Eugene Petrov - The Twelve Chairs

for some reason or other was located in the corridor of the horse-breeding

administration.

In the chess section sat a one-eyed man reading a Panteleyev edition of

one of Spielhagen's novels.

"Grossmeister O. Bender!" announced Bender, sitting down on the table.

"I'm organizing a simultaneous chess match here."

The Vasyuki chess player's one eye opened as wide as its natural limits

would allow.

"One second, Comrade Grossmeister," he cried. "Take a seat, won't you?

I'll be back in a moment."

And the one-eyed man disappeared. Ostap looked around the chess-section

room. The walls were hung with photographs of racehorses; on the table lay a

dusty register marked "Achievements of the Vasyuki Chess Section for 1925".

The one-eyed man returned with a dozen citizens of varying ages. They

all introduced themselves in turn and respectfully shook hands with the

Grossmeister.

"I'm on my way to Kazan," said Ostap abruptly. "Yes, yes, the match is

this evening. Do come along. I'm sorry, I'm not in form at the moment. The

Carlsbad tournament was tiring."

The Vasyuki chess players listened to him with filial love in their

eyes. Ostap was inspired, and felt a flood of new strength and chess ideas.

"You wouldn't believe how far chess thinking has advanced," he said.

"Lasker, you know, has gone as far as trickery. It's impossible to play him

any more. He blows cigar smoke over his opponents and smokes cheap cigars so

that the smoke will be fouler. The chess world is greatly concerned."

The Grossmeister then turned to more local affairs.

"Why aren't there any new ideas about in the province? Take, for

instance, your chess section. That's what it's called-the chess section.

That's boring, girls! Why don't you call it something else, in true chess

style? It would attract the trade-union masses into the section. For

example, you could call it The Four Knights Chess Club', or The Red

End-game', or 'A Decline in the Standard of Play with a Gain in Pace'. That

would be good. It has the right kind of sound."

The idea was successful.

"Indeed," exclaimed the citizens, "why shouldn't we rename our section

The Four Knights Chess Club'?"

Since the chess committee was there on the spot, Ostap organized a

one-minute meeting under his honorary chairmanship, and the chess section

was unanimously renamed The Four Knights Chess Club'. Benefiting from his

lessons aboard the Scriabin, the Grossmeister artistically drew four knights

and the appropriate caption on a sheet of cardboard.

This important step promised the flowering of chess thought in Vasyuki.

"Chess!" said Ostap. "Do you realize what chess is? It promotes the

advance of culture and also the economy. Do you realize that The Four

Knights Chess Club', given the right organization, could completely

transform the town of Vasyuki?"

Ostap had not eaten since the day before, which accounted for his

unusual eloquence.

"Yes," he cried, "chess enriches a country! If you agree to my plan,

you'll soon be descending marble steps to the quay! Vasyuki will become the

centre of ten provinces! What did you ever hear of the town of Semmering

before? Nothing! But now that miserable little town is rich and famous just

because an international tournament was held there. That's why I say you

should organize an international chess tournament in Vasyuki."

"How?" they all cried.

"It's a perfectly practical plan," replied the Grossmeister. "My

connections and your activity are all that are required for an international

tournament in Vasyuki. Just think how fine that would sound-The 1927

International Tournament to be held in Vasyuki!' Such players as Jose-Raoul

Capablanca, Lasker, Alekhine, Reti, Rubinstein, Tarrasch, Widmar and Dr.

Grigoryev are bound to come. What's more, I'll take part myself!"

"But what about the money?" groaned the citizens. "They would all have

to be paid. Many thousands of roubles! Where would we get it?"

"A powerful hurricane takes everything into account," said Ostap. "The

money will come from collections."

"And who do you think is going to pay that kind of money? The people of

Vasyuki?"

"What do you mean, the people of Vasyuki? The people of Vasyuki are not

going to pay money, they're going to receive it. It's all extremely simple.

After all, chess enthusiasts will come from all over the world to attend a

tournament with such great champions. Hundreds of thousands of

people-well-to-do people-will head for Vasyuki. Naturally, the river

transport will not be able to cope with such a large number of passengers.

So the Ministry of Railways will have to build a main line from Moscow to

Vasyuki. That's one thing. Another is hotels and skyscrapers to accommodate

the visitors. The third thing is improvement of the agriculture over a

radius of five hundred miles; the visitors have to be provided with fruit,

vegetables, caviar and chocolate. The building for the actual tournament is

the next thing. Then there's construction of garages to house motor

transport for the visitors. An extra-high power radio station will have to

be built to broadcast the sensational results of the tournament to the rest

of the world. Now about the Vasyuki railway. It most likely won't be able to

carry all the passengers wanting to come to Vasyuki, so we will have to have

a 'Greater Vasyuki' airport with regular nights by mail planes and airships

to all parts of the globe, including Los Angeles and Melbourne."

Dazzling vistas unfolded before the Vasyuki chess enthusiasts. The

walls of the room melted away. The rotting walls of the stud-farm collapsed

and in their place a thirty-storey building towered into the sky. Every

hall, every room, and even the lightning-fast lifts were full of people

thoughtfully playing chess on malachite encrusted boards.

Marble steps led down to the blue Volga. Ocean-going steamers were

moored on the river. Cablecars communicating with the town centre carried up

heavy-faced foreigners, chess-playing ladies, Australian advocates of the

Indian defence, Hindus in turbans, devotees of the Spanish gambit, Germans,

Frenchmen, New Zealanders, inhabitants of the Amazon basin, and finally

Muscovites, citizens of Leningrad and Kiev, Siberians and natives of Odessa,

all envious of the citizens of Vasyuki.

Lines of cars moved in between the marble hotels. Then suddenly

everything stopped. From out of the fashionable Pass Pawn Hotel came the

world champion Capablanca. He was surrounded by women. A militiaman dressed

in special chess uniform (check breeches and bishops in his lapels) saluted

smartly. The one-eyed president of the "Four Knights Club" of Vasyuki

approached the champion in a dignified manner.

The conversation between the two luminaries, conducted in English, was

interrupted by the arrival by air of Dr. Grigoryev and the future world

champion, Alekhine.

Cries of welcome shook the town. Capablanca glowered. At a wave of

one-eye's hand, a set of marble steps was run up to the plane. Dr. Grigoryev

came down, waving his hat and commenting, as he went, on a possible mistake

by Capablanca in his forthcoming match with Alekhine.

Suddenly a black dot was noticed on the horizon. It approached rapidly,

growing larger and larger until it finally turned into a large emerald

parachute. A man with an attache case was hanging from the harness, like a

huge radish.

"Here he is!" shouted one-eye. "Hooray, hooray, I recognize the great