James Kelman - Dirt Road

If it had been night-time he could have got up and walked out and nobody would know. Here the sky was blue, the sun was shining, Saturday afternoon and the broadest daylight ever ye could get. On stage Lancey introduced another one and on they went, him on fiddle, another waltz

oh but sad sad sad bloody sad, that voice this morning, the French guy doing the French song, how did he get that sadness it made ye bloody cry just so so sad. Stupid stupid stuff, that was music and just fuck, how they got that sadness. How do they do it? Musicians just get it. Some get it, Queen Monzee-ay in her playing, sitting there, the all-stars, she was just staring; where she was staring, ye would never ever know. Never. Never never. She was sitting there staring off, and that sad waltz rhythm. What was she staring at? Nothing, only her eyes were open. She was the centre. Ye knew it. Ye had to watch her. Murdo had never seen anybody, never seen anybody, whatever she was she was just, she was just like what, the minute-most minute

Murdo was onto his feet now gripping the accordeon-case handle, not looking to the front but squeezing his way sideways out. He could not stay because people would see him. Out from the row of chairs Aunt Edna was standing with the guy in the black studded hat. They were to the side of the space away from the seated area and people milled around next to her. She had glanced in Murdo’s direction but wouldnt have seen him if he didnt do anything. He waved to her. Aunt Edna, he had to. She saw him coming and laughed a real laugh, introduced him to the older man in the black studded cowboy hat; a musician. Diego Narciso. Murdo had never heard of him.

Aunt Edna spoke in Spanish to the man, and Queen Monzee-ay’s name was mentioned, then added to Murdo: I told Diego you aint ever heard of him Murdo, he says you got no education!

Diego extended his hand to Murdo and they shook hands, and clapped Murdo on the shoulder. Hey Murdo: you play with Queen Monzee-ay?

Murdo grinned.

Good. Diego nodded, turned to one of four young guys who were standing not far away, and spoke with him in Spanish. The four listened to Diego, seeing Murdo and the accordeon-case.

Aunt Edna put her arm round him drawing him to her, and whispered: He is telling them about you. These young ones are his band, they play tonight Murdo. Diego is very famous here: one of the finest players — from Texas but you know like Mexico? Aunt Edna kissed Murdo on the cheek. People will be very pleased to see you here. Aunt Edna pointed over to where Sarah was sitting. You see Sarah and Joel there? Gene too. You know Gene? sitting with Sarah, a fine guitarist Murdo, he plays with you tonight.

Aunt Edna broke off to join the applause for the end of a song, then dropped her cigarette to the ground, and tried to crush it beneath the heel of her boot, but it kept burning. Murdo stepped on it. The band leader Lancey was telling the audience in a mixture of French and English that Queen Monzee-ay would now play one of her own songs. Lancey bowed to her. This song also from our tradition, Zydeco tradition. Zydeco, Haricot, Queen Monzee-ay! La maestra, magnifica, Queen of Zydeco music!

There was applause. Aunt Edna shook her head. Oh he dont know, she said, he dont know.

Diego touched her hand. Miss Kwankwan, he said.

Aunt Edna shook her head again. She saw Murdo looking and smiled, but only a moment, and he didnt know what it was, if he had missed something. Queen Monzee-ay had remained seated and she replied to Lancey’s introduction with good humour: Merci Lancey, full of beans as usual! Full of shit as usual!

The audience laughed.

Okay, she said, I sing one of my own songs here, and ask Sarah — Sarah! Queen Monzee-ay beckoned Sarah forwards: My beautiful granddaughter!

Murdo shuffled sideways at the mention of her name, keeping out of view behind people.

Come play alongside your beautiful grandmother! called Queen Monzee-ay.

Sarah stood up. Gave the guy beside her one of these jokey type of looks between couples, and a wee punch on his arm. She walked along and up onto the stage, donned her rubboard. During the applause from the audience Queen Monzee-ay squinting in Murdo’s direction, but it wasnt Murdo it was Diego, she had recognized Diego, and she laughed: Señor Narciso!

She pointed him out to the audience: Mesdames et m’sieurs, un bad hombre in from San Antonio! Diego Narciso: the one and only!

People were surprised and pleased, including Lancey and the band members who shifted and strained forward to see him. Diego took off the cowboy hat and did a sweeping bow with it.

Diego is playing someplace. I dont know! Queen Monzee-ay called to him: Diego! Appearing today! Where and when?

Diego dismissed the question. Queen Monzee-ay smiled. Sometime today!

But the four young guys from his band moved fast; one went to the edge of the platform where he raised a pile of flyers in one hand. He shouted: Esta noche! Las siete y media! Tonight is seven o’clock! Place is Scene Kiosque à Musique!

The other three had bundles of flyers and began passing them out to the audience. Diego shook his head but was smiling. He exchanged words with Aunt Edna.

Then Queen Monzee-ay led Lancey’s band on one of her good fast songs and members of the audience were up onto the floor dancing. She played it on the porch back in Allentown and it was good seeing how she was doing it here. Murdo would have stayed beyond the opening minute except he had to leave before the song, and when it ended, and Sarah came down from the stage.

Aunt Edna was engrossed in the performance and he could have escaped except he couldnt, not without saying; he couldnt do that. Aunt Edna, he said, I’ve got to go now.

To go Murdo?

Eh it’s eh, my father. He’s coming like eh so I’m going to have to go and meet him. Murdo smiled and turned to leave.

Aunt Edna hesitated. They’ll be disappointed you’ve gone.

Yeah but I’ll be there tonight. I just have to go just now. But I’ll eh — it’s just like my father eh…

Things okay with you Murdo?

Yeah.

Aunt Edna gestured at the front row. Joel’s sitting there. And Gene — you know Gene?

Yeah but I just need to go.

How is your father son, how’s he doing?

He’s fine. He’s fine. If ye just tell eh Queen Monzee-ay like I mean I will be there.

Okay Murdo.

Thanks, said Murdo and turned to leave. Two guys from Diego’s band were watching him; they made to speak. One was the guy who had shouted the information earlier. He put his hand out, gesturing at the accordeon-case. Hey! You play with Queen Monzee-ay? Tonight like the Jay Cee, you play with her?

Yeah. Murdo nodded and stepped on. The guy put his hand forwards quickly, pointing at himself. Esteban, he said, then pointing at the other guy: Santiago.

Murdo waited. Santiago grinned, reached to shake hands. Esteban indicated the other two members of the band who were handing out flyers to some of the audience. We four, we are with Diego. Esteban shrugged. We play with him, concert.

Santiago jabbed his finger at Murdo’s chest. Queen Monzee-ay? You play?

Yeah.

Your name?

Murdo.

Murrdo! Santiago nodded. Murrdo! Comp ticket! Santiago handed him a ticket. Is tonight. You come maybe?

Yeah.

Is comp ticket.

Thanks.

Seven o’clock, said Esteban. You are late, we are early. You come.

Yeah, thanks. Murdo shoved the comp ticket and a flyer into his jeans pocket and walked off fast, through the dancers and fringe audience, heading for the rear exit.

*

In the wee grass square the benches remained occupied. He had been waiting for one to become free. He checked for dog shit then sat on the grass, his back to a bush. Later he was awake, his head bent forwards. When he moved it it made a weird crunching noise in his ears. His neck was sore. He rubbed it with his right hand. The accordeon-case and rucksack were secured to his left wrist with his belt. His bum was numb. He must have been sleeping. Probably he had been. He looked for his bottle of water, swallowed a mouthful. He slackened off the belt and inserted it back through the loops on his jeans. How long had he been here? An hour and a half maybe. Late afternoon and warm.