Bruce Wagner - Still Holding

Becca told Annie she couldn’t understand how anyone survived even a minute behind bars. It was funny — now he looked more like Russell Crowe than ever, all tousle-haired and gorgeous, sulky and dreamily wronged. Even his sweat smelled sweet. He told her he was sorry he’d “withheld” certain things and that he never meant to hurt her. When she asked if he loved her, he lowered his head like the genius in A Beautiful Mind, mumbling, “Pretty much, yeah. I pretty much did. And do.” She was glad he tacked on “and do.”

She asked about his crimes, but he simply shook his head. “Has your mother been to see you?” The tender question came unexpectedly from her depths. Again he shook his head, with forlorn indifference. He hadn’t really known the woman — his mother — all that long, he said. Their first meeting had occurred just three years ago. Becca presumed that Cassandra’s hypothesis was correct and that Rusty had been raised as an orphan. (Perhaps the tragedy had been set in motion when he decided to seek his ancestry.) Now was not the time to probe; it was a story she might never know. He wondered if she knew anything about the release date of the Spike Jonze film. Becca said she’d heard it was sometime in the fall. “Ah,” he said, with a scampish wink. “Did a little A.D. tell you?” He said that Grady told him there was something in the paper about his role being chopped down to nothing. Becca had heard the same thing on Access Hollywood but said she didn’t really know anything about it.

When she finally asked about Herke, he said it was short for Hercules. That had never occurred to her, and she thought it touching because at that moment he really did seem to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders. He told her he was happy that she was living with the Dunsmores. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he said. Becca said, “You don’t have to worry.” She was going to ask if he’d been sleeping with Elaine Jordache all the time they’d been seeing each other and if it was true he really did kill a man and if it was true what she heard that he was related to that man by blood and why was it only three years ago that he’d first seen his mom and she wanted to tell him that she still loved him and that maybe they would make a QuestraWorld movie of his whole life and saga and write to each other every day until he got out as long as it was true that he still loved her — but in the end, none of it seemed to matter. She recounted the very last part to her mom, trying to sound hardened and nonchalant and mature, but when Dixie replied, “Honey, everything matters,” Becca burst into tears.

And that was the last time she saw him, in the flesh anyway.

Blackout

MATTIE WAS CONCERNED about Lisanne, as were Reggie Marck and the Loewensteins. Since the episode on the jet, she’d been going downhill.

When she stopped by his office to deliver that deranged soliloquy, Reggie got seriously spooked. She left before he could take any action — not that he knew what that action would have been, though he kicked himself for not having “detained” her. He was worried that Lisanne might potentially harm herself or the baby. He phoned Roslynn, and they tried to sort things out. Reggie asked about the boyfriend, but Roslynn said he was out of his league when it came to her troubles; Philip had grown too dependent on Lisanne to be objective. The sister, she said, was the one with the head on her shoulders.

Reggie and Roslynn initiated a conference call with Calliope Krohn-Markowitz to discuss some sort of intervention. (Lisanne saw the psychiatrist for a few sessions, but had since gone AWOL.) The Muskinghams were also on the line. Calliope asked if there were any new developments. Mattie said that Lisanne had been spending a lot of time in the “yoga cabin” and appeared withdrawn. Also, there was a “growing diminution in personal hygiene.” Roslynn spoke of what she felt to be a “continued inappropriate response” to the plight of the actor Kit Lightfoot. Impatient with the pussyfooting, Reggie circled back to the astonishing office visit. “That was a crazy person,” he said. “That was a deeply disturbed woman who either needs to be taking medication or should be locked up. Probably both. Period.” There was a pause. “Frankly, I’m very concerned for the welfare of that baby. I don’t think we can in all good conscience sit by while there’s a tragedy in the making.” Calliope asked Philip about his thoughts — he was, after all, the one closest to Lisanne in a number of ways — but he said she seemed fine. Reggie said, sotto, “He’s got to be kidding.” In her role as mediator, Calliope reiterated Reggie’s concern about the well-being of Siddhama, and Philip said the nannies hadn’t noticed anything strange. Not that they’d talk about it if they had, said Mattie sardonically. And why is that? asked the doctor. Because, said Mattie, one of Lisanne’s eccentricities was, she was always giving them cash on the side. Roslynn wanted to know how much cash. Philip said there was a daily limit on the ATM. Reggie said, “What is it? Three hundred? Four hundred? That’s a lot of money to be giving a nanny.” “Is that ‘hush money’?” wondered Roslynn. “I mean, what’s she doing? Money for what?” “It’s just misplaced largesse,” said Mattie. “She has a big heart,” said Philip. “That’s all very well and good,” said Reggie, in hard-nosed attorney mode. “But I think we really need to be in reality regarding this woman. This is a damaged lady. Look, I’ve known her a lot of years now, and I am telling you this is someone who needs to be hospitalized. And I think we should take that step. Because we don’t want a tragedy on our hands. Hey, maybe it’s something that only needs a few days — or a week — or whatever. Great. Maybe it’s strictly a medication thing. I don’t know, Doctor, could having a child have brought this on? I mean, the whole concealing of the pregnancy… is this a postpartum psychosis thing?” “It may be,” said Calliope, with caution. “Of course that needs to be ruled out. But I can’t rule out anything if I’m not able to meet with the patient.” “Maybe Phil can help with that,” said Roslynn, knowing that his sister would chime in. “Yes,” agreed Mattie. “Phil and I can definitely talk to her about coming in for another session. Don’t you think, Philip?” “Uh huh,” said her brother. “And if not,” said Mattie, “we can talk about something more definitive. We’re actually all going out tonight for an event.” “Great,” said Roslynn. “Maybe that would be a good time for discussion,” said Calliope. “But I think it’s important you use your own judgment. If that’s a conversation you think would be better suited to have at home, then wait until you get home.” It was agreed all around that Lisanne wouldn’t be left alone with Siddhama. Reggie said, “Won’t that be difficult?” Philip said Lisanne was rarely alone with the baby anyway. Mattie said she would have a talk with the nannies, and Roslynn said that Philip should take her ATM card away. He assented. Calliope told Mattie and Philip to check in with her as soon as they spoke to Lisanne, even if it were late tonight.

After everyone had hung up, Reggie called Roslynn back and said that he couldn’t understand why the call hadn’t ended with more of a concrete plan. Roslynn contradicted him. She definitely got the feeling things were “coming to a head” and that hospitalization was imminent. “I missed that,” said Reggie skeptically. “I guess I zoned.”

• • •

IT RAINED HARD that night.

Months ago, Philip had got tickets to see the Dalai Lama at UCLA. He engaged a driver, but when his sister arrived at Rustic Canyon, Mattie said, “I refuse to take a chauffeur-driven Mercedes to see the Dalai Lama.”