Daniela Kapitánová - Samko Tále's Cemetery Book

But when I went down to double-check regarding the locking up I found the doors were unlocked, so I got very worked up and I went inside and that’s when I found him sitting on a chair at the table with a blank piece of paper in front of him.

And when I found him like that I got even more worked up and I got so frightened that I got ill with my intestines, because I’m not supposed to get upset. If I’d known that Alf Névéry was planning something like this I could have got ready for it, but the way it happened I wasn’t ready at all. Plus his eyes were open as if he was looking, but you could tell that he wasn’t looking and that his eyes were just open without seeing. So I went and called Ivana in Bratislava straight away because Alf Névéry was her idea in the first place. And I asked her to come and sort things out, because I was very upset and ill with my intestines.

I got really scared, although I don’t normally get scared, because I thought that people might ask why he died in my flat and not in some other place, even though he hadn’t been ill. Because I didn’t know anything regarding any illnesses that he may have had and that’s why I never thought that he could be ill. And if you don’t know what’s what and why and how, you might get into big trouble.

Once there was this woman in Komárno whose name was Latajnerová. She was an unmarried old maid regarding the fact that she was ugly and her breasts were no good, although she had I.Q. She used to live near the Swimming Pool and once her neighbour, whose name was Nora Honilová, asked her if she could come and look out of her balcony. Latajnerová said yes, but the thing was that Nora Honilová didn’t really want to look out of her balcony, what she wanted to do was jump out regarding suicide due to this man who was in an all-Komárno dance band called The Dancing. And Nora Honilová managed to die due to her suicide jump because it was the eighth floor.

Then Latajnerová got into big trouble because people blamed her and said, what’s the point of her I.Q., if she let Honilová come and look out of her balcony and that she should have known that nobody goes to see their neighbour just because they feel like looking out of their eighth-floor balcony. Latajnerová kept saying that nobody could have known what would happen, but people still blamed her for not having known and letting it happen.

But nobody blamed the man from the dance band called The Dancing because he already had one child out of bedlock and he didn’t care regarding his child so nobody felt like blaming him because he wouldn’t have cared about that, either.

So everyone blamed Latajnerová because she wasn’t uncaring, only ugly and her breasts were no good.

After that she went to live with her mother in Nová Stráž. That’s a village near Komárno. But people there blamed her too for not having known and for letting it happen.

I blamed her, too.

Her name was Anna Latajnerová.

And that’s why I was frightened that people might start talking and might ask how come I allowed Alf Névéry to die in my flat without him being ill, so that’s why I phoned Ivana and asked her to come, but Ivana didn’t believe me on the telephone and thought that I was just making it all up, but I’m no retard, so why should I make up things like that? And besides, I could see that he wasn’t moving and his eyes were open without seeing.

I didn’t even touch him because I got all scared and regarding my fright I got ill with my intestines so I just waited for Ivana to come and sort things out and to make all the arrangements, because she’s good at sorting things out and making all the arrangements. I could have called Margita too because she’s good at making all the arrangements too, but she wouldn’t have wanted to make any arrangements because she had been against renting to Alf Névéry in the first place because she had wanted the flat for her sons. But then Ivana said that Alf Névéry was going to pay 4,000 Slovak crowns per month and after that Margita agreed but she’s never stopped being offended regarding the renting.

Ivana came from Bratislava really fast because she has a car, meaning that she could come really fast. Her husband Žebrák has a car, too They have one car each, meaning that they have two cars between them.

I don’t have any cars even though I could easily buy 200 cars if I wanted to, because I’m economical and I’m not a squanderer, but I don’t want any cars because I’m hard-working and I don’t have time for a car.

Other people in Komárno have all sorts of cars too and some people even have two cars and I hate it when everyone has a car because they don’t give me the right of way, even though I am a proper road user and they are obligated to give me the right of way. But they think they don’t have to because all I have is a handcart.

But they are obligated and sometimes when they don’t give me the right of way I write them down and they get reported. For example, at the big crossroads outside the Hospital.

The only thing I don’t get is why they don’t give me the right of way at the big crossroads outside the Hospital because they are obligated.

Because I have the right of way due to being a proper road user.

And then Ivana arrived and then she believed me and started to make all the arrangements and later that night I saw her cry in the toilet. Later on I will write about Ivana crying in the toilet at night.

When she’d made all the arrangements, they took him away and whatever, but they didn’t want to bury him because they couldn’t find a reason. Because they said that nobody dies without a reason so it had to be investigated, so they sent him to Nové Zámky because that’s where they have people regarding investigating reasons. And then they said that he had died of a failure.

And this is how Ivana cried in the toilet:

I often have to go to the toilet at night for urinating purposes because my kidneys have a disability pension, so that night I also had to go for urinating purposes and that’s when I found Ivana there, but she wasn’t sitting on the toilet, she was sitting on the floor crying. Her head was leaning against the wall in the toilet and her mouth was totally open like she wanted to scream really badly, but no sound was coming out, she was just crying and had tears and saliva and snot streaming down her face and Ivana was shaking her head as if she wanted to wipe those things off her face onto the wall.

I got very frightened, because I’d never seen anyone cry like that, not even at a funeral or on TV or anywhere else in the world, because the way Ivana cried was really crazy.

So I went back without urinating, even though it’s very bad for me.

Afterwards I often thought about Ivana crying, because it’s really not a proper thing to cry like that, because Ivana is 45 years old now, because she is older than me. Ivana cried as if she was little and that’s not a proper thing to do if you’re 45 years old and have three children and if you’re on TV all the time, so it isn’t proper at all.

But if Ivana ever gets nasty with me regarding dressing and washing myself, I will report her to Žebrák about her crying when Alf Névéry died. Because I hate Ivana when she comes to my flat and goes round sniffing as if I stank, and I hate her always bringing me new clothes and saying that I’m not hygienical. Alf Névéry was hygienical and it didn’t do him any good, because he did not lead a healthy life of style because he drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes and never drank yoghurt, even though it’s very good for you regarding health. Anyway.

And maybe that’s why the doctors couldn’t find a reason because they didn’t know him and they didn’t know that he used to leave the lights on all night and that he slept during the day because he was the wrong way round. If they’d asked me I’d have told them about him being the wrong way round, but doctors get very upset if you try to tell them what to do so I’m not telling them what to do regarding the reason and they can figure it out for themselves, right?