Arnon Grunberg - Tirza

'We are all sometimes not ourselves. It would be very boring if we always all would remain ourselves, Mr ship's steward.'

He is studying its because he wants to know whether they are the Meent, to put an end to the unpleasant feeling that he is taken in the grind setting. Than he begins to understand that a half-naked man is not a disaster, not more. Half the world is naked. There is nothing to be concerned about.

"do it easily. I am so with you.'

He will hastily up the stairs. In the bedroom is his wife in her nails to paint. They cross her hand. 'What do you think of this color?'

He pulls his socks and shoes and yet also but again the polo shirt, whether there is a smell of sardines. Will the whole house to sardines smell. Also he remains for the mirror and he caught, to his surprise, grief. A sorrow that all other feelings that sometimes in him welling up about wins. The shame, the fear, the realisation that a disgrace.

'Is this beautiful pink or something to vigorously?' she asks.

'You're right,' he says. 'We have only one another. No one else we can get more. That is it.'

'Is the pink?'

She pushes her hand further in his direction. The smell of the nail polish piques his nose, it mixes with the air of the baked sardines.

'Dus you can now also get no one else. Discarded do you. Why have you got.' He talk more against themselves than against her.

'It is well to pink?'

'No,' he says. 'Just Right. Mrs Field Camp is there. They gave me half-naked having regard.'

'who is Mrs Field Camp? I have no idea more Who is who. You must tell me a little bit earlier proposals to all people. I do not know what more matches face.'

They talk as though nothing has happened. So they always talked. As if nothing had happened.

In the bathroom does he generous aftershave on to the smell of the sardines to dispel.

Ibi is its teeth. 'Where is Tirza?' he asks in a cloud of aftershave.

'Die is her boyfriend to retrieve," she says and they continue to brush.

Energetic and drops welriekend ship's steward the stairs. He goes directly to the kitchen, retrieves the plateau from the refrigerator, remove the foil and parades the living room, where lady Veldkamp mother soul only on the couch.

'Sushi,' says ship's steward, 'sashimi. And in the kitchen is wasabi mayonnaise.'

'What tasty," she says.

'Self-made.'

'De sushi?'

'Too. But I was talking about the Wasabi mayonnaise. Who should I make. It is not easy but i have deepened.'

'O.'

They look at each other as to the teacher, biology and the father of Tirza.

'Wait, I will set up some music.'

He runs to the cd player.

Tirza specially for this evening cd leaflets burned. They are all ready. On a pile.

He puts the first cd and continues to listen what music follows. She not only her music, but also a few songs he particularly likes.

'The Andrews Sisters,' says he is glad, 'it is one of her favorite numbers.'

This is due to him. Actually it is his favorite number. When in the cradle was Tirza, he filmed the Andrews Sisters. On the music he danced with her by the room, and he forgot the curse. Also there was no curse, no history, only the baby in his arms, her look, the smell of somewhat acidic milk, its warm head and the Andrews Sisters.

Now there are no Tirza, there is a plateau with sushi and sashimi and a man on age that despite the aftershave vague to baked sardines smells.

He sings and gently with the music note, for lady Veldkamp, on the couch.

'I'll try to explain. Bei mir bist du schön. So kiss me and say you understand.'

Lady Veldkamp smiles. She has certainly already experienced a lot, and if a ship's steward is sung, she says: 'What Wasabi mayonnaise would be nice.'

He goes to the kitchen, comes back with the Wasabi mayonnaise and a dish and allow lady Field Camp itself brag off with a small wooden spoon. Also from the Japanese shopping in the Beethovenstraat.

He looks proud how they eat sushi.

The happiness, the intensive, intolerant, ravenous happiness of the youth he recalls only a rumor. A fairy tale that he himself never read it.

Of his youth or what we had to continue is a worn song about.

He runs to the cd player and start the CD again.

And while lady Veldkamp him a little surprised and also somewhat fearful aanstaart, with the sushi in her hand, he sings for her.

'Ridi,' sings a ship's steward. 'Ridi ridi ridi ridi, ridi.'

To nine hours is the room filled with a fourteen young people, lady Veldkamp, and a teacher economy against whom a ship's steward Hans must say, but of Tirza is still no trace. The wife is hiding in the bedroom, fuming probably, occasionally still smiling to the childhood love with his dead seed, as you albeit with its hand in a failure to smiles. A colossal disaster.

And ship's steward himself with raw fish by the house. It shares a kir from, talks about subjects on which he has never been a word has changed, he already has two cocktails, a caipirinha and a screw driver. Both very successful. He has outdone itself, says he himself, he will constantly this evening.

Without much trouble is growing it above the Jörgen ship's steward from those years ago on the celebrations of his wife taciturn in a corner with snacks around went up in mid call or plant water. Heady celebrations were that, with men many years younger than ship's steward, his wife the status of 'house friend'.

There is progress in Jörgen ship's steward. He is social. Milder and accessible. More than what he is also the father of Tirza now, and in that role he is good temper, uitgelatene. It will not be to him.

In the middle of a tour with edamame, soya beans prepared on Z'n Japanese, he thinks to recognize a boy from the winter on an early Sunday morning is encountered in his bathroom. The boy was on the badrand, sick and showed with red eyes. But if he the boy polite but clearly, while he asks him what edamame has, denies those. 'I've never been,' he says. Although a ship's steward are sure to have seen him in his bathroom, try to have him, he does not go on. Also the youth has the right to politeness to lies.

Ibi is downstairs and sit on the couch, in addition to the teacher of biology. In any case one of his daughters is present on the feast.

After a long silence has developed a call between Ibi and the teacher, what a ship's steward comes on. Ibi is stiff. In the past it was Ibi against everything. There are still days she that is.

The voordeurbel regularly and than rushes Tirza's father to the front door to do what his youngest daughter would have to do. Shaking hands, kisses have adoring review, compliments receipt. Ship's steward it at a firm handshake, in some cases with the words that everything must declare: 'I am Tirza's father.' the word appears a smile on his face which he himself for compelling.

'They shall meet as,' he says again and again, 'it is also her boyfriend.' It sounds as if he knows exactly what he is at that boyfriend as if the proposals must family ship's steward already three times with the boy has been on holiday.

Some of the guests give him the gift that is intended for Tirza. They mumbling: 'Here, for Tirza', and they print it slightly in the manual, without giving him to look. Shy boys, of whom ship's steward suspect that they have been in love ever on Tirza. That they have written her letters, in the middle of the night distraught have sent SMS messages which they later so deep that they were embarrassed by the following day not dared to school. He tries to encourage them. He would not want to define them hope. Shyness can be a curse. Never hope, that is the question. What happens. Not give up hope. Continue.

'They will be pleased with them,' he says, without knowing what is hiding under the wrapping paper. And he puts the presents on the dresser, in the middle of other small and large packs and the obligatory drink bottles, what flowers. The tradition of the gift table holds position. A family is a construction of traditions. Ship's steward would like that they are a family, a small family, half a family maybe. That is why he defends the traditions, therefore he puts them on his own, if necessary.