Jeff Strand - A Bad Day for Voodoo

“I don’t want any of your things, but thanks,” said Kelley. “You’ve never been in my room. I’ve got lots of stuff. Tell her, Tyler.”

“You don’t need to give all of your things away,” I said. “It’s fine, really.”

Adam shook his head. “I’m not going to do dumb things anymore. Never again. Those days where I was constantly doing dumb things—they were fine for a while; they’ve worked for me so far. But they have to end. I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep being the friend who messes everything up. I want to be the friend you introduce to other people. I want people to say, ‘This is Adam, and he is my friend,’ instead of, ‘This is Adam, he’s a little better when you get to know him, but not much.’ I want you to be proud of me. You too, Kelley, even though I know that’ll never happen. You guys are going to see a brand-new Adam Westell. I may not even keep the name Adam. Maybe I’ll be Blake. Or Ziggy. Or I’ll make up a name that nobody has ever had. Something without vowels. Zgmf. Or something that isn’t pronounced the way it’s spelled. Didn’t some guy do that one time? I don’t remember. But I promise you, both of you, that I’m not going to be the one who ruins everything anymore. I’m going to be the one who solves problems, not causes them. I’m going to be the one you can count on, the one you call when you need help, not the reason you call somebody else. As soon as I saw all of that blood on you, I knew—”

“What blood?” asked the cabdriver.

“Uh,” said Adam.

The driver applied the brakes and turned around to stare at me. “If you’re bleeding inside my vehicle, I’m gonna cut you.” “Wouldn’t that make the problem worse?”

Hadn’t Kelley, Adam, and I been discussing my injuries right here in the cab where he could hear us? Maybe the driver was a polite individual who made it a point not to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, and so he’d been thinking of a favorite song or something while we discussed my missing toes. Or maybe he was moderately stupid. Either way, he looked pretty darn mad.

“I’m gonna kick you out and then cut you. Where are you bleeding?”

“Nowhere.”

“Don’t lie to me.” He pulled off to the side of the road and shut off the engine. “I just had my cab cleaned after this lady gave birth in it a couple days ago, and I’m not going through that again. You kids can just pay me and get out.” He tapped the meter. “That’s one-oh-three.”

As has been previously mentioned, we didn’t have much money. If you choose to take life lessons from this book, and I hope you don’t, one of them would be that at some point, the cabdriver is going to want to be paid, and if you knew you didn’t have enough cash, you should have figured something out along the way instead of simply hoping that the problem would disappear.

Kelley, Adam, and I all did that thing where you look at each other with “So, do you have any money?” expressions even though you already know the answer. Like when your dad looks in the pantry and says, “Who ate all of the Ho Hos?” and you and your friends all look at each other, even though all of you were there for the Ho Ho-eating party.

“We’re not sleazeballs,” I assured him. “I promise you’ll get your money.”

“Good. Then hand it over.”

“We don’t have it right.. .y’know.. .wow.”

The driver narrowed his eyes. “Define ‘now.’”

“On us.”

“You let me drive you all this way and you didn’t have money for the fare?”

“We never thought we’d need you this long. We actually didn’t think we’d need a cab at all. But my car got stolen, and we needed somebody to do a high-speed chase, and.well, you remember, you were there. We were never going to jump out and run. My parents will pay you. I guarantee it.”

“And are your parents in the cab with you right now?”

“Uh, no.”

“Then we have a problem, don’t we?”

“No, no, no, there’s no problem. You’ll get your money. If you have to drop us all the way back off at my house, that’s fine. I’ll make sure you get paid.”

The driver sighed. “You seem like good kids. Well, no, you seem like rotten kids, but you don’t seem like thieves.” He reached into his pocket and handed me a business card. “This is how you get in touch with me. I expect you to do so. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

We all sat there for a moment.

“Are you making us get out?” I asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“Is there any chance you could take us to the jewelry shop? I mean, we’ve promised to pay you, so what’s another ten bucks on the fare, right?”

The driver opened his door and got out of the cab. Kelley and

Adam hurriedly got out as well. The driver opened my door, saw my foot, and then gave me one of the ugliest scowls I’d ever seen.

“There’s.there’s.I didn’t know you were bleeding that much! I thought you scraped up your elbow or something! Look at that!”

“It’s not leaking that bad,” I insisted. “See? There’s barely any on the floor.”

“That’s worse than the umbilical cord stain! Get out! Now!” The driver grabbed me by the shirt collar and pulled me out of the car. He raised his fist.

“I’m not a violent person except in the monster truck audience,” he said, “but this is a bunch of garbage. You think you can just bleed all over my cab and not suffer the consequences?” “I didn’t bleed all over it!” I said. “It was only a little bit! There was no spurting!”

“It’s spurting right now!”

I looked down at my foot. “That’s not spurting. That’s dripping.” “It’s dripping a lot.”

“That’s because you pulled me out of the car. It wasn’t dripping that much inside. I’ll clean it up. I promise. Get me some hot water and a sponge, and I’ll clean it up right now.”

He slammed me against the car. Kelley let out a quick scream. “It would be different if you wanted me to take you to the hospital,” said the driver. “That I could get behind. But you, you’re being inconsiderate with your blood while you’re making me take you to a jewelry store! I should call the cops.”

“I’m okay with that right now,” I said.

The cabdriver glanced at something behind me. I glanced over there too. Somebody was on the other side of the street a few blocks away, running toward us. He was wearing a white dress. Or a hospital gown.

“You’re not even worth it,” the driver said. “I want my fare before the end of the night.”

“You’ll get it.”

“Give me some collateral. Give me your driver’s license so I know how to get in touch with you.”

I nodded, quickly took out my wallet, and handed him my license. It had the worst picture ever taken of any human being in the entire history of mankind, but for once, I didn’t care about the shame of showing it to somebody.

The driver shoved the license into his pocket. “I need more,” he said. “Give me that doll that you’re so obsessed with so I know you’ll pay me.”

I shook my head. “I can’t do that.”

He slammed me against the side of the cab again.

Adam let out a battle cry and ran at the driver. I’ve gotta be honest with you, Adam is not somebody who intimidates me, but it was one hell of a battle cry, and I was glad he wasn’t running at me.

The driver.. .he didn’t actually punch him. He sort of did this move where he grabbed Adam’s arm and swung him around, almost like a square dance. Adam kept running for another ten feet or so and then tumbled to the ground. The intimidation inspired by his battle cry disappeared.

Kelley ran at him.

The driver yanked the doll out of my hand. “Stop!” he shouted at her.