Arnon Grunberg - Tirza

'First by the Departures Hall. Then by the arrivals hall. I swing people.'

Now they sit upright. The wife is fully awake.

'Who sweep you off?'

'people. No one can be waved goodbye. That swing me.'

They rubs on her face, by her hair.

'Why do you no longer?'

'They had me no longer necessary. They went to the war with the new soldiers win.'

'What war?'

'No idea. The war for the reader I suspect. The books War.'

'And you could find no other work? In the event of another publishing house? In a book trade? A library?'

'they charged me to my pension. I am too old to still be released. But I did not have more. I am no longer usable. I am sitting in the way of their only. The new soldiers.'

They get off the bed and walk to the bathroom. He hears her puddles.

As she goes back next to him and asks: 'And now?'

'I go to Schiphol Airport, I said anyway. It is interesting, so'n airport. You see everything, but actually see you always the same. It is a type of industrial process. An abattoir. There something disappears and there is something else in return.'

He must sneezing.

'Why she phoned not?' he asks.

'Who? Tirza? Jörgen, hold. This is a form of terrorism. Your unrest terror. Your concerns are terror. It is infectious.'

'I go there,' he says after a few seconds of silence. 'I need there.'

'Where To?'

'To Africa.'

'What are you going to do there? Looking for work? Do you think that you are not suddenly become unusable?'

'No work search. I go for Tirza. It is not normal, as long as we have heard nothing. I would myself the rest of my life remonstrations.'

'Do not hysterical, Jörgen.'

'I do not hysterical. I know myself. I want to make myself not to reproach. Later'.

They stacks the cushions behind better.

'Where do you want to search? In the youth hostel they have never heard of it. Where do you start? Are you on the street with a board? Are you cafes with a thumbnail?'

'Wind Angle is not large, says it. People will have seen her. She is a striking appearance. Perhaps it is superfluous. Well, then I have a few thousand euro discarded. Also no disaster.'

She picks him with his arm. 'helps not.'

'What?'

'It is eight to ten. She is with a man. Jörgen, she is no longer a child.'

'beginning not about which wipkip. I save you if you about the wipkip begins.'

He holds his head. He has more memories than good for him. They walk through each other, are reminders. His thoughts confused him.

'It has other things on its head than to call us,' says the wife now quiet. 'And it does not help. She is on a trip around the world or how you want to name. And then they study. Or they will remain forever on a trip around the world. Or she begins as Ibi an inn, but they will not return here, Jörgen. Take a pet if you too quiet. Go to work in a home for the elderly If you need to claim and caring about, but it would be pointless to go to Africa. You make your ridiculous. And even if your hair, will give you a faltering steps. She has gone. I mean it is out of the house. She begins her own life, without you. You will not want to believe. But they can. People can live without you. I have been. Ibi can. It will also be Tirza. And furthermore: I am again. You have now had no longer Tirza?'

'and if there is something happened?'

'and if there is something has happened, then you are now too late, Jörgen. If they by ten negroid is raped and murdered, than it doesn't matter whether you take the plane or a week later'.

They squeeze in his arm as if that her words.

Ship's steward is quiet. Its arguments are convincing and yet they can not calm him. He has the evocative feeling that they themselves do not completely by its own arguments convinced. He must be there. Peace of mind is that not what counts as the epilogue of your life is started? He must for his own peace of mind. And for those of the spouse.

'Let's play,' he says soft.

'What than, what would you like to play again now?'

'as before.'

'What we played in the past?'

He takes a deep breath. He must concentrate. Who wants peace of mind, should first and foremost create order in the head.

'De living room was the Vondelpark.'

'Yes, yes," she says, 'i know.'

'You was the girl on bike. It was night. Everywhere was the night.'

'Can I further recall.'

'And I was the rapist with the knife.'

'But Jörgen…' They purr about his hair. 'We played when we were in love. It was a fun game. Now is not a fun game. Now it is a sad game. We must not play. That is not good.'

He picks up its pulse. 'Let's play one more time,' he says, 'one more time. Let us do as if it is earlier.'

'Dat does not.'

'Why not?'

'It is not earlier. It is now. It is summer. You are discharged, at least not really redundancies, removed, that is what you are, on non-active. You are unusable, you yourself said to me, and I think you always was unusable. You may in your hands that they are squeezing the rear voile. And Tirza is in Africa and we hear nothing from her, I am… I am someone who can no longer. That is why I am here. What should we play? For whom?'

He loves her wrist more firmly. 'One More,' he says, 'for i go to Africa. As in the past. Please.'

On non-active. The words in his head. That is the so that is what they have done with him. It feels like it is only now up to him by calls.

'Please call first for you to nou long journeys.'

'Met whom?'

'Met the Dutch embassy in Namibia for example, perhaps they know something.'

He let her, they get out of bed, she pulls the curtains open.

'If something has happened, they know it,' she whispers, 'but I am almost certain that they just want somewhere in the desert or the jungle. That they are happy. It is Africa, have you do not go anywhere telephone cells.'

She turns around. 'Well," she says, 'well. We play one more time.'

He comes to her. She picks him in his neck. He puts his hands on her shoulder. 'but only because we are broken, Jörgen," she says, 'the only reason. Remember.'

In the afternoon he receives the Dutch embassy in Windhoek. They have heard nothing of an accident or a crime, so everything will be in order. The man on the phone says that he is not worried. The public telephones in Namibia working with maps and that are not widely available. Certainly not in the desert.

Almost literally gives a ship's steward the by the wife.

They live as if nothing has happened, no houseboat, no departure, no return, no final exam celebration. They live as on a float boat that loss making. Waiting for wind them in a certain direction will push.

Each morning a ship's steward to Schiphol and leaves although the wife there a few times something of said, calls they do not meet that he should stop that idiotic fuss. He has explained to her that he is really the house, that he would otherwise be crazy. That is why he departs in the morning with his briefcase and he runs by the departure and arrivals hall and browse the in-between in manuscript of the author in Azerbaijan. In order not to be crazy.

Spacious two weeks after he has Tirza taken away, says the wife in the evenings in the garden: 'Maybe we should call one more time?'

'Met whom?'

'Met the embassy in Windhoek. Perhaps cease the public transport there and they sit somewhere. Or there is a sand storm. About Namibia read you will never do anything in the newspaper, have you ever read something about?'

He is on his garden chair and begins to polar bears. 'What can i say?' he asks. "Sorry, but cease the public transport with you? There is a sand storm? Who says that the embassy to draw up reports on each miniscule zandstormpje? They explained to me mad. In addition they can naturally only lifts, learn to know me that color performances. We are talking about Africa. Not on the Alsace, or the Austrian Alps. And I have already used the embassy called. We know that they are going to continue to.'