Radclyffe - Crossroads

“Okay.”

“Thanks, Dan,” Annie said when the tall, thin man with skin the color of burnished teak gave her a cup of coffee. She sipped it gratefully and slumped into a chair at the long wooden table. She’d been too busy most of the night to think of Hollis for more than a minute or two, and her work had helped her push her sadness aside. But she didn’t have work to do now, and Callie’s enthusiasm about her bicycle brought every minute of the day before back to her in vivid relief.

Hollis had been so good with Callie, and Callie was obviously enchanted with her. Unfortunately, so was she. Fortunately, enchantment was transitory.

She managed not to think of Hollis for the rest of the meal. After making plans with Suzanne and Dan to meet at her place later for lunch and an outing to the park with the kids and their bicycles, she took Callie home.

“Mommy is going to take a nap. You can play on the back porch and in the backyard, but not out front. You don’t go out the gate, okay?”

“I won’t.”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m sleeping, I’ll know if you budge.”

Callie laughed. “Okay. I won’t. I promise.”

Annie lay down on the bed fully clothed, not even bothering to close the blinds in her room. Despite what she’d told Callie, she was far from ready to fall asleep. Her mind was racing. Hollis’s voice played through her mind.

Someday you’re going to have to trust your feelings.

She did trust her feelings, but she trusted her experience more. Before she could over think her decision, she grabbed her cell off the dresser and called Barb.

“Annie?” Barb said, obviously having checked caller ID. “Problem?”

“Not really,” Annie said. “I’m sorry, Barb, but I’m not going to be able to finish the work on the exploratory committee for you. I’m not the right person for it. For what it’s worth, I think if the rest of the group is anything like Hollis Monroe, they won’t be difficult to work with.”

“So you’re endorsing the joint-clinic project?”

Annie hesitated. She thought of Hollis in the ER with Linda, remembered Hollis telling her about her struggle to avoid surgery on the bleeding mother, remembered Hollis with her that night years before. Trust me. “I don’t know what all the other physicians are like, but Hollis is ethically beyond reproach and I think her input will be invaluable.”

“Well, that’s a ringing endorsement.” Barb paused. “So you’re behind formalizing the association?”

Annie sighed, never having believed she would say this. “My vote is in favor.”

“And yet you can’t tell me why you want to be replaced?”

“Let’s just say it’s personal and leave it at that.”

When she ended the call, Annie closed her eyes, hoping for sleep. She ought to feel better, now that everything was settled. Maybe when she woke up, she would.

Chapter Twenty-six

Just before nine on Monday morning, Hollis walked down the hallway of the OB outpatient clinic, preparing herself to see Annie. She hadn’t stopped thinking of her the entire weekend. She’d never expected to get all tangled up with a woman this way, so hungry for her she ached, and she’d spent a lot of time reminding herself why she’d avoided intimate relationships for almost ten years. Sonja had walked out on her during one of the worst periods of her life. Rob’s wife had walked out on his memory, tearing a hole in their family and leaving even more sorrow in her wake. Everyone had been devastated, but Hollis had been destroyed. She didn’t care if her heart never recovered—she never planned to give it to anyone again. She knew better than to get attached and she’d momentarily forgotten, but she had things in perspective now. She knew what she was about. She and Annie got along well. They respected each other professionally. Hell, she even felt connected to Annie’s daughter. Callie was a bright flame who brought joy to her spirit every time she looked at her. There was no reason, absolutely none, that she and Annie couldn’t have a meaningful friendship. She could handle it. So could Annie. They were adults.

Feeling settled, satisfied with her decision, she rounded the corner and stopped at the counter fronting the nurses’ station. An instant pang of disappointment twisted through her when she didn’t see Annie, but she quickly pushed it aside. A large stack of charts waited for her attention at the end of the counter. One of the OB nurses came out of a patient room and put another chart on the stack.

“Hi, Jackie,” Hollis said, reaching for a chart. “Is Annie Colfax here yet? The midwife?”

Jackie gave her an odd look, and a woman sitting at the desk on the far side of the counter—a small blonde Hollis had taken to be a utilization review nurse or consulting physician—rose and held out her hand.

“Hi, I’m Suzanne Turner. I’m the midwife from GWWC. I’ll be taking Annie’s place.”

Hollis dropped the chart onto the counter. “What do you mean, taking Annie’s place?”

“We had to rearrange the schedule—she’s overcommitted. Besides,” Suzanne said brightly, “our supervisor thought it would be a good idea for us to rotate personnel while we’re in the information-gathering stage.”

A cold fist of anger settled in Hollis’s chest, pushing down on her diaphragm, making it hard for her to take a breath. Annie was walking out on her. Without even a good-bye. How could she just walk away? Like they’d never touched, never shared something special. For a second Hollis couldn’t think—couldn’t feel anything except betrayal. But Annie wasn’t Sonja, wasn’t Nancy. Annie had a heart, if only she’d believe it.

Hollis almost turned and left, but the stack of charts caught her eye. Every one of those files represented a woman who needed her—a woman waiting behind a closed door or in a hard plastic seat in the waiting area. Waiting for her.

Hollis picked up the chart she’d dropped. “Let’s get started, then. We’ve got a full morning.”

*

Callie came running down the sidewalk, waving a colorful sheet of paper like a flag. Seeing her unvarnished joy lifted some of the misery from Annie’s heart. “Hi, baby. What have you got there?”

“Look what I drew today!” Callie thrust the paper forward and Annie dutifully took it.

The plain sheet of construction paper was covered with a vivid crayon drawing in the sprawling perspective of a child. The central figure was obviously Callie, a small redhead with pink glasses holding on to a bright purple bicycle. Her smile was huge. Flanking her were two taller figures, one with dark hair, one with red-gold hair the same color as the little girl’s. Annie’s throat closed. Annie and Hollis and Callie. She wet her lips, willed her hands not to shake as she slowly lowered the paper. “This is great, Callie. I guess you told everyone about your bicycle, right?”

Callie nodded vigorously. “I’m going to ride it when I get home, okay?”

“Absolutely.”

“Is Hollis coming over to ride with me?”

“I don’t think so, baby.” Annie held out her hand. “Come on. Let’s head home. I think we’ve got enough time for Mommy to go to the bike store and pick out a bicycle so I can ride with you.”

Callie’s eyes brightened, dispelling the shadow of disappointment that had settled there when she’d heard that Hollis wasn’t coming. Just seeing how much Hollis’s absence affected Callie after so short a time made Annie even more certain she’d made the right decision. Even if she was willing to risk her own heartbreak, she wouldn’t risk Callie’s. “Want to walk home through the park?”

“Yes. Did you remember the duck food?”

“Always.”