Radclyffe - Crossroads

Too late. She was too late. Annie’s vision blurred and she turned away. There, at the end of the hall—an exit sign. “Of course. I can find my way out.”

“No! Annie wait.” Hollis grasped Annie’s forearm, turned her. “I mean, if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes, I’ll drive you home. You can wait in the lounge.”

Hollis’s eyes held uncharacteristic uncertainty.

“I’ll wait,” Annie said softly. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait.”

Chapter Twenty-eight

Hollis pulled to the curb in front of Annie’s house, but she didn’t turn off the engine. She gripped the wheel and stared straight ahead. Annie waited for Hollis to say something and, after a moment, realized it was her turn to take a chance. Hollis had been the one to drop her shields and reach out at every step, and now she was hurting.

“Remember I told you I was a coward?” Annie said.

Hollis glanced at her, still gripping the wheel. At close to three a.m., the only light in the car was a slanting sliver of moonlight. Annie couldn’t see Hollis’s eyes, and they always spoke the truth. Not knowing if Hollis was angry or hurt, or worse, beyond caring, Annie pushed on, trembling at the feeling of vulnerability she’d thought she would never experience again. Perhaps that was the price of happiness—risking the pain.

“I’m still afraid,” Annie said. When Hollis made a low grumble in her throat, Annie pulled her hand from the wheel and held it tightly, hoping Hollis wouldn’t disappear before she said what really mattered. “I am still afraid, and I hope that one day I won’t be. But what I’m afraid of now isn’t what has made me shut away parts of myself since before Callie was born.”

“Annie,” Hollis murmured, her voice tender. “You don’t need to—”

“I do.” Annie shook her head. Maybe all was not lost. Not yet. “I need to get this out. I need to say this to you.”

Hollis nodded. “All right.”

“I thought if I made it so I never needed anyone ever again, I would never be helpless again. I would never be lost or deserted or devastated by betrayal.” Annie cradled Hollis’s hand in her lap, needing some small part of Hollis closer, drawing courage from Hollis’s solid presence. “I don’t think I was completely wrong. I don’t think I’ll ever be dependent on anyone again—not the way I was. But needing is not the same as being hopelessly dependent.”

“I wouldn’t abandon you,” Hollis said gruffly. “I can’t promise I won’t hurt you by mistake, but never intentionally. I swear that.”

“I know that. I do. I’ve always known that, I just didn’t trust myself to be strong enough not to lose myself.” Annie laughed shakily. “And I didn’t realize how crazy falling in love was going to make me.”

“Is that what you did?” Hollis murmured. She shut off the ignition and slid her arm around Annie’s shoulder, tugging Annie closer until Annie’s breast pressed to Hollis’s side. “Is it, Annie?”

Annie braced her palm in the center of Hollis’s chest, leaning on her, steadying herself, connecting them. “Yes. That’s exactly what I’ve done.” Annie kissed her, slowly, softly, and finally drew back just enough to whisper, “I love you. I love you so very much.”

Hollis shuddered and closed her eyes. The arm around Annie’s shoulders quivered. “If I let you in,” Hollis said, her voice a hoarse groan, “I’ll need you more than you could know.”

Annie stroked Hollis’s face. “Then we’ll be even, won’t we? Because I’ll need you too. So much. And trust you, Hollis. I’ll trust you every day for the rest of my life.”

Hollis framed Annie’s face, her surgeon’s hands strong and sure. Hollis kissed her, tenderly at first, then harder and deeper. A possessive kiss, one that took Annie beyond fear to joy. Annie fisted her hands in Hollis’s shirt and kissed Hollis just as fiercely as Hollis did her, devouring her mouth with a hunger she hadn’t known she harbored. When the coiling tension in her belly grew so huge she couldn’t breathe, she broke away.

“Will you come inside?” Annie gasped. “Will you come inside and be with me?”

“Where’s Callie?”

“With Suzanne. They don’t expect me to come for her until the morning.” Annie shivered, desire a living beast inside her. “Please, Hollis. I need you.”

I need you. The words sliced through Hollis, severing her from the pain that anchored her to the past, freeing her to risk living. “Yes. Yes, Annie.”

Hollis met Annie on the sidewalk and grasped her hand, threading their fingers together. She followed Annie up the sidewalk and across the porch, her heart thundering, her blood roaring. Annie fumbled her keys and almost dropped them at the door. Hollis cradled Annie’s wrist, one arm around her waist, unwilling to break their connection. “It’s okay, we’ve got plenty of time.”

“No we don’t.” Annie’s voice shook. “If we don’t get inside where you can touch me in the next thirty seconds, I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.”

Hollis laughed, wild exhilaration racing through her. “I only need ten seconds.”

“Maybe,” Annie muttered. “But I want more.”

Hollis kissed her neck. “Anything you want.”

When Annie got the door open, Hollis followed her in, slammed the door, and braced her back against it. She dragged Annie into her arms. “I love the way you fit.”

“Me too.” Annie’s arms came around her neck, their legs entwined, their mouths met.

Hollis cupped Annie’s ass and guided Annie against her thigh, sliding her tongue deep inside her mouth, aching to be inside her everywhere. Annie jerked the tail of Hollis’s shirt out of her jeans and slid her hand onto Hollis’s belly. The first touch of flesh on flesh had Hollis’s head slamming back against the door.

“Christ,” Hollis groaned. “I need you.”

“Yes.” Annie grabbed Hollis’s hands and pulled her across the living room toward a hallway leading past the kitchen. Hollis stumbled after her, the triumphant light in Annie’s eyes guiding her. At the bedroom threshold Annie released her hands, backed a few steps away, and grasped the bottom of her shirt. Watching Hollis, Annie pulled her shirt off over her head and dropped it. Hollis stumbled to a halt, paralyzed by the unexpected beauty of Annie, naked in a shaft of silvery light. Her mouth went dry, her legs shook, and every thought except one fled her mind. Annie. She didn’t take her eyes off Annie as she shed her own shirt and pushed her jeans down, needing to get out of her clothes so she could feel Annie against her everywhere.

Annie paused as she pushed her trousers over her hips. “Hollis, you’re the first.”

“What?” All Hollis could see were Annie’s breasts rising tight nippled and full, mesmerizing in their exquisiteness. Annie’s belly was long and sloped, the incision Hollis had made in it hidden by the golden curls between her thighs. Annie was young and lovely and gloriously female. Hollis ached to drop to her knees and bury her face against Annie’s belly. She took one step forward until only inches separated them. “The first what?”

“The first woman, the only woman,” Annie said.

“You’re…I’m…” Hollis drew Annie close and kissed her forehead, her eyes, her mouth. “Annie. I love you.”

“Then teach me to love you.”

“You already know how.” Hollis undressed Annie the rest of the way and knelt, cradling Annie’s hips. She kissed her thighs and her belly, then pressed her cheek where her mouth had been. Annie’s hands came into her hair, fitful and restless. She kissed Annie’s belly, open-mouthed, tasting her. “I want you everywhere, so much. If there’s anything you need, anything—”