Ivan Klima - Lovers for a Day

'For heaven s sake, 'we're planning to do what we always do, aren't we?'

'Yes. . but today. . today we ought to. .' She went over to the window and drew back the curtain. Against the dark sky loomed the even darker outline of the ruined castle.

3

They could now see the hill and its castle from the other side. The dilapidated battlements were bathed in moonlight and looked majestic and threatening in the night.

He stopped the car and switched off the lights. 'Where to now?' he asked.

The night was chilly and the autumnal grass, leaves and mist gave off a scent that was almost nostalgic. It would have been quite pleasant to walk with her along this footpath through the meadow if he had felt like walking.

'The light here is weird,' she remarked. They were walking along some path that was really no more than trampled grass, his arm round her shoulders. He longed for her and hated her for it.

'Do you remember that night when we were travelling in France?' she asked.

'It was raining,' he said. 'And the path was almost impossible to walk along.'

'Yes. The rain drummed on the roof of the car.' She shivered with cold. Then she started telling a story out of the blue. 'When I was about four years old I used to pretend I had a dog. I took him on walks with a lead, as if he really existed. I would wait while he peed against a tree and I'd always put something from my dinner plate into a bowl for him. I used to make up a bed for him out of a cushion beside my own bed and pretend he was lying there. And every night before I went to sleep I would talk to him. I never gave him a name, I just used to call him "my dog".' She sighed. 'I don't think I ever loved anyone as much as that dog.'

They had reached a wooden hut in the middle of the meadow. From within came the scent of hay.

'Come on, darling,' she said, 'let's make love now.'

He helped her climb up.

The space inside was half filled with hay and the air was stiflingly thick with hay dust.

'Darling,' she whispered, 'do you like it here?'

'I don't care where I am when I'm with you,' he said.

'Yes, I know,' she said, quickly undressing, 'but it couldn't have been in a bedroom today. You're not cross with me because of it, are you?' She pressed herself to him. He put his arms around her. With every movement they sunk deeper into the soft stuff beneath them and the stalks tickled and pricked their naked bodies.

'Darling,' she whispered.

From outside came the sound of footsteps. He raised himself and made out a familiar shape.

'So this is the place, then?' the soldier asked after they had climbed up.

'If you like it here,' the girl whispered. Her face and even her hairstyle were now hidden in the darkness. The soldier had laid his belt aside ceremoniously the moment he arrived as if loath to make any unnecessary movements.

You're so handsome,' the girl whispered.

He seemed to be kissing her. All they could hear were short breaths, drunken wheezing, the sound of groping hands, the crackle of the straw and then the girl's moaning whisper, 'Don't worry about me, don't worry about me, just so long as you're satisfied.'

A few minutes later, as silence suddenly fell, the soldier stood up and tried to read the time from his watch by the light of the moon.

'Do you want to go already?' the girl whispered.

'It's almost midnight,' the soldier said ruefully. 'Why didn't you tell me earlier about this hayloft?' He spat. Maybe it was only to spit out straw from his mouth. He snapped his belt on again and the two of them climbed down into the darkness almost without a sound.

'Darling,' she whispered when they were alone once more, 'do you love me?'

He tried to make out her face in the dark, but it was so indistinct it could have been any face. Moreover, the scent of her body was smothered by the irritating stench of hay.

'No,' he said. And he thought to himself, I hate you. Because you make a game out of what for me is love and because you are my only and final future while for you I am simply a moment that's already passing.

'No,' she repeated after him. 'He doesn't love me.'

He remained silent. If only he were fifteen years younger.

'He simply doesn't love me any more,' she said. 'Why?'

'Because you're. .' but he didn't continue.

'Because I'm a whore?' she asked.

He said nothing.

'So you went off on a honeymoon with a whore?' She cuddled up to him. 'My love,' she kissed him. He held her in his arms.

'At last, at last,' she whispered. 'At last.'

'I love you,' he said. 'I love you madly and I'd give everything, absolutely everything for this moment with you.'

'I know,' she whispered. 'I know. Dog,' she then said quietly 'My dog!'

(1969)

'This is Wellington, New Zealand. Is that Prague? Hold

the line for a call.'

'Hello. Hello. Is that Prague?'

'This is Prague here.'

'Is that you, Tereza? Can you hear me?'

'Yes, I can hear you.'

'It's me. Bill.'

'I know. I recognized your voice. And who else would call me from there?'

'How are you, Tereza?'

'Fine now that I can hear you. Can you hear me? How are you?'

'It's good to hear you. But you sound terribly distant.'

'I know. I'm on the other side of the world.'

'I miss you, Tereza!'

'I miss you, too.'

'I wish I could hold you.'

'Me too.'

'What's the news?'

'I'm not sure. None really. The older boy is going to school now and the little one is wrecking the flat and my nerves. I've got loads of work. I'm having a new outfit made. I thought about you when I had the fitting, wondering if you'd like me in it. And how about you?'

'Tereza, I told my wife everything.'

'What's everything?'

'That I love you.'

'You told her about me?'

'I told her I'm in love with you and want to live with you. Didn't you tell your husband?'

'No. . Not yet. Do you think that was wise? What did she say?'

'She didn't believe me at first. And then — she cried.'

'That's terrible. Perhaps you should have waited a little longer. Hello? Hello. . Are you there? I can't hear you, Bill. There's somebody talking Japanese or something on the line. Are you still there?'

'Tereza, can you hear me?'

'Now I can. It's awful, the distance.'

'Unbearable. That wasn't Japanese, that was Maori. I don't see what I'm supposed to wait for — I know I love you.'

'Now I can hear you as if you were in the next room. But it must have hurt her terribly.'

'It's not the telling that hurt her but what happened. And what's going to happen.'

'It's all awful. And what are you going to do? What have you agreed with your wife?'

'It wasn't easy. She told me she might not survive. I need to talk to you about it.'

'Do you mean over the phone, interrupted by someone talking Maori all the time? Surely we can't talk about life and death matters over the phone?'

'Exactly. I wanted to tell you I've decided to fly out to see you.'

'That's out of the question.'

'Why? I'd take the plane, that's all. Like last month.'

'But it costs so much.'

'I don't care about the money. I only care about being with you.'

'How could you be with me? I have my husband here, don't forget.'

'And you did last month too.'

'Yes, but he wasn't here. He was away.'

'But I expect you could find a moment for me.'

'A moment perhaps. And you'd fly all the way for that?'

'I'd sooner have a moment with you than a life without you. Besides, we need to take some decisions. And you said yourself that these decisions can't be taken over the telephone.'

'But you were only here a month ago. We could have taken decisions then but we didn't.'