Bruce Wagner - Dead Stars

Goodbye Mother. . . . . . . …

The LVN escorted him to the triage area. Bud heard raucous laughter that he identified as the caregiver’s. When he reached the open enclosure, Dolly was sitting upright on the exam bed. Marta was feeding her grapes.

“My son! My son!”

“Heyyyyy — what’s going on? What happened ?”

“Where were you,” said Dolly. “Where were you—”

She pretend-bawled like a little girl.

“I was at a meeting. I came right after I got the message.”

“He was in a meeting ,” she said, turning to Marta with exaggerated hauteur. “Did you hear? My precious son was in a meeting . Tell me, precious son, was it an unemployment meeting?”

Dolly arched her head, cuing Marta for their festive shtick wherein the caregiver held the cluster of grapes above Dolly’s mouth to nibble at Cleopatra-style. Marta howled with laughter; Dolly was enjoying her audience. (Marta even slept in Dolly’s bed at night. The two women were enthralled with one another — soul sisters to the end.) He cut through the revelry to ask what had happened. Marta grew serious. She said she was in the kitchen when she heard a thump on the baby monitor. When she got to the bedroom, “my big baby” was already on the floor. Dolly had been watching TV in her special chair, and dropped a cookie; when she leaned to pick it up, she tumbled onto the carpet. Marta pointed to the subtle bruise on Dolly’s forehead. It looked like a bindi. Marta told Bud that when she couldn’t reach him, she thought it prudent to call 911 because “your mommy she say she was dizzy.” She wagged her finger at the old woman. “No more! Tha’s a bad big baby . Next time you call me , Big Baby! Marta gunna come pick up your cookie!”

The two erupted in laughter again. A doctor who looked like he could have been Bud’s grandson came in.

“I heard everyone having such a good time that I just had to crash the party!”

“Doctor,” said Dolly. “This is my handsome only son.” He shook Bud’s hand. “And he’s currently unemployed . So if there are any single lady doctors you know who would marry a sexy, brilliant writer , I’d like you to introduce them. Because he needs to marry money. ”

Bud cringed. He was used to it; he tried to let it go.

“I will absolutely keep an eye out,” said the doctor. He turned solemnly to Bud, as if he was really going to look into it.

“It doesn’t even have to be a female . As long as there’s money there.”

“When can she go home?” said Bud.

“We’re just waiting for a catscan. My guess is it will be absolutely clear and Mom’ll be good to go.”

The doctor turned back to Dolly and at the same time, pointed to Marta. He pretended to scold.

“But I want you to promise to listen to this lovely young lady. (Marta was 63.) The next time you drop a cookie, you give her a shout, OK?”

Dolly nodded her head, coy, sheepish. “Doctor,” she said. “Did anyone ever tell you you’re a very sexy man ?”

“Coming from you, I’m flattered. Because I know in your day, you had the pick of the litter. You can still pick & choose — you’re a gorgeous lady.” He looked at Bud. “Isn’t she?”

Dolly smiled, almost tearfully, drinking it all in.

“She’s amazing,” said the doctor. “Has she always been like this?”

“Yeah,” said Bud.

The doctor assumed a professional demeanor, reiterating that he thought Dolly would soon be on her way.

“Now ‘soon’ could mean a couple of hours in ‘hospital time,’ but I don’t think so. I’ll try to hurry things along.”

He turned to go, then shook his head.

“Ninety-two-years old… you’re my hero. Take good care.” He shook Bud’s hand again. “That’s a wildcat. You watch, she’s going to outlive us all.”

. .

Bud left word with Rod Fulbright. He wanted to tell him how the meeting went.

He wrote and rewrote in his head what he was going to say when the agent called back, and how he was going to say it (studied nonchalance): “Hi Rod. I guess it kinda looks like they want to make a deal.” Then he thought maybe he should have waited to call. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d heard someone invoke business affairs in a meeting, only to never hear from them — from anyone — again. Actually, though, he kind of had to call when he did, because Rod Fulbright did not yet know that Bud was his client.

His cellphone rang.

“Bud? I have Rod Fulbright, returning.”

He prayed the connection would hold. Reception at Dolly’s was always dicey.

“Hi, Bud.”

“Hey Rod.”

“Well, I just got a call from business affairs at Ooh Baby.”

“You’re kidding.”

“They were really drinking your Kool-Aid over there!”

“Wow. Great. I guess it’s kind of like a blind deal? I mean, in the sense I really don’t have any idea what they want me to adapt.”

“As long as their money’s green.”

Rod said CAA would act as his “pocket” agency for now, and that Chris — ICM — was fine with that.

“They’ve offered WGA scale, which is a little more than $39,000. I told them that just wasn’t acceptable. We’ll probably counter with a hundred.” After all the years of famine, it was hard for Bud to accept a seat at the table, let alone that food was being served. “They really want you for this. I’d like to get you at least 50.”

An hour later, he got an email.

Hi Bud

Brando wanted me to give you Biggie’s info. He can be reached at biggie@oohbaby.com He’s pretty much always on line! Brando had a great time this afternoon, and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to attend. But I’m sure we’ll meet soon, and welcome to the crazy Ooh Baby family!

Best,

Keira

Keira Thompson

Director of Development

Ooh Baby Baby Productions

14 Alden Drive

Beverly Hills, CA 90210

(Tel) 3105816889

www.oohbabybaby.com

Lovers

“It’san awful thing to go through.”

Michael and Catherine were having dinner at Mr. Chow.

“Has he opened up?”

“Yeah he has. A little bit. Because I’ve talked about Cameron. So there’s a bond: our wayward children .”

“Did she really say she thought porn was ‘art’?”

“Yes she did.”

They nodded their heads in muted sorrowful stupefaction.

“Did I tell you I saw Calliope?”

“No!”

“Jesus. There’s been too much goin on.”

“How is she?”

“She’s fantastic . We had a very interesting conversation — if you want to call me just sitting there listening a conversation.”

“I love that woman. And you never just sit & listen.”

“She sends her love. She said, ‘ There’s a brave one.’”

Catherine raised a devilish eyebrow.

“And what pray tell was this one-sided conversation about ? If I may be so bold.”

“You may, because you’re the bold & the beautiful. I went to see her because it’s been too long. I don’t know how long she’s planning to stick around. Plus I miss the old broad. I knew she wanted to see me — probably for the same reasons! I talked about Jazz, my hesitations of late, and solicited her opinion. She was very elegant in what she had to say. Which in a nutshell was, Damn the torpedoes! Kind of a ‘Mikie, you’re gonna go anyway, so you may as well go in a blaze of glory.’ She gave All That Jazz the green light .”