Svetislav Basara - The Cyclist Conspiracy

5.

“Thanks to the carelessness of a glasscutter,” my father wrote in the Confessions , “I understood the mystery of the Original Sin. We are guilty even when we do nothing, we are also guilty as babies precisely because we are tiny parts of a world that has lost its balance, a world that is crooked and is rushing toward destruction. Therefore, everyone who adapts himself to the rules of this world is breaking God’s laws, taking the guilt on himself, choosing it by his own free will and therefore distancing himself from God. But since God is everywhere, it is impossible to distance oneself completely from him. Origen is right. In the end, we shall all be saved. All will be one in the one.”

6.

At that time, I met the future love of my life, Ana F. It happened in a dream. I was standing with my friends on the corner where we met every evening, at that time only in our dreams, because in reality some of us were already dead, others were thousands of miles away in Canada and America where they were making dollars in the cruel world of capitalism and slowly forgetting one another. Because of that, the atmosphere on the corner was unpleasant, the conversations forced. That night, in the middle of an argument about a football match, Ernest pointed at a girl coming down the street and said, “That’s Ana.”

7.

My father had a coat of arms made according to his sketch: an old-fashioned velocipede with a rose cross rising from the handle-bar stem:

8.

(a passage from a letter of my father, Witold Kowalsky)

“Joseph, Joseph, when you were born I was beyond myself with happiness. I immediately departed for London. I checked in at a rather ordinary hotel and the next day I bought a bicycle. That evening I went riding through the streets. I rode like a madman and occasionally shot my pistol at the windows of watchmakers’ shops. You’re wondering why I went all the way to London. You yourself know that the English are cold-blooded. All of that shooting would never have been allowed in Tübingen. Even so, even there in London my celebration was met with quite a lot of publicity. As far as I could tell from the newspaper, none other than the great Sherlock Holmes was interested in my case…”

9.

(part of the record of the investigation against my father)

INTERROGATOR: This coat of arms, this stylized velocipede with a rose cross rising above the handle-bar stem, what kind of organization does it represent?

WK: That is the coat of arms of the Evangelical Bicyclists of the Rose Cross.

INTERROGATOR: What are the goals of this organization?

WK: The goals of the organization are summarized in its name. So, spreading the Evangelical truth, missionary work. We are supposed to travel around on bicycles and preach repentance and the imminent destruction of the world.

INTERROGATOR: Did members of the organization participate in any way in the conspiracy against and assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand?

WK: To my knowledge — no. I repeat, the goals of our organization are spiritual.

INTERROGATOR: Who are the members of your organization?

WK: To that question, I cannot give an answer.

10.

The next Easter, my father caused his first metaphysical scandal. Right before the eyes of some amazed people, he suddenly became invisible, and then reappeared in another place. Then he showed up in several places simultaneously; he started talking with his acquaintances, laughing and pointing his finger at his doubles, “Look, Helmut,” he said, “there’s another Witold, another one of me.”

11.

“Father, how did you do that? How is that possible?” I insisted that he tell me the secret.

“Simple,” my father said, “it’s Tibetan wisdom. ‘If you want to be invisible,’ says Lama Lobsang Rampa, ‘you must become perfectly still and stop all your brainwaves.’ So, there, I sat perfectly still and stopped all my brainwaves.”

12.

Several months later, my father caused another metaphysical scandal. Using the Cabbalah, he created a Golem, taught him the cobbler’s craft, and the Golem worked night and day instead of my father. My father dedicated himself entirely to drinking, poetry and mysticism. Who knows how it would have all ended — perhaps in delirium, perhaps in a brilliant collection of poems — if the Labor Union had not found out about it. One day, representatives of the Syndicate visited my father and accused him of hiring an unregistered worker. My father grew angry and shouted “METH!” and the Golem dissipated into a pile of dust. At the very same moment, all the shoes that the Golem had made over the preceding two years also dissipated into dust and the gentlefolk in the streets stared dully at their bare feet, not realizing that a miracle had happened.

13.

One night in a dream, I remembered that, for a long time, Ana F. had not passed by the corner where my friends gathered. “That girl,” I asked Ernest, “who you pointed out to me once. What happened to her? Why doesn’t she show up any more?”

14.

“I don’t remember pointing a girl out to you,” said Ernest.

15.

One day, my father got a letter from His Holiness the Patriarch of the Georgian Orthodox Church. His Holiness had written:

Dear Mr. Kowalsky,

The shoes that I ordered from your reputable shop suddenly fell apart before my eyes, and it became clear to me that the work of the devil is involved.

Please do not take this as a complaint; we as Christians are not interested in the treasures of this world. It is my duty as archpriest, though of a different confession, to turn your attention to the harmfulness of such activities for the Christian soul.

In the hope that you will turn to the true faith, the Patriarch of the Georgian Orthodox Church.

16.

Having read the letter, my father secluded himself in his office, carefully staring at his bicycle. The next day, he wrote a response:

Your Holiness,

I cannot express my regret because of the unpleasantness you were exposed to resulting from the situation with the shoes, but I would like to inform you of the fact that I did not make the footwear in collusion with the Devil. The truth is as follows: a Golem made those shoes. Because of circumstance, I was forced to destroy him, and thus everything the creature ever made was also destroyed. You certainly do not know that: Whatever God makes is indestructible and eternal; whatever a man makes lasts for a while; whatever a Golem makes lasts only as long as he does.

I made the Golem, this I confess, out of laziness. That is a sin. He worked instead of me. But I did not use that laziness for nothing. I used the time to construct shoes for walking on the water. You understand just how important for Christianity those shoes could be. In this time — when God does not appear and when the world is consciously distancing itself from the already faraway Lord — such shoes would be a real benefit to an archpriest. Because God will no longer appear until Judgment Day. I am sure of it. But, at the same time, I understand him completely. What should he do in this world? Even I, full of all sorts of horrible sins, can hardly stand its grayness and evil.

It is completely correct that I am sinful and that I am susceptible to all vices. However, I do not admit that I have distanced myself from the true faith. It is not possible to distance oneself from faith.