Radclyffe - Crossroads

Kathy gripped her husband’s hand. “Can Frank—”

“Yes.” Hollis turned to Kathy’s husband. “You can stay at the head of the table with anesthesia while we do the delivery. Both of you will be able to see your baby as soon as we get her out.”

Annie squeezed Kathy’s arm. “This is the best thing. You can trust Hollis on this.”

“If it were you—” Kathy said, looking at Annie.

“I’d do whatever Dr. Monroe advised. I trust her.”

The words settled in Hollis’s heart like a soothing caress. Annie’s trust was the one thing in the world she wanted. At least here in the hospital, she had it. “We’ve got a plan, then.”

Annie smiled at Hollis. “Can you get me in too?”

“Yes.” Hollis nodded. “Come with me.”

*

“Here you go,” Hollis said, handing Annie a pair of faded green scrubs.

“Thank you.” Annie took the scrubs and put her bag in the bench. The locker room was empty and their voices echoed hollowly. Now that they were alone, she was hyperaware of Hollis’s every move. Hollis looked so damn good. Her hair was a little longer and wilder, her body a bit leaner. Her face was sharper, more austerely handsome. Annie ached to touch her. She gripped the scrubs to her chest.

Hollis opened a narrow metal locker. “You can put your clothes in here with mine.”

Annie hesitated to take off her shirt, then realized she was being foolish. Hollis, as if knowing undressing in front of her would make Annie uncomfortable, turned away to give her privacy. Hollis always seem to know what she needed. Annie quickly changed into the fresh scrubs and hung her clothes next to Hollis’s in the locker, a strangely intimate thing. “All set.”

“I don’t expect any problems,” Hollis said as they walked through the silent corridor to the OR, “but should there be a complication, the nurses will ask the husband to leave the room. You can stay if you feel that you want to.”

“All right. I appreciate you doing this.”

Hollis cut her a sharp glance. “Annie, she’s your patient too. Besides, the more all of us know about every aspect of our treatments, the better we’re going to be able to take care of our patients together.”

Annie smiled. “I think you’ve mellowed.”

Hollis laughed and some of the shadows disappeared from her eyes. “If I have, it’s your fault.”

“I’m not going to apologize for that,” Annie said, thinking of all the things she did want to apologize for. When she’d realized Kathy was going to need to deliver in the hospital, the only person she’d thought of was Hollis. She’d thought of Hollis every day since the last time she’d seen her. She’d wanted to call her, every single day, and in the last few days she’d gotten as far as scrolling to Hollis’s number. The only thing that kept her from completing the call was the fear of discovering she’d lost her chance to have what she hadn’t realized she’d wanted. She wanted more than friendship, and she wanted Hollis.

Hollis stopped in front of a line of stainless steel sinks with high curved faucets operated by foot pedals. “I’m going to scrub while they get her prepped. The nurses will show you where to stand.”

“Thanks.”

A nurse came out, nodded to Annie, and said to Hollis, “We’re ready, Hollis.”

“Be right there. Nora, this is Annie. She’s a midwife. Can you show her where to go?”

“Sure. Come on in with me.”

Annie took her place by Kathy’s right shoulder while the nurses prepped her abdomen with Betadine and draped everything with sterile sheets and towels. They stretched a drape across Kathy’s chest and attached it to IV poles, creating a barrier between the nonsterile and sterile areas. Past the sheet, the mound of Kathy’s belly was highlighted by the brilliant OR lights. Kathy was sedated, but aware. Her pupils were large, her expression lax. Frank stood on the opposite side of the narrow OR table, his hand on Kathy’s shoulder. His eyes above the surgical mask were calm. Annie smiled at him, even though she knew he couldn’t see most of her face. His eyes smiled back.

Hollis came through the swinging door, her hands held up in front of her. One of the nurses walked to her with an open gown, and Hollis slid her arms through the sleeves. The nurse helped her into gloves, and Hollis stepped up to the table.

“Ready, Andrea?” Hollis said.

“Go ahead.” The anesthesiologist bent down and murmured to Kathy. “We’re going to get your beautiful baby now.”

“Okay,” Kathy said slowly. “Sooner the better.”

Annie couldn’t take her eyes off Hollis. She didn’t need to see Hollis’s face to know she was completely focused on what she was doing. Her eyes above her mask were intense and strong. When she held out her left hand, the nurse slapped a scalpel into it without being asked and passed Hollis a snowy surgical sponge. Hollis made the incision and a bright, thin scarlet line blossomed on the mound of Kathy’s abdomen. Annie held her breath as everything surged into kaleidoscopic motion—Hollis’s fingers flowing over the incision, gleaming clamps passed from hand to hand, brilliant colors blooming. Tissues parted and the deep maroon uterus, lush with blood, rose into the wound bearing its astonishing contents.

“Get the suction ready,” Hollis said.

The neonatologist, who had come into the room five minutes earlier, moved closer. Hollis made a small incision in the uterus and the nurse handed her a large pair of scissors. The cut was rapid, and a gush of golden fluid flowed out of the uterus. Hollis slid her hand inside. A head appeared in the palm of Hollis’s hand, then shoulders, and then the entire body slid out into her waiting hands, the cord a white-blue coil as thick as Annie’s thumb still tethering the baby to her mother. Hollis cradled the baby in her hands while the nurse suctioned her mouth. The tiny chest expanded. The baby’s blue color blushed pink and she emitted a sharp cry of protest. Hollis laughed, a deep sound of pure pleasure, and Annie’s heart swelled.

Hollis rapidly clamped the cord and passed the baby to the waiting neonatologist. He quickly wrapped the baby in a sterile towel and moved to the head of the table.

“Here’s your daughter,” he said, holding her up so Kathy and Frank could see her.

Annie gazed at the baby and then at Hollis, who looked directly at her with a question in her eyes.

“She’s beautiful,” Annie said.

“Yes,” Hollis said, still holding Annie’s gaze.

Annie’s breath stopped and didn’t resume until Hollis turned back to the incision. She had been in Kathy’s place once, and how lucky she had been to have Hollis caring for her. Hollis, whose heart—generous and unwavering—matched her skill. How could she ever have doubted her? God, how could she ever have let her go?

After Hollis finished the surgery, Annie followed her out into the hall. “That was amazing. They’re both doing so well.”

Hollis stripped off her mask. “It was a good call on your part. I don’t think that baby would have come out without trouble otherwise.”

“Thanks. I liked watching you work.”

Hollis blushed. “Likewise.”

“Well.” Annie, suddenly at a loss for words, took a breath. “I’m glad I could see that. I’m glad I could see the baby.” She laughed. “It wasn’t hard to imagine that Callie looked like that.”

“She did, only like I said, more hair.” Hollis laughed.

Annie plunged on, heedless of the risk. She was more afraid of what she’d lose if she didn’t try. “I’m glad you were there back then—not just because you took such good care of us, Hollis, but because you were the one to see her first.”

Hollis swallowed. “I have to check Kathy in the recovery room.”