Bruce Wagner - I Met Someone

“We never really talked about Wyatt’s mom. Is she still in the picture?”

“Nope.”

“But he — Wyatt’s her biological son, right?”

“Righto.”

“What happened?”

“She just… couldn’t stay,” he said.

Because of the bittersweet vibe, Dusty didn’t want to press. At least not till she had another glass of vino . “Did you — was it IVF?”

“Nope. Did it old-school.”

“Are you serious ?”

She was shocked and oddly delighted. She knew he was bisexual but for some reason had always scoffed at his being anything other than a full-time queer.

“Yup.”

“Whoa! What’s up with that ?”

“Shit happens.”

“Babies too, I guess.”

“Babyshit definitely happens.”

“How would you know?” she said dismissively. “Your au pair takes care of that . So where’d you meet Wyatt’s mom? On Tinder?”

“In a park.”

“Bull- shit .”

He told her what he told everyone — that they’d met when she came to his office to pitch an idea. The bare-bones anecdote ended in Devi returning home to her husband, somewhere north of Juneau. Dusty commiserated, saying all she cared about was his happiness.

“And you are , aren’t you, Jeremy? Happy?”

“Bunny, it’s beyond. Beyond my wildest dreams.”

They snuggled up, in weariness, kinship, and a love that abided. He wrapped his arms around her and she said it felt good to be held. It’d been a while.

“So — gettin’ any?” he said.

“Ha! I wish.”

“Oh come on , you can’t be celibate. What about Edwina? Kinda hot, right?”

“Goiters don’t really do it for me. I mean, not so much.”

“Was that a goiter? I thought she was just happy to see you.”

“Guess I kinda haven’t been feeling… in my body ,” she said, with sardonic Californiaspeak emphasis.

“I know that you’re having it on with your mucker or your valette . I’m sure it’s all very Miss Julie.”

“That’s Mister Julie to you, Uncle Jar Jar.”

“And that’s another reason you should start working, Bunny: location hookup .”

“Yeah, well. Not really feelin’ it.”

Her mood toggled from jokey to irritated.

“Use it or lose it, baby girl — I am serious . I mean, isn’t it kind of, like, time? Look. Everything you’re doing is totally amazing and totally beautiful . It’s not like one of those things where I’m saying ‘Move on!’—because I would never . Obviously. And you can’t —you wouldn’t , you wouldn’t want to. We know that. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” She hated the whole topic but it was just easier to let him talk.

“Are you guys still… active ?”

“No.”

He could see that she was annoyed and dispirited. “Okay. I just needed— wanted to ask. Don’t hate me, Dusterella.”

“I don’t hate you, Jar Jar. I don’t like you, but I don’t hate you.”

She smiled at him and he gave her little kisses. “You know, if the shoe were on the other foot, what would you want… for Allegra ?”

“Aurora.”

“Would you want her to stop being human ? To stop doing the things that would ultimately make her a stronger, happier person? Who could love you more , take care of you more ?”

“I may have to call Edwina. You might be in need of some quiet time yourself.”

“But you have to have some fun in your life, right?”

“I do —I do have fun. And I’m going to have fun tomorrow . We’re going to have fabulous fun on Aurora’s birthday.”

“You know what I mean, Dusty.”

She grew serious. “To introduce someone… to bring someone into my life —my life is so crazy , Jeremy. I mean, this is what I do . This is who I am . This is my life. And it’s not very sexy.”

“But you are.”

“Aw, you’re sweet.”

“You know that I’m not . Okay — just tell me this. What’s the harm in testing the waters? You don’t know who you’ll meet until you’re out there. And you might just find that incredibly brilliant , incredibly hot lady who’s okay with your ‘crazy’ life. Which, by the way, isn’t crazy, it’s actually amazing and spiritual and beyond . And filled with love and devotion. You might just find that certain someone who’s completely blown away by that, blown away by you , and who wants to be with you not just for your amazing jacked and rock-hard body but because she loves you and does not give a shit because she loves all of you. Someone who’s great with Allegra —”

“Aurora.”

“—great with Aurora. And the whole nine fucking yards.”

“Tell me more about how sexy my body is, you… silver-tongued faggot. You child-bearing, woman-fucking queen.”

He’d forgotten how funny she was when she was high. She’d say anything.

“You can’t just… cut that part of your life out . I mean, you’re totally in your prime—”

“What about you ? Have you found this perfect person? This perfect man, boy, woman, whatever?”

“I’m looking . But at least I’m out there.”

“Oh you’re out there, all right.”

“ You’re out there — outta your frickin’ mind . Well, I gave you my two cents—”

“And I gave you mine .”

“—go join the world again. Renew your membership. If all else fails, get the village idiot to go down on you.”

“My life ain’t sexy and it ain’t gonna change . So put that in your cock and smoke it. Or wank it. Or stick it in some broad you met in a park . Or whatever other nasty things you do with it.”

—

He lay in bed, enshrouded in the ghostliness of that old, shared L.A. life. Its recentness astonished. How long had it been since he and Allegra rapturously visited the midwife? Four years? Not even. And Tristen, dead and buried! And Wyatt … The march of time passed through cities of rubble, cities of gold, cities on fire. Cities gone mad from the light of the heavens.

Dusty’s innocent query led him back to Devi. His mood grew elegiac. Jeremy missed the mother of his child and wondered if she might have come to a bad end. (At least her guru wouldn’t be able to murder her, though it really did seem like he already had.) It was a shock when he learned that MacKlatchie died not two days after his coffee-shop confessions — but inestimably more so when, shortly after their son’s birth, Devi announced she’d be leaving him and Wyatt for good. They had been living together in Nichols Canyon, and while Jeremy hadn’t given much thought to future scenarios, he had been wrong to presume the baby to be an unconditional hedge against her going — a guarantee that she’d always somehow be in their lives.

He asked himself if he was in love with her but the question bewildered, which alone made Jeremy feel it was true. She was the wiliest, weirdest, most willful, barbarously charming, dangerously sane and erotic creature he had ever met, and proved herself much looser, warmer, and goofier than she came across in those historic, soliloquizing first encounters. More important was the added, irresistible detail of their fatedness , the sense that a supreme destiny, random and divine, was mysteriously at play in their having found one another — a rare and fragile thing, a privilege he’d never remotely experienced with another human being. (Except maybe for Tristen, but they were never going to have a baby together, they could never have created life .) A further complication was that he had grown to love her body. Throughout his life, Jeremy had had more encounters with women than he let on — turbulent, sexual, deeply emotional attachments. They were atypical but no less intense than male-to-male combat.