Connie Willis - All Clear

“Settled? What are you talking about?”

“Remember how you saw me in Trafalgar Square on VE-Day? I wasn’t there because we hadn’t been rescued. I was there because I stayed behind.”

“No, you weren’t. There could be a dozen other reasons why you were there that day. You could have been there on some other assignment, or—”

Eileen laughed, a clear, happy laugh. “Oh, Polly, you know Mr. Dunworthy would never let me go anywhere again after this. If I want to go to VE-Day, I’m going to need to do it from here. Isn’t that right, Mr. Dunworthy?” she asked, smiling at him.

He was looking solemnly at her.

He’s going to let her stay, Polly thought incredulously. But he can’t.

“This is ridiculous, Eileen,” she said. “I don’t even know for certain it was you. I was halfway across Trafalgar Square. It might have been someone else entirely—”

“In my green coat,” Eileen said.

“Someone could have bought it at an applecart upset,” Polly said. “You said yourself it was perfect for a redhead.”

Eileen shook her head. “It was me. I have to be there so everything else can happen.”

“But there must be some other way,” Polly said, appealing to Colin. “You can’t let her—”

“That isn’t the only reason I’m staying,” Eileen said. “There’s Alf and Binnie. I promised the vicar, Mr. Goode, that I’d look after them, and I can’t let him down.”

“But there must be someone else who could take them, the rector or Mrs. Wyvern or someone,” Polly said, knowing even as she said it that it was impossible. She had already lost this argument when Eileen took them in.

“There isn’t,” Eileen said. “Binnie’s growing up far too fast as it is, and by next year England will be overrun with American soldiers. I can’t abandon her—or Alf

—in the middle of a war.”

Which they might not live through even if you do stay, Polly thought. Neither Alf nor Binnie had been with Eileen on VE-Day in Trafalgar Square. But if she told her that, it would only make her more determined to stay and try to protect them.

“And if Alf’s left on his own,” Eileen was saying, “he’s likely to end up destroying the entire space-time continuum.” She smiled. “Don’t you see? I can’t leave them. There’s still a war on. And they saved my life.”

And mine, Polly thought. And England’s. And knew there was no way to talk Eileen out of this.

“But you hate it here,” she said tearfully. “The raids and the rationing and the dreadful food. You said believing you’d be able to go home someday was the only thing that kept you going.”

“I know, but wars require sacrifices. And this spot in history’s not so bad. It is, after all, England’s finest hour. And I’ll get to see VE-Day, which I always wanted to go to.”

“But—”

“Please try to understand,” Eileen said, taking Polly’s hands. “You’ve done your job by saving Sir Godfrey. My job’s not finished yet, and I can’t do it unless I stay here.”

“That isn’t true. Colin, tell her she has to—”

“He can’t,” Eileen said. “He knows I stayed.” She looked at him again. “Don’t you?”

Colin didn’t answer.

“Mr. Dunworthy knows it, too,” Eileen said, turning to him. “That’s why you risked your life coming back here to the theater with Colin instead of staying at St.

Paul’s and going through to Oxford, isn’t it? To say goodbye to me?”

“Yes.”

“But … I don’t understand,” Polly said, looking helplessly from one to the other. “What’s she talking about?”

“I was the one who told Colin where we were,” Eileen said. “Wasn’t I?”

And when he didn’t answer, “He found me after the war, and I told him where you were. He’d never have been able to find us otherwise. So you see, I’ve got to stay. I’ve got to be here when he comes to look for me.”

“Is that true, Colin?” Polly said. “Did Eileen tell you where we were?”

He still didn’t answer.

“Did she?” Polly demanded. “Tell me. Did she stay here in the past to tell you we were here?”

“Yes,” he said. “She did.”

She turned on Eileen. “You sacrificed yourself to save Mr. Dunworthy and me?” she said angrily. “How could you do that? How could you think I—?”

“It wasn’t a sacrifice. Polly, you have no idea how much I’ve despised being helpless, how much I’ve hated knowing you and Mr. Dunworthy were going to die and not being able to stop it. You saved my life that night at Padgett’s and, oh, dozens of times since then—especially after Mike died—but I couldn’t do anything to and not being able to stop it. You saved my life that night at Padgett’s and, oh, dozens of times since then—especially after Mike died—but I couldn’t do anything to save yours.”

She clasped Polly’s hands. “But there was something I could—I can—do. I can stay here. I can find Colin and tell him where you are,” she said, her face radiant.

“And I’m so glad!”

That’s what they were telling her while I was gone, Polly thought, remembering Eileen wiping away tears as she came up the aisle.

“You shouldn’t have told her,” she said bitterly to them. “It’s not fair to put a burden like that on her—”

“No one told me,” Eileen said. “I knew it the moment I saw Colin.”

Just as I knew it was him, Polly thought, that he’d come to rescue us.

And that was why he had looked so sad, so careworn. Because he knew Eileen wasn’t coming with them. Because he’d already seen her, years from now. She had already told him where they were.

It’s already happened, she thought, all of it, Eileen’s staying here and VE-Day and Colin’s asking her where we were. It’s all already happened, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.

But she had to try. “I’m not going without you, Eileen,” she said.

“You’re right, you’re not. I’ll always be there with you,” Eileen said briskly, as if she were sending her off to school like Alf and Binnie. “Now go. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Oh, my goodness, what about ENSA? Mr. Tabbitt—”

“I’ll tell him you were transferred to a touring troupe or something. Go.”

There was a whistling screech and then a crump, and the theater shook slightly.

Eileen looked up at the ceiling. “The raids sound like they’re growing worse, and I won’t have you blown up now after all the work I’ve done—will do—to get you out of here. And if I know Alf and Binnie, they’ll be banned from the stage at any moment and come tearing up here to ask all sorts of questions, and you’ll never get away in time.”

She hugged Mr. Dunworthy. “Goodbye. You take care to rest and get well.”

“I will, my dear.”

“Polly, eat lots of eggs and bacon for me, and heaps of sugar.” She hugged her tightly. “And be happy.”

“ ‘This is a comedy, not a tragedy,’ ” Polly murmured.

“Yes,” Eileen said joyfully. “Only just think, you’re going home!”

“But I can’t bear the thought of leaving you here all alone—”

“I’m not alone. I have my children. And Sir Godfrey and Miss Laburnum and Winston Churchill. And Agatha Christie. And who knows what may happen? I may get to meet her properly next time and tell her how much I owe to her. She taught me to solve mysteries,” she said and turned to smile at Colin.

“My dear boy,” she said, embracing him and then holding him out at arm’s length to look at him again, “take care of her for me.”

“I will,” he said solemnly.

“Now, go,” she ordered, propelling them up the aisle toward the exit.

“Wait,” Polly said, and fished in her pocket for the letter. “Here. It’s a list of the V-1s and V-2s in London and the southeastern suburbs, but not Kent or Sussex, so stay out of them if you can.”