Uwe Tellkamp - The Tower

‘When you’re awarded the title of Medical Councillor, my friend, you can open a few more of these foreign bottles for us. We know you — you’ve only sent part of them into battle here, the rest are keeping cool in your cellar. You’ve still got your supplies, you old desert fox.’ Weniger filled his glass to the brim and had difficulty raising it to his lips without spilling some. Clarens laughed. ‘Don’t drink so much, Manfred. Think of the drive home.’

‘Don’t worry, my wife’s driving.’

‘What’s all this about supplies! I haven’t a drop left in the house. I wouldn’t let my friends go thirsty on my fiftieth birthday. But what’s all this about a Medical Councillor? What does it matter anyway? — Or have you heard something?’

‘Oh, come on, Richard, it’s common knowledge. From what one hears you’re going to get a Med Councillor or the Hufeland Medal, Pahl the Hufeland Medal or perhaps even the Fetscher Prize.’

‘Really? One hears that, does one? I don’t.’

‘But my boss did. At the last directors’ conference.’

Richard lowered his voice. ‘Much more important than all this frippery would be if we finally didn’t have to beg for every drip bottle and every lousy bandage! If they could sort out their structural problems so that we could work efficiently! They can keep their gongs, for God’s sake. That’s just a sedative to stick on your chest … If we butter up the directors and the consultants now and then, the rest’ll sort itself out — that’s the way they think!’

‘Not so loud, Richard.’ Weniger had become serious and was looking round nervously. When he caught sight of Christian, his expression brightened. ‘Well done, that sounded just like a concert. How long have you been playing?’

‘For …’ Christian screwed up his eyes as he thought. ‘… for about eight years.’ He felt embarrassed because it wasn’t just his father and the two doctors who were looking at him but all those waiting in the queue, in front and behind.

‘Do you want to take it up professionally? As a cellist?’

‘No. Graduate from high school.’

‘Ah.’ Weniger nodded. ‘Then you can follow in your father’s footsteps?’

‘I’d like to study medicine, yes.’

‘A good decision.’ Weniger pursed his lips and nodded vigorously. ‘And, if I may ask: your grades?’ Before Christian could answer, he made a dismissive gesture. ‘If I had my way — good grades in themselves don’t make a doctor. If I think of some of the young ladies who come to us … Nothing but “A”s for their studies, but no feel for it, fingers like thumbs to put it crudely, and they keel over at the first post m—’

‘Oh, my grades are quite good. Apart from maths …’

‘Oh yes, the medic’s old problem. My God, in maths your father and I were a real pair of duffers. Don’t you worry about that. There is less mathematics in heaven and earth than is dreamt of in your philosophy … Hmm, it’s all very well for me to talk. Just do your best. But how are things otherwise … a girlfriend?’

Christian, who by now had a plate and cutlery, carefully helped himself to some rice and cleared his throat in embarrassment. ‘Hmm, no, not yet.’

‘Well, that’ll come, you’ll see. And don’t worry about those little pimples on your face, they’ll go of their own accord, and a girl who sees nothing but that’s not worth bothering with, young man.’

‘How’s your lad?’ Clarens asked the medical director from gynaecology. Christian had gone bright red.

‘Matthias? He’s doing his military service at the moment, signals. Spends all day running round the countryside laying telephone lines. But he’s no idea yet what he wants to do afterwards. “Don’t panic, Dad …” is all I get from him whenever I have the temerity to ask a question or drop a hint. At one point he wanted to be a stage technician, then a radio presenter, then a forester … Gesine and I were thinking that was something definite, forester, when he applied for a place at the forestry school in Tharandt last year; but then he withdrew his application. What will be next — who can say? All he knows is what he doesn’t want to do: study medicine. “I don’t want to be rummaging round in the holy of holies like you, Dad,” the brat says that to my face and smirks.’

The laughter was something that Christian found irritating.

‘Come on, Manfred, you’ll need to tuck in after that. Take one of these splendid stuffed peppers …’ Clarens looked at Weniger over the top of his glasses. ‘Oh, I was going to ask you — you know the boss of that car repair shop in Striesen, Mätzold or whatever he’s called …’

‘Pätzold. Yes, what about him?’

‘You performed the abortion on his daughter last year, didn’t you …?’ Clarens leant over to Weniger and murmured something. What Christian could hear sounded like ‘cavity seal’ and ‘carcass’ but he couldn’t imagine what a dead body could have to do with a Moskvitch.

‘… a Friday car, I can tell you. It’s already starting to rust through at the front, where the passenger puts their feet. I told my wife: “Once it goes through you’re really going to have to run fast” … and the brakes, soft as butter. I’d like to know how the Russians manage that. But probably nothing happens over there because there’s only five cars on the road, or they just don’t worry about it … The armour plating on their Volgas is just the same. Oh, this looks good, I’m going to have some of this … So, Manfred, could you set something up with this Pätzold …? You know that departmental head at VEB Vliestextilien, the fabrics company from Chemnitz? Well I’m still treating him. He says the targets in the economic plan have given him a nervous breakdown. I managed to get him a place for a course of treatment in the spa at Bad Gottleuba; at the same time I made it clear to him that a psychiatric clinic needs an incredible amount of dressing material … an incredible amount. Just like a gynaecological clinic. I assume I’d have to send you what you might call a referral form for this, er, patient?’

Weniger stuck his tongue in his cheek as he thought. ‘I’ll give Pätzold a call on Monday. But I can’t promise anything. There’s a problem there, you see — he threw his daughter out when he discovered who the father was. The son of some guy on the Party District Committee. And Pätzold’s had about as much as he can take from them, I can tell you. The guy’s son was in the clinic too. Always the same. Hit the booze then get your oil changed and pull your dipstick out of some stranger in the morning, then have kittens at the result of the pregnancy test and collapse into the capable arms of Nurse Erika … You didn’t hear any of that, Christian.’

The queue moved forward slowly. Adeling was at the other end of the buffet, serving consommé with meatballs; he had his left arm behind his back, the ladle in his white-gloved right hand, and each time before he served the soup, with a smile and a twitch of his nostrils, he briefly closed his eyes in acknowledgement of the guest’s wishes.

Weniger leant forward to Richard and Clarens with a conspiratorial expression. ‘Since the District Committee has cropped up, have you heard this one: The teacher says: “Make a sentence with the two nouns, Party and peace.” Little Fritz puts up his hand. “My father always says: ‘I wish the Party would leave me in peace.’ ” ’

‘Hahaha, very good. But yesterday Nurse Elfriede told me a great one during an operation: Why does Pravda only cost ten pfennigs and Neues Deutschland fifteen? — “I can explain that,” the assistant at the newsagent’s says, “for Neues Deutschland you have to add five pfennigs translation costs.” ’