Bruce Wagner - Dead Stars

Larry Ellison always hovered in the Forbes Top 10 list of world billionaires (out of 500), while Bertram Brainard fluctuated in the hi-lo teens. Tom-Tom thought it was funny that both men’s sons wanted not just to produce but to act, she admired them for that too, thought it kinda ballsy. More clicking & webdrowsy dowsing revealed that Ellison Jr had planned to make a flyboy flick with Taylor Lautner, he was going to give that wolfboy-faggot seven-point-five milli, but when Lautner found out his boss planned to costar, he walked — which pissed Tom-Tom off because the punk hadn’t earned the right to such rude behavior (not that anyone ever has the right, but a guru using rudeness as a teaching tool is always welcome, and wolfboy aint no guru), he was acting like he was Kevin frickin Spacey when the frickin reality is you’re just a neanderthal muscle-cunt who got lucky , no difference between you and the guy who picks up a mistakenly thrownaway winning lotto ticket while bending down to bag his dog’s diarrhea. And Brando was going to pay Mila Kunis five million to be his love interest in a rags-to-rich-bitches lark called The Ferrari Kid , “from an idea by Biggie Brainard”—Dame Kunis walked too, the ol conflict in schedule . What bothered Tom-Tom the most was it’d been made clear to the hacktress from the beginning that her boss wanted to co-drive the vehicle (http://www.starpoopscoops.com)… what part of playing a sidekickwhore to Natalie Portman makes you think you’re Helen Mirren?

TT did her ritualistic thing where she got down with the Tarots & called money, in the Year of the Moneybags she called $$$$$ and the s and the spirits to fiduciarily bless her good works-to-come with untold bounty. She pounded H & nodded out in front of the http://www.celebritynetworth.com-displayed screen, just chilled a while like that, everything perfect, skagged feeling perfect now, even thinking the cameras can show me slamming, cause that’s me, Bad News needs to show the warts the good times & the bad times maybe get a new butt buy one like Coco & Tahiri&Amber Rose. . . . still tho it was bothering her, not a lot but a little, that, try as she may, she hadn’t yet arrived at that unified theme, like, what would she tell the networks was the big idea behind her Big Idea when they asked that kind of shit which they always do, she knew she could make a house full of (former) wannabe-wannabes work but before anybody commits to freakin monetizing they want to pick it apart, not like dumbcunt Crystal Lightweight, but in really smart ways, they knew how to pick shit apart, they messed with your head until they wore you down & even you started thinking your idea was so loser . Tom-Tom worried that she needed a fallback when whatever entity she was pitching to threw that fucked-up But what’s it really about? curve in there, you know There needs to be a unifying goal, it’s good that they want to be famous but for what, if it’s just fame WE DON’T THINK THAT’S ENOUGH you know the Jews never made it easy on you, that was their frickin job, that’s why they were put on the planet, you always needed to be a few steps ahead, to make you step up your game, if they threw something at you you better catch it & throw it back PDQ or they’ll see you as weak. The Jews lived to watch you burn.

So on the couch Tom-Tom not nodding just gauzy smoking blunt/Jack D crunkin the war between her and the Jews, back & forth, it not being enough, her shit like not being patricia or enough, & it being OK you know it’s just loosers striving for whatever , fame or normalcy or both together, just striving not to be loosers, same way a fool on Celebrity Rehab strives for sobriety — no one would say trying to get/stay sober wasn’t enough — you know it’s all about the personalities & enmeshments anyhow, that’s the fuckin Big Idea, Hymie, the funny funky drama that hooks you, the frickin dramedy, like don’t get all hung up on the grand fucking unified theme , she went back & forth like that thinking it/she was enough, & the other, that anxiety-causing crazymaking still unformed hypothetical rejoinder to the kikey producers’ pigheaded insistence on a unified field , a Unifying Fucking Purpose, some endgame goal she was tripping on that she/everyone would need to reach— no no no, it was all good, it would all work, it was all perfect , EVERYTHING would work, the future was the past the past was prologue the child was father to the man of the future perfect which was all contained in the NOW, the show had already frickin happened , that’s what she’d already read in the s, she was already the head of a burgeoning empire , all perfect, another little bump to get the energy to call forth a few more $$$$. . . . . back to the internet, googling sundry reality players, it said Snooki only had $3 million which was a lot less than Tom-Tom thought, maybe they didn’t update the site yet in terms of endorsement bootie, though actually maybe the conservative estimates were probably more accurate, they did say she was making $33,000 an episode, Audrina had $12 million, holyshit you’re fucking Audrina and you have twelve million fucking dollars how did that happen, Kelly Clarke had $24 million ohhhhhhhh she didn’t even want to look up Carrie Underwood but she couldn’t resist checking Adam Lambert, oh oh oh he had $5 million , okay that’s enough with the false Idols— fucking Omarosa had ONE POINT FIVE… milli ——may as well get lost in KardashianWorld, Kim only made forty an episode, that’s what it said, she only had $35 million, Tom-Tom thought it’d be a lot higher tho the $$$$ pour in so fast for the Kardashes that it’s probably hard for a site to keep up keeping up with the Kardashian’s money anyway, that had to be wrong because Tom-Tom read that Kim was buying back her sextape for $30 million, their mom was an amazing businesswoman she would never allow Kim to spend all of her fortune that way plus the wedding alone cost $15 million, the divorce prolly netted 3 times that in PR, it said Kourtney & Khloé made twenty thousand an episode & each had four milli, that can’t be right someone really needs to update this shit Tom-Tom thought she could reach 4 milli pretty fast, 4 milli seemed a reasonable short-term goal, Kris Jenner had $20 million which again needed to be seriously updated but that was only right, she’s the mom, it was her pussy they clawed their way out of, she was the one who changed their diapies and took their shit hahahaahah! the son Rob was a real looser, maybe a good catch for Bad News Bears , even Rob Kardashian Senior had $3 million & he was fuckin dead!!!!! For some people the $$$$$ just keep raining down no matter what , even that sick fuck Scott Disick, who should have been taken into a basement & raped & tortured for stuffing money in that waiter’s mouth, never treat food servers with anything less than total respect , that’s how you take the measure of a man, the way he treats his mother & the way he treats servers , even that peacocking parasitical scarlet pimpernel FAIL Scott Disick had $2,000,000 USD networth———& Olympian daddy Bruce had one hundred million in the bank, she wondered where they got that number, she hoped it was a hundred milli because that was fair too, he worked hard for it, plus he never lost his humility, he was a kind man, when she first started watching the show Tom-Tom h8ted on him because he looked like a tranny but now she knew he was going to be one of her heroes & guiding lights from her own Mount Olympus. . . . . . . . . . . …