Ma Jian - Stick Out Your Tongue

The path that led to the college gave her great pleasure, and she often dreamed about it in her sleep. She had, however, walked the first part of it thousands of times before. When she opened the door of her meditation room, there it was: a small stone path that wound downhill between the various monastic colleges. At the first turning was a high red wall that enclosed the heart of the monastery: a temple devoted to Sakyamuni and the Sixteen Bodhisattvas. Around this wall was a pilgrim track which one old woman had been circling for twenty years, spinning her handheld prayer wheel, praying that in the next life she would be reborn as a man. Sangsang Tashi often passed her on the way down. Whenever she caught sight of Sangsang Tashi, the old woman would throw herself into a prostration and strike her head on the ground.

Opposite the red wall was the large door to the house of the senior disciplinarian. Stray dogs gathered in the yard outside to chase one another or copulate. Further down on the right one could see the road that led to the monastery’s main entrance. During the Unveiling of the Buddha Tapestry Festival, the road filled with hordes of pilgrims. At other times, traders pitched their tents along the side of the road and plied their wares. Between their tents and the small brick houses, beggars and itinerant masons built makeshift huts out of loose stones. Sangsang Tashi often went down to the road to buy bracelets and earrings from the Indian merchants.

When she walked to the medical college, Sangsang Tashi would turn left at the monastery gates, then leave the road and cut across fields of maize and peas. The dwarf willows that lined the path were overgrown with trailing pepperweed. In the morning, the air filled with the scent of wild campions. Sangsang Tashi often stopped on these fields and looked back at the view of Tenpa Monastery. At the top of the monastery compound, halfway up the mountain, was the stone platform on which, during festival time, the Buddha tapestry was displayed. The platform was huge and immaculate. When the wind blew, Sangsang Tashi could hear the prayer flags flapping on the monastery roofs. It sounded as though the cloth were being ripped apart. Hundreds of small shrines hugged the contours of the mountain. Further along the fields, the path crossed a stream that came down from the mountain and flowed into the Nyangchu River that sparkled in the distance.

Whenever Sangsang Tashi walked this path, she forgot that she was a Living Buddha, the reincarnation of Tenzin Wangdu. The scent of the fields intoxicated her. She liked to stand on the wooden bridge above the Nyangchu River and watch the waterweeds swaying in the current. Across the Nyangchu was the medical college, and beyond that lay the bare, desolate mountains.

Tomorrow, Sangsang Tashi would participate in the Ceremony of Empowerment. In this, her final initiation rite, Amitabha, Buddha of Infinite Light, would remove all greed and anger from her heart, and allow her Buddha Nature to manifest itself at last. It was the first day of autumn, and pilgrims were already coming down from the mountain to prepare for the alms-giving that would follow the Ceremony of Empowerment. Sangsang Tashi had no interest in these events. All she wanted was some time on her own to think things through.

Today she arrived as usual for her master’s class in the main hall of the medical college. A corpse lay in the centre of the cavernous room. Today the master was going to discuss the location of the subtle body’s winds, channels and drops. This was a subject that was of great interest to Sangsang Tashi. Once the novice monks had placed the corpse on the altar, the master picked up his knife. He cut open the corpse’s chest, removed the five organs and six innards, pulled out the heart and pointed to the inner eye. The foul stench made Sangsang Tashi nauseous. Although her head was shaved like everyone else, she was the only woman in the room. Beside her stood Geleg Paljor who, like the other ten or so students, was staring intently at the master. Geleg had received the Kalachakra teachings at Panam Monastery, and had been sent to the college to pursue his studies. Sangsang Tashi always liked to stand next to him during class.

The master told the student monks to close their eyes, concentrate their thoughts and try to look into his mind. After a few minutes, four monks said that they had been able to read the master’s thoughts. The master asked Sangsang Tashi what she had seen. She was the youngest student in the class, and the only Living Buddha. She immediately entered into a meditative state, but since she had studied yoga for only six years, her inner eye was still clouded. She chanted a mantra to calm her inner deity and regulate her heart channel, but could not visualise the four drops of her subtle body. She felt a sudden burning sensation in her toes. Gradually, the heat became a ball of fire that rose from her legs to her inner eye. She recited the Om Svabhava Mantra to purify her body and steady her consciousness, and slowly saw the image of a frozen river take shape inside her master’s mind. Just as her meditation was about to transport her to the Realm of Light, she saw herself standing naked in this river of ice. She swiftly retreated from her trance and told the master what she had seen.

The master said, ‘The image you saw in my mind is the image that I saw in yours. The eye that sees the future is not the same as the inner eye.’ The master picked up his knife again and rammed it into the corpse’s skull.

Sangsang Tashi was confused. The master hadn’t explained why she had been standing in the ice river. Was that my future? she wondered. The sight of her naked body surprised her. She looked like a dakini, the sky-walking goddesses depicted on the religious paintings she stared at every day. At that moment, the master prised out a small piece of cartilage from below the pituitary gland and said, ‘This is the eye of the future. After years of practice, you will be able to use this eye to see the illnesses and evil spirits that hide inside people’s bodies. A few minutes ago I saw Sangsang Tashi in the frozen river. This is one of the six sufferings and three austerities she is destined to endure two days from now. But listen to me, Sangsang Tashi — your yogic skills are sufficient for you to keep yourself alive for three days in the ice river without coming to harm.’

Sangsang Tashi felt anxious. The frozen river was far away; she had only ever seen it from the top of a mountain. Although she could sit in the snow for a few days without feeling the cold, she had no idea how it would feel to stand in a frozen river. She thought of the heat she’d felt in her toes a few minutes ago. It hadn’t emanated from her own body. She glanced around her and saw a halo of light hovering above Geleg Paljor’s head. She smiled at him. She knew that Geleg’s yoga had already surpassed the master’s, but that he had chosen not to reveal this to anyone.

The master lifted the piece of cartilage from the corpse and said, ‘This man was ignorant and foolish. He led a muddled, confused life. That’s why the cartilage is yellow. If you achieve enlightenment through meditation, your cartilage will become transparent. The Chan, Orthodox and Tantric Buddhist practices all depend on the use of this eye. It alone allows you to see into the Buddha Realm, clarify your vision and discern the pure essence of all things.’

The master dug out the corpse’s eye with his knife and pierced it. Observing the turbid liquid that flowed out, he said, ‘The ordinary man sees things through this eye. Because the nature of this eye is clouded, the ordinary man is corrupted by the five poisons and is unable to reach enlightenment.’ Sangsang Tashi gazed at the half-dismembered corpse. He was a middle-aged man, with large, white teeth. A swarm of flies hovered above his exposed innards.