Shane ed. - A Hacked-Up Holiday Massacre - Halloween Is Going to Be Jealous

He finally gave up figuring, decided that she ought to have some fun, and he could have some fun too. Come Halloween, he got him a bar of soap for marking up windows and a few rocks for knocking out some, and he made his sister and himself ghost-suits out of old sheets in which he cut mouth and eye holes.

This was her fifteenth year and she had never been trick-or-treating. He had designs that she should go this time, and they did, and later after they’d done it, he walked her back home, and later yet, they found her out back of the house in her ghost suit, only the sheet had turned red because her head was bashed in with something and she had bled out like an ankle-hung hog. And someone had turned her trick-or-treat sack—the handle of which was still clutched in her fat grip—inside out and taken every bit of candy she’d gotten from the neighbors.

The sheriff came out, pulled up the sheet and saw that she was naked under it, and he looked her over and said that she looked raped to him, and that she had been killed by bizarre hands.

Bizarre hands never did make sense to Preacher Judd, but he loved the sound of it, and never did let it slip away, and when he would tell about his poor sister, naked under the sheet, her brains smashed out and her trick-or-treat bag turned inside out, he’d never miss ending the story with the sheriff’s line about her having died by bizarre hands.

It had a kind of ring to it.

He parked his Dodge by the roadside, got out and walked up to the Widow Case’s, sipping on a FROSTY ROOT BEER. But even though it was late October, the Southern sun was as hot as Satan’s ass and the root beer was anything but frosty.

Preacher Judd was decked out in his black suit, white shirt and black loafers with black and white checked socks, and he had on his black hat, which was short-brimmed and made him look, he thought, exactly like a traveling preacher ought to look.

Widow Case was out at the well, cranking a bucket of water, and nearby, running hell out of a hill of ants with a stick she was waggling, was the retarded girl, and Preacher Judd thought she looked remarkably like his sister.

He came up, took off his hat and held it over his chest as though he were pressing his heart into proper place, and smiled at the widow with all his gold-backed teeth.

Widow Case put one hand on a bony hip, used the other to prop the bucket of water on the well-curbing. She looked like a shaved weasel, Preacher Judd thought, though her ankles weren’t shaved a bit and were perfectly weasel-like. The hair there was thick and black enough to be mistaken for thin socks at a distance.

“Reckon you’ve come far enough,” she said. “You look like one of them Jehova Witnesses or such. Or one of them kind that run around with snakes in their teeth and hop to nigger music.”

“No ma’m, I don’t hop to nothing, and last snake I seen I run over with my car.”

“You here to take up money for missionaries to give to them starving African niggers? If you are, forget it. I don’t give to the niggers around here, sure ain’t giving to no hungry foreign niggers that can’t even speak English.”

“Ain’t collecting money for nobody. Not even myself.”

“Well, I ain’t seen you around here before, and I don’t know you from white rice. You might be one of them mash murderers for all I know.”

“No ma’m, I ain’t a mash murderer, and I ain’t from around here. I’m from East Texas.”

She gave him a hard look. “Lots of niggers there.”

“Place is rotten with them. Can’t throw a dog tick without you’ve hit a burr-head in the noggin’. That’s one of the reasons I’m traveling through here, so I can talk to white folks about God. Talking to niggers is like,” and he lifted a hand to point, “talking to that well-curbing there, only that well-curbing is smarter and a lot less likely to sass, since it ain’t expecting no civil rights or a chance to crowd up with our young’ns in schools. It knows its place and it stays there, and that’s something for that well-curbing, if it ain’t nothing for niggers.”

“Amen.”

Preacher Judd was feeling pretty good now. He could see she was starting to eat out of his hand. He put on his hat and looked at the girl. She was on her elbows now, her head down and her butt up. The dress she was wearing was way too short and had broken open in back from her having outgrown it. Her panties were dirt-stained and there was gravel, like little b.b.s hanging off of them. He thought she had legs that looked strong enough to wrap around an alligator’s neck and choke it to death.

“Cindereller there,” the widow said, noticing he was watching, “ain’t gonna have to worry about going to school with niggers. She ain’t got the sense of a nigger. She ain’t got no sense at all. A dead rabbit knows more than she knows. All she does is play around all day, eat bugs and such and drool. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s simple.”

“Yes ma’m, I noticed. Had a sister the same way. She got killed on a Halloween night, was raped and murdered and had her trick-or-treat candy stolen, and it was done, the sheriff said, by bizarre hands.”

“No kiddin’?”

Preacher Judd held up a hand. “No kiddin’. She went on to hell, I reckon, ‘cause she didn’t have any God talk in her. And retard or not, she deserved some so she wouldn’t have to cook for eternity. I mean, think on it. How hot it must be down there, her boiling in her own sweat, and she didn’t do nothing, and it’s mostly my fault cause I didn’t teach her a thing about The Lord Jesus and his daddy, God.”

Widow Case thought that over. “Took her Halloween candy too, huh?” “Whole kit and kaboodle. Rape, murder and candy theft, one fatal swoop. That’s why I hate to see a young n like yours who might not have no Word of God in her… Is she without training?”

“She ain’t even toilet trained. You couldn’t perch her on the outdoor convenience if she was sick and her manage to hit the hole. She can’t do nothing that don’t make a mess. You can’t teach her a thing. Half the time she don’t even know her name.” As if to prove this, Widow Case called, “Cindereller.”

Cinderella had one eye against the ant hill now and was trying to look down the hole. Her butt was way up and she was rocking forward on her knees.

“See,” said Widow Case, throwing up her hands. “She’s worse than any little ole baby, and it ain’t no easy row to hoe with her here and me not having a man around to do the heavy work.”

“I can see that… By the way, call me Preacher Judd… And can I help you tote that bucket up to the house there?”

“Well now,” said Widow Case, looking all the more like a weasel, “I’d appreciate that kindly.”

He got the bucket and they walked up to the house. Cinderella followed, and pretty soon she was circling around him like she was a shark closing in for the kill, the circles each time getting a mite smaller. She did this by running with her back bent and her knuckles almost touching the ground. Ropes of saliva dripped out of her mouth.

Watching her, Preacher Judd got a sort of warm feeling all over. She certainly reminded him of his sister. Only she had liked to scoop up dirt, dog mess and stuff as she ran, and toss it at him. It wasn’t a thing he thought he’d missed until just that moment, but now the truth was out and he felt a little teary eyed. He half-hoped Cinderella would pick up something and throw it on him.

The house was a big, drafty thing circled by a wide flower bed that didn’t look to have been worked in years. A narrow porch ran half-way around it, and the front porch had man-tall windows on either side of the door.

Inside, Preacher Judd hung his hat on one of the foil wrapped rabbit ears perched on top of an old SYLVANIA tv set, and followed the widow and her child into the kitchen.