Bruce Wagner - Dead Stars

Cherokee did h&m on Season 3 of Idol and was the only one who even called Tom-Tom when she got kicked off. (Fantasia and Jennifer were such cunts about Tom-Tom’s failed subterfuge, which might even have been looked at in a humorous, forgiving light if they so chose. Clearly TT was coming from a desperate place, and one should always demonstrate compassion for desperate people, but no , they were in full-scheming skeevydiva mode. Tom-Tom never really told anyone except Cherokee but she was happy when Jennifer’s family got killed and she was happy when TMZ said that Fantasia was getting random death threats & hoped she suffered when there was a rumor she made a sextape with a married man, that’s what happens when you think you’re above empathy and treat your peers with ill-respect.) So Cherokee called Tom-Tom after they threw her off A.I. and pursued her because she liked bad girls. They became lovers and running partners, they were all about smack and candyflipping. After 2 years of untold drama (long preceding the arrival of the angel Betty White in her life), Cherokee checked herself into Serenity House, upscale Laurel Canyon rehab, where she commenced to take inventory of her life and compose a long list of those whom she owed amends, Tom-Tom being foremost among them. The h&m doll grew rife with fantasies of red roses and white picket fences, audaciously reaching out & asking Tom-Tom to join her in trudging the road of happy recovery, which amazingly, Tom-Tom audaciously did. Sadly, T 2was asked to leave (before Cherokee even had the chance to make formal amends, and before Tom-Tom began her own 4th Step) for failing a urine test and sleeping with two of the former-patients-turned-counselors, a 27 year-old male & a 62 year-old female, separately but within a 2-hour period. More amazingly and audaciously, Cherokee had remained sober in the 84-odd months since, all of her drug cravings/energy handily refocused on a wild animalistic sexual obsession with TT, which always clouded Cherokee’s already unimpeccable vision, forcing her into a cyclical destructive dance of fight and flight, merging and separation, and who, by bestowing money and favors, manipulated Tom-Tom, at least thought she did, into agreeing/pretending/promising they might really have a future together. And now the gal was going away to be with her Angel, she’d been doing pretty well lately in protecting herself from the madness of her obsession but when the housesitter she arranged for (a friend of Amy Smart) bailed, & there was Cherokee leaving in 36 hours, & knowing Betty would be very unhappy if the house were left empty — it was an emotional thing, as long as she knew someone was staying there Betty was chill — knowing that however gracefully her angel reacted, anything short of a house sit would be a disaster.

So inadvertently she tapped into her god-sized obsession and everything old was new again. All was quickly arranged.

Tom-Tom GPS’d the greek salad of streets. The doll intro’d her to the house & its mild old-house eccentricities. Gave her the keys and told her which opened what. Showed her the ancient alarm system thingie, still in perfect working order. Showed her the museumpiece home intercom system, still in perfect working order. A little pool cover retraction demo. Then Tom-Tom devoured her in bed god she’d do anything Tom-Tom asked, she’d suck a napping dog’s dick like in the Czech Animal Gangbang vid they watched before/during their fuck. She’d put a snake up her cunt like that other video, head in the cunt tail in the ass how the fuck did they even get the snake to do that she’d get reamed by a pig or a horse & do it unloaded . Tom-Tom always told her what riches lay ahead when they fucked, she’d whisper shit in her ear while she licked her clit and worked her dark * with a dildo, Tom-Tom’s deliberate funny retail sextalk which actually would have been hahaha if she wasn’t always on the verge of coming, like how she would buy her a $3,000 Katie Holmes — designed pantsuit or these $500 Opening Ceremony shoes by Chloë Sevigny or an Olsen twins $34,000 backpack or how some day she would lavish her with custom jewelry like the $25,000 diamond-encrusted pendant of Stewie from Family Guy that Justin Bieber had made. The Double T drove her to LAX & passionkissed her in Cherokee’s SUV (she gave TT the keys), Tom-Tom put all kinds of subtle notes, flavors and colors in that kiss, going-away bonus tracks, freebies Tom-Tom threw in as acknowledgement and compensation for the seriousness of the scarily timed Mt Olympus aerie temp gifting, in that she knew in her gut just how large and important a part it was to play in her immediate plans & fortunes, notes, colors & flavors that implied I think I might really love you, Cherokee, this time I’m not so blind I can’t see, to know we can have a life together, so hurry home my love, hurry home from yr white angel to yr angel of meth…

On the way back from the airport Tom-Tom thought about that whole period of her life: Season 3. Season of the witch, no doubt. She got suicidal when Fantasia leaked her Idol artifice to Perez H (she was sure it was fatass- ia) and in like 3 seconds it viral’d the web and national/international tabloids too… then backfired on the h8trs & she started getting calls like from Jimmy Kimmel, and Amy Poehler played her on SNL (Maya Rudolph did Fantasia & Ben Affleck played Simon). She got hundreds of emails from Idol h8trs — death threats too — she was having her quintessentially American-ironic Tonya Harding folk hero Anti-Idol t-shirt moment. Letterman even wanted her to read the Top 10 and she went to an office in Hollywood to be put on tape so they could see if she could do it. There weren’t any Top 10 jokes written for her yet so she read a Ten Questions You’re Afraid to Ask Condoleezza Rice. She read well so that they flew her to NYC & put her up in a hotel not far from the apt she used to deal out of. Tom-Tom was so nervous in the car that took her to the studio that she puked. Had to do a little unplanned smack. The studio was freezing, Letterman never talked to her backstage and introduced her by saying “We’re happy to have Tom-Tom on the show with us tonight. She flew out from California in Ryan Seacrest’s private jet… and if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge with multiple schlerosis to sell you.” The crowd roared & something sour shifted in her. She could smell the stink waft up from her panic mouth.

Top Ten Reasons Tom-Tom Should Have beaten Fantasia To Become the “American Idol”

10. In porn, “Tom-Tom”’s a top; “Fantasia”’s a bottom…

In a month, all the attention faded away. She became a self-h8tr whose dreams died stillborn.

Until now.

. .

Her Big Showrunner Idea:

She was part of a loose network of loosers angling for their own reality show… well Tom-Tom was angling anyway. A sorority/fraternity house all composed (in her conception) of one-time Idol contestants — though lately she’d considered broadening her sights to be more inclusive of The Voice, The Sing-Off, The Singing Bee, X-Factor, Going Platinum , &tc — who were sent home late or even way early in the game. Naturally no one could necessarily compete with Tom-Tom’s famous winnowing as a consequence of out-&-out larceny. No, the others would be more than content to make encore appearances, standard bearers of the usual sometimes-ludicrous sometimes-laughable always-lamentable hard-/softluck stories. Tom-Tom hadn’t yet begun her official reach-out, she took the reality show convention as a sign, that’s where she was intent on doing a major scout of minor talent. She believed in the s and their signs, that one needed only to cultivate the innate ability to interpret their meanings; she recognized the convergence of the convention and the Betty White godsend in which she would house and film her loser brethren a la Real Life/Big Brother to be a karmic omen in itself.