Deborah Levy - Billy and Girl

‘He said you set fire to him,’ Louise says in a morbid, expressionless voice. ‘For bashing Billy.’

Girl puts her hand on her lip. ‘I did, didn’t I?’

Her brother nods. Writes something. FANKS. THANKS.

Girl’s face starts to cave in on her. The whole Girl thing collapsing. ‘Oh, my God!’

Billy writing more. NO GOD. JUST PAIN.

Tears. Girl’s tears are hideous. Pouring out of her. She’s sobbing into her hands, meowling, even her hair is wet, red welts on her cheeks where she rubs them and cries more.

‘I’m evil, Billy.’

NO EVIL. JUST PAIN.

Girl stamps out of the room. Slamming the door, making everything shake and judder off the shelves, about to fall and break. Everything is trembling at the moment. Juddering to the edge about to fall.

GIRL’S GONE TO SEE RAJ. THEY KISS ALL THE TIME.

Another Billy note. Who do the England kids think they are? Louise has got a hunch that Billy has become even more frightened of his sister. On account of her being capable of damaging someone. Dad. Louise likes it that Billy is afraid. Something she can do too. Damage people. So why not wind him up a bit? She sits at the table making her eyes flutter up to the top of her head. Talks to him with just the whites showing. Makes her voice go croaky so he has to call the exorcist in to number 24. ‘I am possessed, Bill-ee, I am possessed, Bill-ee.’ Billy’s losing it. Taking out his knife. Cutting up the kitchen chairs. Not threatening her. Just doing it to let off steam. He’s hungry. Hasn’t had a proper meal for weeks. There’s no food in the house. Only what Raj gives them from the shop. So Raj has become a bit of a saviour in Girl’s eyes, a saviour who does kissing. Billy is losing it. He hasn’t made a pizza since Raj kissed Girl. Not seen a movie in weeks. The TV listings bore him sick. No weather to play hoopla in the park, that’s what you do, isn’t it? Play sports in the open air? Louise is sick of hearing him moan through his notes. Why’s he gone dumb? Just because that bloke kissed his sister?

‘I’m possessed, Billee! Billeeeeeeeeee! Billeeee.’

Billy just can’t believe it. Girl’s mad enough, but to have to endure Louise is too much. He opens a book on the psychochemistry of the brain, ignoring the FreezerWorld girl and her retard play-acting.

Two hours after Girl stormed out of number 24 in a whirl of tears, she storms back in with Raj on her arm. Both of them are clutching FreezerWorld bags. Louise finds it hard to believe Girl has dared go back there after robbing Express. But she has. She goes there a lot. Louise sees her skulking in the aisles. Staring at her. She knows Girl follows her home. Watches her when she’s out with Danny. She doesn’t mind that so much. Girl has taught her a lot. Taken her round the shops, bought her new clothes. Given her new words and thoughts. Louise even helps Girl write her words on walls. Girl doesn’t know that Louise does this. MOM CALL HOME. GIRL. Louise has written it quite a few times — whenever she sees a space and no one is looking. Easy.

Raj is a bit shy when he sees Louise on account of their afternoon in the car. Louise has a hunch Girl doesn’t know about that. No need to, is there? She enjoyed herself. So she just nods at Raj, who can barely look her in the eye, and she notices that he and Girl suit each other. What with his thick black hair and purple hipsters. Girl with her peroxide blondness and little blue denim minidress. Denim ? Louise finds herself outraged. Denim . How come Girl is wearing denim when she’s given so many lectures to Louise about what crap denim is, except in the form of a bikini. A bikini? But there she is, in a denim minidress, her cheeks burning up with Girl fever. What’s going on? Fire in her face. Has she gone all the way with Raj? She’s saying FreezerWorld thoughts like she always does, always talking about it, obsessed, FreezerWorld is this, FreezerWorld atmosphere, FreezerWorld discount announcements. She takes something out of the FreezerWorld bag and throws it at her brother.

‘Eat this snack, Billy boy, I got some news for you.’

Billy grabs the crisps. He’s hungry. No Grand-Dad cash. Raj must have lent her some money for a shop. Raj who slaps him on the back in a brotherly way these days. No way to treat your doctor, Raj. There are reasons for formality. Rules to protect you. Learn them.

‘All right, man?’

No, Billy is not all right. Choking on the pickled-onion-flavoured potato snax shaped like monster feet.

‘Okay. Fasten your straitjackets.’ Girl is delirious.

Raj is standing behind her. What for? In case she falls or what? Billy just wants to get a flu virus and go to bed for a week.

‘I’m checking out your potato snax, Billy, and this announcement comes over the speakers. Mr Tens making one of his broadcasts. Don’t cut out, Billy, listen, come back, you little creep, and don’t blank out because what I am saying is … BILLY, Come BACK ! I’ve found Mom.’

Even Girl’s denim dress is steaming. ‘Mr Tens goes blah blah blah blah blah and I have a message for Louise: Call your Grand-Dad’s local hospital. If his horse hasn’t come home it means he’s ill. You could be in for some inheritance.’

Billy goes crazy. Stands up and kicks over the bin. Scratches for paper. Labels off old tins. Anything. Starts scribbling, his head too fast for his hand.

‘Talk, Billy. We’re nearly there. Talk. Fucking talk, we’ve found her.’

Billy shakes his head sadly. Passes the note to Raj. ‘DID YOU HEAR HIM SAY THAT TOO?’

‘Sure.’ Raj is excited. ‘That’s what he said.’

‘Mr Tens is always saying stuff,’ Louise pipes in. ‘He goes on like that all day.’

‘That was for us , Billy. Grand-Dad’s in hospital.’

Her brother nods. Kicks the wall. Writes eight words; MOM GAVE HIM THE MESSAGE TO READ OUT.

‘Exactly, Billy. Exactly.’ Girl turns on Louise. ‘Okay, so you fucked up the first time, Louise. You worked on Express and there wasn’t enough in the till. And you demanded your share. You fucked up with Dad. Didn’t get any information we don’t already know. This is your last chance.’

She pushes Raj into a chair, out of the way. Girl wants the whole floor to parade on. Got to clear her mind. No obstacles to trip up on. Except for Louise.

‘I did tell you something you didn’t know.’

‘What?’

‘You set fire to your Dad.’

Girl searches for something to say. Like how do you spell flea?

‘You did, though, didn’t you, Girl?’ Raj interrupts.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Billy told me.’

Girl paces round the kitchen. Opening the fridge, shutting it again. Calling the cat even though it ran away months ago.

‘We are going to kidnap Mr Tens.’

Billy nodding vigorously. Yeah, of course. No doubt about it. Mr Tens is going to talk. Raj looking unsure. Louise smiling a sick smile.

‘We are going to kidnap him this evening and bring him back here.’

Billy writing again. Squeaking and writing: TORTURE HIM TILL HE SAYS WHERE HE GOT GRAND-DAD INFORMATION FROM.

Girl agrees. ‘Mr Tens will not take a step out of this house alive unless he tells us who gave him that note. Raj, that person is our mother. Do you understand? She knows something we don’t know and she’s trying to tell us.’

Raj pokes his finger through one of the pickled-onion-flavoured monster feet. ‘Why don’t you just ring the hospital and find out what’s happened to your grand-dad?’

Girl lights up two menthols. Gives one to Billy. ‘Got to preserve our mental stability, Raj.’

‘I’ll ring him for you.’ Raj just can’t understand this Grand-Dad hysteria.

Billy writing something again, in between pretending to inhale menthol. ‘WOULD PREFER STARVE. EAT CAT ON THIN CRUST.’