Gonçalo Tavares: The Neighborhood

One day Mister Valéry needed to go to a far-off part of the city.

On foot it would take him ten hours. By train, only twenty minutes.

After pondering deeply, Mister Valéry decided to go on foot. Mister Valéry explained, “Who can guarantee that the place I reach after ten hours is the same one that I reach in twenty minutes?”

And with greater conviction said, “It is obviously not the same place.”

And Mister Valéry then drew two arrows of very different lengths.

And exclaimed, “Only a madman would say that the final point of the two arrows is the same.”

Gaining momentum, Mister Valéry continued, “And even if I went by train and waited at my destination, completely still for nine hours and forty minutes, my destination would not be the same as the one where I would arrive after ten hours on foot; given that I would have been there, in that place, even though absolutely still, for nine hours and forty minutes, changing it.”

And he then began to walk, as he had made his decision.

After having walked for twenty minutes, Mister Valéry looked at his watch and thought, in a somewhat confused manner, “If I were already at my destination, this exact moment would be the place where I would have arrived.”

He looked around him and said, “However, this is not yet my destination.”

He thus continued walking.

Later, content, still talking to himself, he said, “I still haven’t arrived, but the place I am going to is a different one.”

And, as he still had nine hours to go before he reached his destination, Mister Valéry continued walking, happy and content with his reasoning, placing one foot in front of the other, always with the same rhythm, heading for his destination.

“Nobody can fool me,” murmured Mister Valéry, who was already sweating profusely.

The Problem with Business

Mister Valéry’s profession, on alternate days, consisted of buying and selling.

“I sell what I bought on the previous day,” explained Mister Valéry, “and the next day I buy something with the money I made from the previous day’s sale. And thus, one makes a living,” he concluded.

And Mister Valéry explained, “There exists a part on the top and a part below and each sustains the other.”

And as he liked to draw, Mister Valéry drew

“And it is because one part sustains the other that the circle goes around,” added Mister Valéry while he sketched a second drawing.

And Mister Valéry made yet another drawing.

“As long as one day follows the other, everything is fine. The problem with this business,” whispered Mister Valéry, hoping that nobody would hear him, “the problem is if I were to die. That is the problem.”

Laziness

Mister Valéry was sure he was being followed.

“There is something behind me.” he said repeatedly.

But he was also sure he was following something.

“I am pursuing something.”

He explained, “Everything that exists behind my neck follows me when I move.”

And Mister Valéry drew a sketch.

“And I follow everything that exists before my eyes when I move.”

And he drew another sketch.

“That is why,” concluded Mister Valéry, “I have always preferred laziness.”

A Cup of Coffee

Mister Valéry loved his coffee. For Mister Valéry work and drinking coffee were one and the same thing. His work, from a certain point onward, was to drink coffee.

He used to say, “Without my coffee, I can’t work,” and whoever heard him thought he depended on this substance to do anything else.

But it wasn’t so.

Mister Valéry explained, “The human body is so much more exact the fewer tasks it performs.”

And further clarified, demonstrating his philosophical ideas of which he was so proud, “A cause is worth less than an effect and an effect is worth less than an event without a cause.”

Therefore, he would act without thinking of the effects of his actions. He would act because he liked the action he did. And that was enough for him.

Mister Valéry then decided to draw a cup of coffee in order to prove his theory.

After finishing his sketch, he said to himself, “There are times when I don’t understand myself at all.”

And as he was confused, Mister Valéry decided to have another cup of coffee.

“It’s one way of resolving things,” he thought.

The Mirror

Mister Valéry was not handsome. But neither was he ugly.

A long time ago he had decided to substitute his mirrors with landscape paintings. Thus, he did not know what his actual physical appearance was like.

Mister Valéry said, “It’s better this way.”

And explained, “If I thought I was handsome, I would be scared of losing my looks; and if I thought I was ugly, I would hate beautiful things. This way, I am neither scared, nor do I hate.”

And without being either handsome or ugly, Mister Valéry strolled through the city streets, carefully observing the people he met.

He explained, “If they smile at me, I understand that I am handsome. If they look the other way, I understand that I am ugly.”

Theorizing, he further added, “My looks are constantly updated by the faces of other people.”

Sometimes, after meeting somebody who looked away, Mister Valéry, having understood, would run a hand through his hair, arranging his locks while he endeavored to find another visage deep within himself, this time a more pleasant one.

In conclusion, Mister Valéry commented, “Mirrors are for egotists.”

“And what about a drawing?” they asked him.

“Today, there is no drawing,” replied Mister Valéry, and bid everyone farewell with a brusque but polite movement.

Everyone liked Mister Valéry.

The House Key

Coming out of the courthouse, where they had just heard several contradictory versions of the same event, Mister Valéry said:

“The only chance that truth has of surviving is to multiply itself. If there is only one single truth, then lies can be all those billions of possibilities that remain. Thus it would be impossible to discover the truth: a miraculous chance; whereas lies, on the contrary, would always be around us.”