Jeff Strand - Graverobbers Wanted - No Experience Necessary

I went through the booking procedure, got a couple of photos taken (at least with a mug shot I knew I wouldn't have my usual will-you-hurry-up-and-take-the-damn-picture-already smile), and was fingerprinted.

"Listen to me," I told the officer who was doing my fingerprints. He was a younger guy, barely looked old enough to be a college student. "I absolutely have to talk to somebody right away. I don't care who...any cop you've got is fine. But I cannot stress enough how vital it is that I explain what's going on. Some people will be killed. Maybe they already have been. Do you understand?"

"I'll see what I can do," he said, leading me over to a very tidy desk upon which rested a telephone. "You get one phone call, but make it quick."

I dialed my home number. "Hello?" said Kyle.

"Kyle, this is Daddy. Could you put Roger on the phone?"

"He's not here."

"What do you mean, he's not there?"

"He's in the bathroom."

"Knock on the door and tell him it's important, okay?"

"`Kay."

There was aloudthump in my ear and I flinched.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Kyle?"

"The phone fell. I'll go get Roger."

A moment later Roger got on the line."Andrew, what's up?"

"I've been arrested."

"Are you serious? You're kidding, right?"

"No. I'm at the police station."

"Aw, shit!"

"I need you to come down here and prove that I'm really Andrew Mayhem. Grab my wallet off the counter. Helen's keys are hanging up in the kitchen, you can take her car."

"All right.Did you find out anything when you went to that place?"

"I found what I was supposed to, but I don't have any idea what it means, yet. Before you come to the station, I need you to drive to theSouthview branch of the library. My car is parked a couple blocks away...I don't remember the street, but it's a left turn after you pull out of the parking lot. I've got a spare car key hanging on the hook next to the refrigerator, so you can use that to get inside and grab the envelope that's on the seat. You have to hurry because they'll be sending a tow truck to take it away."

"No problem.Anything else?"

"Yeah, bring the tape. But don't show yourself outside with it. Have Theresa carry herbookbag , and put it in there."

"The other tape's still at my place. Should I get it?"

"No. They might be watching your house."

"Okay. We'll be there as soon as possible."

"Thanks,buddy."

I hung up. When I turned around, the young officer was standing there with a pair of black cops. They were both about forty, heavyset, bald, had thick mustaches, and were identical twins.

"These are SergeantsFrenkle andFrenkle . They'll hear what you have to say."

I'D NEVER been in a real interrogation room before, and this one looked just like those I'd seen in the movies. A long table, uncomfortable chairs, bright white lights, everything.

I told them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Except that I left out the people's names.

Now, I could have waited for Roger to show up with my I.D., convinced them that I was merely some tired driver who forgot to signal, and then left. But if the killer knew I'd been arrested, he'd naturally assume that I'd spilled my guts, whether I really did or not. So if I was going to be penalized anyway, I decided I might as well talk to them. It's not like I'd been able to figure things out all by myself. Might as well let them have a shot.

I also considered leaving out thegraverobbing , but quite honestly I was too mentally exhausted to come up with a good cover story as to how I'd become involved. And I didn't want them to catch me in any inconsistencies. Better to tell the whole truth and worry about the consequences later.

"That's quite a story," said Sergeant TonyFrenkle , who was distinguishable from his brother Bruce only by a small mole above his left eyebrow.

"If it's an excuse to get out of a traffic ticket, it's the best one I've ever heard," said Bruce.

"Do you believe me?" I asked.

Tony shrugged. "Not really. But you say your friend is on his way with the tape, so we'll have a look at it together and see if that changes things."

I checked my watch. Twenty minutes since I'd called Roger. He'd be here any second, as long as Theresa and Kyle weren't giving him any problems.

"Please, you have to promise me that you're not going to do any investigating," I said. "He'll kill them."

"Your story isn't leaving this room for the time being," Tony assured me. "I am, to get some coffee, but your story stays here."

"Thank you."

Bruce asked me some to clarify some parts of the story while we waited for Tony to return. When he did, it was with three cups of the worst coffee I'd ever tasted. The stuff made my tonguewant to leap out of my mouth and never return.

"While we're waiting, why don't you tell us your story again, to make sure we've got everything straight?" suggested Bruce. What he meant was, tell us the story again so we can try to catch you in a lie.

So I told them the story again.

After about ten minutes, I was starting to get a bit nervous. What was taking Roger so long?

After thirty minutes, I was more than nervous. I was frantic.

After an hour, I was terrified.

Chapter 19

AFTER ANOTHER fifteen minutes, there was a knock on the door. Bruce answered it and stepped outside to speak with somebody. Less than a minute later he returned.

"Your friend, his name is RogerTanglen , right?"

"Yes! Is he here? Does he have my kids?"

"Maybe you should come with me."

"Why? What happened?"

"Just come with me."

I followed Bruce and another cop out into the front area of the police station. Tony walked close behind us. I made every effort to think positive thoughts, even though a voice in my head kept shrieking that my children were dead.

As we walked through the front door I saw about five cops crowded around something in the parking lot, partially blocking it from my view. We hurried over to the crowd as the policeman who'd spoken to Bruce shouted for them to clear a path. The cops stepped aside to let us through, revealing what they were gathered around.

Roger.

He was standing against a large plank of wood, about the size of a door.In fact, itprobablywas a door. Bands fastened his legs at the ankles, and another band wrapped around his neck.

His eyes were wide and frightened. Duct tape over his mouth looked like it was wrapped all the way around his head. Above his head, neon orange letters proclaimed that this was "The Dismemberment Game!" Smaller letters in black magic marker said "Starring RogerTanglen and Andrew Mayhem." A note taped to Roger's chest read "Pigs, stay away! This is Andrew's game."

Fixed to the door were six machete blades, the flat edge of each blade on the wood. The bottom of each blade was attached to a mechanism that was clearly designed to swing it. A blade on each side of his head was positioned to lop off his arms at the shoulder, while blades on each side of his waist were positioned to lop off his legs. A blade next to his right shoulder was set to decapitate him. The sixth blade was at the very bottom of the door, resting on the pavement perpendicular to the door. Between Roger's legs there was an enormous slab of raw meat, probably a cow flank.

"Oh dear Lord..." whispered Tony.

"All right, everyone back!" shouted Bruce, waving his arms. "Clear some space! We need anything solid we could use to block those knives!"

I walked up to the door. "Can anyone get a chainsaw or something to cut him free?"

The officer closest to the door shook his head. "Look at the back."

I did so. From behind, I could see that the door was propped up by two pieces of wood at the bottom. The entire back of the door was a maze of what must have been thousands of multi-colored wires. Connected to the door by several other wires was a laptop computer, which the cop who'd taken my fingerprints currently had balanced on his palm.