the line, where they were superficially searched and then herded on to the next gate, to have their pockets ransacked again.

The gun tower stood watchfully over them as they walked into the main building to sit with the rest of the visitors in a smoke-filled, overheated waiting room that looked like a train station. There were no sounds of laughter in that room, no whispered snatches of conversation, only the occasional clinking of coins in the coffee machine, the whoosh of the water fountain or the brief spurt of a match. Each visitor hugged to himself his own fears and lonely thoughts.